Fatally Yours
by IWriteNaked
Summary: Clary wakes up in a strange place with a splitting headache, no idea how she got there, and a Golden Boy telling her they, along with others, have been kidnapped. But there may be more to this place than she originally thought. AU. Some OOC. Clace. Malec. Sizzy. Jaia. Adult Content. Rated M for violence, language, rape and lemons. Bad summary, sorry.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello!**  
**This is my second fanfiction, and it's well... Rated M for a reason.**

**WARNING: Adult content. Violence. Cursing (I have a foul mouth) Under strange circumstances, this story contains rape and (probably mild) lemons. Potentially just straight smut, depending on how comfortable I feel writing it. Read at your own risk.**

-Clary Fray-

My head aches in a harsh way that it never has before. Pulsing, turning heartbeats to head wounds. _I have to wake up now. _My eyes open slowly, and I blink a few times, waiting for my eyes to adjust to the dim lighting.

My head throbs ruthlessly, but I do my best to ignore it. I'm laying on a large cushy bed. I am not in the hospital. I am in someone's home. I try to move my head, but pain shoots through me, and I suck in a breath through my teeth. "Are you awake?" I'm startled by a voice coming from across the room. I make a noise that I don't quite recognize. Something between a growl and a cry.

Faint footsteps carry whoever it is closer to me, and my heart quickens. "The effects of the drug will wear off soon. You'll be able to move painlessly, if I remember correctly." A boy with lightly tanned skin, striking golden eyes and blonde hair leans over me. "Are you alright?" he asks, looking into my emerald eyes.

I struggle to find my voice, but manage to choke out "What is going on?" I shut my eyes again as a big wave of agony rushes through me. The suffering comes and goes, like the tide.

I hear, rather than see, the boy shift on his feet beside the bed. "We'll explain everything once you're feeling better." I don't ask who _we _is. My body aches. "Here, drink some water. It will help." he holds a bottle up to my lips, and I drink as much as I can, enjoying the way the cool water feels on my throat. "Try to sleep it off." The Golden Boy suggest, walking away from me. I hear the door clicking shut behind him a few seconds later.

The next time I awaken the pain is completely gone. I prop myself up on my elbows, looking around the room. It's very organized, and beautiful. The walls are a light shade of blue, with white trim and a stainless carpet that's a few shades darker than the walls. I am laying in blue sheets, with a white blanket. The room is pretty, and mild like a guest room. But I notice something that doesn't make sense: A photo on the top of the dresser. My mother, my brother and I. _How did it get here?_

I push the question out of my mind, rolling out of the bed. The carpet feels incredibly cushy under my bare feet. I look down to see that I'm wearing a black t-shirt and grey pajama shorts that I know I don't own. Which means someone changed my clothes while I was out... That's an uncomfortable though.

I make my way hesitantly toward the door. It swings silently, unlike the door in the apartment I share with my mother and Jonathan. Every door at home creaks loudly. The door leads to a long, wide hallway with several doors on each side. I step out, listening for any sound that might indicate where the Golden Boy went. Down the hall I hear a door slam. It echoes through the large hallway. "Glad to see that sleeping beauty is finally feeling better." Goldy Locks calls, walking away from two large doors on the opposite side of the hallway. He walks past me into the room I just came out of, sitting down on the window seat I hadn't noticed before. _I always wanted a window seat. _

He brings his feet up, and turns to lean his back against the wall. I follow him into the room, mimicking his position on the opposite side of the window. The boy nods awkwardly. "I'm Jace Wayland."

His name sounds familiar, but I can't quite place it. "Clary Fray." I say in a small voice. Jace nods again, but doesn't say anything. Now that I'm not too busy writhing in pain to see clearly, I notice that he's very attractive. And I'm certain that I've seen his face before. "You're one of the missing teenagers from the news."

Jace looks surprised for a second, but quickly recovers. "Yes. And now," he hesitates "you are, too."

I inhale deeply before replying. "I assumed." We sit there in silence for a few moments. "Are there others?" I ask, turning my head to look out the window. I can see that we're at least 4 floors away from the ground level. The window looks out over the most beautiful garden I've ever seen. There are flowers growing everywhere, bringing the world to life in an explosion of color. Concrete paths weave through the beauty, leading to wide open spaces and rows of trees. It's elegant and lovely.

"There are eight of us now, including you and I." Jace says, following my gaze out the window.

"Where are they?" I ask, turning back to look at Jace. His eyes are bright in this lighting, and I have a sudden urge to draw him.

"In their rooms, probably. Or in the library. There aren't many other places to go." I nod, but otherwise don't know what to say. I'm strangely calm about this entire situation. Maybe because it hasn't sunk in yet, or maybe because I can't seem to think of anything to go back to anyways. My life with mother was similar to being locked away.

A voice startles me saying "Welcome, Clarissa Fairchild." I don't know where the voice is coming from. I look around for the source, but there's no one in the room besides Jace and I. I look at him, confused.

"It's _him._" Jace mutters, hatred evident in his tone. "Hello, Valentine." he says a little louder.

The voice, Valentine, chimes in again. "Hello, Jace Wayland. I expect you've filled Ms. Fairchild in on the rules."

"My last name is Fray." I interrupt, but they both ignore me.

"I'm working on it." Jace stands, walking into the middle of the room, taking a seat at the foot of the bed.

"Why don't you just show her right now?" Valentine's voice is cold. I've finally found where the sound is coming from. There's a small speaker on the wall near the top, above the dresser.

Jace closes his eyes with a pained expression masking his features. "Not now, Valentine. Please." Jace's voice has taken on a sad and desperate tone.

"You will do as I say, Mr. Wayland. Remember what happened last time." There's a click, indicating that Valentine hung up or whatever.

Jace mutters "Fuck" under his breath, putting his head in his hands. I watch him, and my heartbeat speeds up. He has to do something, I'm unsure of what it is, but judging by his reaction, it isn't anything good.

Jace takes a deep breath, pulling himself together. He stands up and in one swift motion his shirt is falling from his hands to the floor. "What are you doing?" I stutter.

He takes measured steps toward me. "I'm sorry." Jace's voice is kind. "He'll kill you if I don't." Suddenly I understand.

"Is that what happened last time?" I ask, standing up from the window seat.

Jace nods. "I can't explain right now." He leans down and _he's going to kiss me. _I move away from him, quickly, trying to run out of the room, but strong arms wrap around my small frame, holding me back.

I struggle against him, but he's strong. "Stop." I try to sound assertive, but my voice comes out in a pathetic plea.

My back is pushing against the wall, being held tightly between a layer of fresh paint and Jace's naked chest. He sounds nearly as terrified as I feel when he whispers "I'm sorry." I push hard against him, but he is unmoving. "Try to relax." The apathy is back in his voice at full force, and he's reaching for the hem of my shirt. I struggle, trying my hardest to cling to the thin black fabric. He rips it down the front effortlessly, keeping his eyes off of my newly exposed skin. _I'm not wearing a bra. Son of a bitch. _

I tell myself not to cry as Jace pulls me away from the wall and sets me on the edge of the bed. I look down, trying to cover my exposed chest with my arms, even though he still isn't looking at me. He's removing his jeans. _Fuck. Fuck. How am I going to get myself out of this?_

"I really don't want to hurt you." Jace stands in front of me, wearing nothing but a pair of grey boxer shorts. "I refused with the last girl, and they killed her." His voice is angry, and his face flashes with sadness. He sits down beside me, but doesn't try to touch me. I cringe away from him anyways, though I'm overcome by a strange feeling that I should comfort him.

The voice comes over the speaker again. "Continue, Mr. Wayland." Valentine's voice is cold and impatient. _He can see us?_

Jace sighs, reaching for me again. I jerk my arm away from his outstretched hand. "I advise you cooperate, Ms. Fairchild." Valentine says coldly.

"Fray." I correct him again. "My name is Clary Fray." I say, irritated, though I'm not sure why it matters. Valentine clicks off, still ignoring my insistence that he calls me by my correct name.

I cross my arms tighter over my chest, trying to cover myself with the torn fabric. Jace tries gently to lower my arms, but I resist. my heart beats slightly harder than usual, but I'm not afraid until Jace pushes me back onto the bed, placing his knees on either side of my body. He's leaned over me, his muscular arms supporting his weight.

My hands push desperately at his chest, but he's very heavy. I can't push him off of me. _I wish I'd taken Physical Education more seriously._

I know that he's doing this to keep me alive, and I know that there's no way I can overpower him, but I continue to fight him. Trying to make it as inconvenient and uncomfortable as possible. I might asphyxiate, but I won't lose hope.

I push harder against his chest, digging my nails into him this time. He doesn't even flinch when I break through his lightly tanned skin. He just keeps his golden eyes on my face. He's so close I can see the darker amber flecks in his lightly colored eyes.

His hand brushes softly against my cheek, and he lowers his face to mine, but I turn my head away from him. He can't have my first kiss. "Don't."

Jace doesn't try to kiss me again, but his hands trail along my body, touching me in ways that no one ever has. He lifts his body off of mine just long enough to remove the grey shorts I was wearing. I try to keep them on, but my feeble attempt doesn't stop him. I am entirely naked underneath of a mostly naked stranger.

When he removes his boxer shorts I catch a glimpse of him, and I know that this is going to hurt. Laying on my back, I try to crawl backwards away from him. Jace grips my hips gently but firmly, pulling me back to him. My arms are pinned suddenly above my head, and I can't free them from his grip.

Jace positions himself at my entrance, trailing his lips down my neck. "I'm sorry." he repeats. "Try to relax. It will be better if you do." I ignore his advice, focusing all my energy on trying to get out from under him. He sighs, trying to still my wiggling frame. I've hardly been able to move. He's still positioned perfectly, slowly pushing into me.

"Stop." I beg, trying again to pull my hands free. He says he's sorry again as he tears through something inside of me. I whimper, tears pricking at my eyes. _Don't cry _I tell myself.

Jace tries to kiss me again, but I turn away. "No." is all I can bring myself to say.

"Fuck" Jace mutters under his breath again. His movements are halted, waiting for me to adjust to his massive size. The guilt in his expression mixes with lust until the guilt is hardly noticeable at all. If I hadn't watched the transformation I might not have seen any lingering guilt at all.

His movements start as slow strokes, building up to rough thrusts. I wince every time he pushes into me. He's given up on apologizing, and being gentle. And I've given up on making him stop. I keep my eyes focused on the window, trying to keep my thoughts anywhere but here, but I can feel every part of him that's touching me.

His lips and teeth nibbling lightly on my neck. Groan escaping from his throat. He releases my hands once he realizes that I've stopped struggling. Using his newly freed hand to feel gingerly at my body. my head is turned to the side, but I can feel his gaze on my face. A tear escapes from my eye, and Jace wipes it away tenderly, never breaking the rhythm of his thrusts. "Don't cry." he whispers delicately. "It's going to be okay."

I know that this isn't his fault, but I don't want him to comfort me. The tip of his tongue trails up my neck to my jawline. His hands are soft against my cheek, turning my face toward him. he's uncomfortably close, his lips nearly touching mine. They brush against my mouth tenderly before I jerk my head to the side again. He sighs at my refusal to kiss him, yet again and continues nipping lightly at my neck.

His hips maneuver more frantically, crashing forcibly into me. "You're hurting me." I say, pushing pathetically at his chest again. There's dried blood from where my nails cut through his skin.

Jace slows down, taking care to be more gentle. His hand goes into my hair, holding me close to him. It's meant to be comforting, but I hate it. "I'm sorry." he apologizes for the hundredth time. "It's almost over." he adds, kissing my forehead.

He sighs softly, and I feel his fingertips meet my spine. His head ducks down, a guttural noise rising from his throat. It takes me a moment to realize what's happening.

Jace falls heavily onto the bed beside me. I pull the throw at the foot of the bed up, covering myself. "Are you okay?" he asks, turning onto his side. _How did this happen? _I sit up, bringing my knees up to my chest. I'd expected to feel stolen once it was over, but instead I feel nothing.

I couldn't tell you how long I sit like that, with Jace's tawny eyes burning into my bare back, like stigmata. I don't know the exact moment when the numbness subsided, and sobs wracked my body.

Strong arms wrap around my back, and under my knees, lifting me from the bed. He tries to set my feet on a cool tile floor, but my legs are not steady enough to hold my weight and I crumble helplessly to the floor. I hear a sharp intake of breath, and the sound of a shower starting.

I'm lifted into the shower, abandoning the throw at the door. The water is the perfect temperature. I'm sitting on the shower floor, with my knees up to my chest and my arms wrapped around my legs.

Jace sits down beside me, water streaming through his golden hair. "Why am I here?" I ask, bitterly.

Jace leans his head against the shower wall. "Valentine and his son, Sebastian, are insane. They think they're creating the perfect couples. They stalk kids for months, learning everything about them. Once they've chosen you, they take you here after drugging you. The last girl they brought for me is dead because I refused to consummate the marriage..." Jace leads off.

"Marriage?" I ask, confused.

"Our wedding is tomorrow." he announces, watching me for a reaction. I stare at him blankly. "I'm sorry I had to do that to you. I just didn't want anyone else being killed because of me."

**Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think.**

-IwriteNaked


	2. Chapter 2

**Wow! I woke up to 44 emails this morning. You guys are awesome! I never expected to get such an awesome response! Thanks to everyone who follow, favorited or left a review for Fatally Yours!**

**This chapter is going to be kind of boring. I need to set things up, get a little bit of character background and stuff. Bear with me.**

-Clary Fray-

The mirror is fogged over when Jace and I step out of the shower. I've finally pulled myself together enough to use my legs with little to no trouble. Jace pulls two white towels from the linen closet across from the sink and tosses one to me.

I'm sore in places I've never been sore before, but I ignore the dull ache in my core, and wrap myself up inside of the plush towel. Jace's eyes meet mine, and there's guilt etched into his retinas. I know he wants to apologize again, but I turn away before he can.

Somehow, I'm not angry with him. I'm doing my best to understand that he had to do it, without downplaying my own suffering. It's a difficult task, because it was my first time and that's not really how a girl pictures it. "Can Valentine see us all the time?" I ask, leaning against the marble counter top.

"There are cameras in all of the bedrooms." Jace answers, combing his wet hair. "He usually only watches us when we're..." he trails off, putting the comb back in the drawer he pulled it from before. "He'll say something when he's watching. If he hasn't asked you to do something, then he isn't watching." Jace explains.

His feet fall silently, moving across the floor back into the bedroom. I follow behind him, less grace in my walking. The towel starts to slip, but I catch it in time. Jace pulls clean underwear, a black long sleeve t-shirt and grey jeans from their respective drawers in the dresser. "Everything you need is in the drawers on the left." he says, disappearing back into the bathroom again to get dressed.

This strikes me as strange, considering the fact that he's just spent a considerable amount of time naked on top of me, and we showered together. I guess he's just trying to respect my privacy, but we might be a little past the point of modesty.

Just as he said, the left side of the dresser is filled with neatly folded clothing, all of them in my size. It's strange to think that they are so well prepared for me here.

I pull out the first t-shirt I can find, lowering it over a dark grey bra. The t-shirt is black with white lettering that spells out "Man Overboard DEFEND POP PUNK" and I wonder briefly how they knew I like that band. I select a pair of black jeans from the bottom drawer. Jace comes out of the bathroom just as I sit down on the window seat. He's humming a familiar tune, bringing back several different memories associated with the song.

"Polygraph, Right Now?" I ask, casually.

He smiles, sitting beside me. I try to be discreet about moving away, but I see regret flash in his eyes, and I know that he noticed. I'm not angry with him. He's as much of a victim as I am. I know he didn't want to do that to me, but that doesn't mean I'm comfortable. "You know that song?" he recovers quickly, putting up a natural front. Trying to present some semblance of normalcy.

"It's my brother's favorite song." I whisper, suddenly very sad that I'm not with Jonathan. I've never spent more than one night away from him. He's my best - my only friend. We get along better than most siblings do. He keeps me safe, and sings me to sleep after I've had a nightmare.

Jace watches my face silently, while I think of my brother. I wonder if he knows that I'm gone yet. Mother is probably frantic with worry. She nearly has a heart attack if I'm late getting home from school, or don't answer my phone when she calls.

A tall girl with black hair and dark blue eyes walks through the door, letting it swing open behind her. "Hey, you're finally awake." Her eyes rest on mine, and her lips curl up at the edges. I lift my hand to wave lamely at her.

"That's Izzy." Jace explains, cracking his neck.

The stunningly beautiful girl offers her hand to me. "I'm Isabelle Lightwood. But I will also answer to Izzy or Iz." I take her hand, shaking it firmly.

"Clarissa Fray. Call me Clary." I force a smile, unconvincingly.

Isabelle turns to Jace. "When is the wedding?" Her unceremonious tone strikes me as strange. Like arranged marriages have become commonplace for her. I look to the ring on her finger, realizing that she's probably in one herself.

Jace seems taken back as well, but recovers a lot quicker than I do. "It's tomorrow night, at seven."

Izzy smiles. "I'll come get you in the morning. Valentine" she spits his name venomously "wants me to get you ready." I nod, unsure what to say to her. She smiles widely, whirling around. Her hair spreads out, swaying behind her as she exits the room.

Jace and I lapse again into silence. "So..." I mutter, uncomfortably. "You said there's a library?" An image of the library down the street from my home flashes in my memories. I spent a lot of time there when my mother allowed me to leave the house. Something about the silence and being surrounded by books was therapeutic for me. I liked to sit at the tables and read, or sketch. However, mother didn't like for Jonathan and I to go out. She was afraid we'd be taken. I suppose she was right to worry, considering my current situation.

"Yeah. I'll show you." he offers, standing up and offering me his hand. I get up on my own, pretending not to notice his outstretched hand.

In the hallway Jace points to the room across from ours. "That's the music room." He gestures to several other doors. "Iz and Simon. Magnus and Alec. Maia and Jordan. TV room." Halfway down the hallway he stops in front of two large doors. "This is the library."

I point to the end of the hallway to the only door he didn't offer an explanation for. "What's that one?"

Jace looks longingly at it for a moment. "The stairwell." he finally answers. "It's locked. We've tried everything to get it opened." He pushes one of the library doors opened. I stare at the stairwell door for a second before following in after him.

The library is incredible. Shelves from floor to ceiling, filled with all of the classics. New books. Old books. I could spend the rest of my life in this room, and never have enough time to finish reading the entire selection. "Wow." I gasp.

Jace chuckles. "They added something for you."

I look at him, confused. "What?"

He motions for me to follow him. We weave through shelves to the back right corner. It was the exact replica of my mothers art studio. There was no difference, besides the face that hers is in a small room, and this one is in a library. Even photos of Jonathan and I as children hang from the walls. "Well, this is... Creepy."

Jace chuckles again, leaning against one of the book shelves. "Yes, but they've been stalking you for months." he points out.

"Well, I guess I should be even more creeped out then. Thank you for that." I murmur, walking around the studio. It's beautiful, and it feels like home. The only thing missing is the sound of Jonathan's guitar and his singing. I'll miss that the most.

Jace stays leaned against the wall, examining his nails for defects, while I pull out a sketch book and a pen. I plop down onto the overstuffed pastel armchair. The drawing is charcoal black, and spread carelessly across sun dried paper. A girl with black hair that falls all the way down her back. _Isabelle. _I hadn't meant to draw her, but her flawlessness is captivating. Whereas I have no semblance of beauty.

I close the sketchbook, putting it back on the shelf. Jace has settled into the chair opposite mine with a book.

I want to ask what he's reading. To know _something _about the man I'm supposed to marry, but images from earlier are branded into me, and I'm terrified. "You're staring at me." Jace says, boredly.

I look away, blushing. I had been staring at him, but not for the same reason as he thinks. I mutter an apology, sinking back into my chair.

"I'm used to it." he says, never moving his eyes from the page. "Women like to look at me. I'm stunningly attractive."

"Are you always so arrogant?" I ask, rolling my eyes. I've never liked cocky guys. Jon's friends are the most annoyingly egotistical people ever. He's always had a lot of friends, whereas I've never had one. I don't understand how my brother can be so normal, and I can be so awkward.

Jace laughs lightly, and sets the book down. "Not always. Just most of the time."

I sigh, changing the subject. "How long have you been here?" The smirk vanishes from his face.

"3 years." His eyes darken, and he turns away. "I was the first one taken. Followed by Magnus, and then Iz and her brother Alec. Jordan then Simon" you can hear the distaste in his mouth upon saying Simon's name "Maia, and lastly, you." He recites the list, sounding nearly rehearsed to perfection but I can see the sadness breaking through his blank facade.

"Hey Jace, have you seen-" A boy with dark hair and goofy glasses cuts himself off, stopping when he sees me.

"Your dignity?" Jace offers. "Never."

The nerdy boy, ignoring Jace's comment, turns to me. "Hey, I'm Simon." His smile is cute and friendly. It reminds me again of Jonathan's affectionate smile. The way it's always warm and contagious. I can't frown when my brother smiles. Simon's smile is equally infectious.

I smile back, genuinely for the first time today. "Clary."

His smile grows wider. "Nice to meet you."

Jace groans, loudly. "You are insufferable, Lewis."

Simon sighs, but otherwise seems unfazed by Jace's words. "Do you know where Magnus is?" he asks, turning back to Jace. "He stole my one of a kind Darth Vader action figure, and I can't find him."

Jace blinks several times, seemingly amazed. "Are you even trying?" Simon's face implies that he doesn't know what Jace is talking about. "Get out of here, Master Splinter. I haven't seen Sparkles all day." I feel bad for giggling at Jace's insult, but Simon kind of does resemble Master Splinter.

A pang of longing appears in the pit of my stomach. Everything leads back to Jonathan. He's been my whole world for 16 years. Just last week he and I ordered pizza and watched all of the old TMNT movies. I am going to miss my mother, and her boyfriend Luke, but I'll miss Jon more than the others. I wish there was a way that I could tell him I'm okay. At least hear his voice one last time. Tears sting my eyes, threatening to spill over the brim.

The sound of something dragging along the floor resonates in the air, and I feel a hand landing gently on my knee. When I look up I see that Jace has dragged his chair closer to me. He ducks his head, chin down, his long eyelashes covering the gold in his eyes from this angle. He blinks a few times before shifting only his eyes to look at me. The expression causes my heart to pound, and that nervous feeling you get in your stomach.

I jerk my knee away from his hand, still uncomfortable with his touch. "What's wrong?" He asks, ignoring the fact that I jerked away from him. "Why are you crying?" I can tell that he wants to touch me again, because it's such an essential part of comforting someone, but he keeps his hands to himself. For that, I am grateful.

"I won't ever see my brother again, will I?" I sniff, wiping tears from my eyes with the back of my hand.

Jace takes a deep breath before answering. "No, probably not." His voice is quiet. At least he's being honest with me. I don't want comfort right now. I want the truth.

**Sorry it's kind of boring. I'll try to make my next update more eventful.**

**For everyone who wasn't reading my first story and doesn't know my schedule: I usually update every day Wednesday through Saturday, and sometimes Sunday. I'm pretty good at keeping my word on when I'll update next.**

**See you all on Wednesday. Until then, let me know what you think, and if you have any ideas/requests.**

**-IWriteNaked**


	3. Chapter 3

**Jeez. Sorry I'm getting this up so late. I planned to post early this morning, but I had to watch someone get a tattoo.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments. I'm just dicking around. Also, I don't own I'm Sick by Misser (the song Jace yells a line from)**

-Clary Fray-

By the time I've found my way back to the window seat, the sun has gone down and the moon shines directly through the window. It's full and bright, like my mothers eyes. My sketchbook rests gently against my knees. Jace said he was going to see someone called Alec. I don't mind. I'm glad to be alone for a few moments.

_I need to get out of here. _"Hello, Clarissa. I trust you're enjoying your stay." Valentine comes on over the speaker, breaking through my internal dialogue. I move away from the window, placing my sketch book on the bed. It's still open to a half finished drawing of my mother, Luke and Jonathan.

"Oh, it's been swell." I reply unenthusiastically.

"That's a nice drawing, Ms. Fairchild." he admires. "You miss your brother." It isn't a question. He knows countless other things about me, so why not my innermost desires to just see my brother one last time?

I close the sketch book, wordlessly. I am unable to speak through the lump of sadness that has formed in my throat, and I have nothing to say anyways. After several moments of silence I simply say "My last name isn't Fairchild."

Valentine chuckles, and I form an image in my head of what he might look like. Clean. A suit and tie. Soft features, that somehow make him look intimidatingly handsome. "Would you prefer to be called Morgenstern?"

"I don't know where these names are coming from. My name is Clary Fray." I groan, frustrated.

"I don't see why it really matters." the man says satirically. "You'll be called Wayland after tomorrow." I want to scream at him, but my breath catches in my throat and that clicking noise sounds through the air indicating that he's gone. I can feel my voice as it runs away from me.

_Pull it together, Clary. _I straighten out when Jace walks through the door, trying to give the illusion that I'm not on the verge of having a mental breakdown. I'm sitting in the center of the bed, and Jace lays down above the white comforter beside me. I scoot out of the middle, giving him space to spread out. He's humming another familiar tune.

"I like that song." I tell him, suddenly uncomfortable with the lack of conversation.

He smiles genuinely, I think. _Loudly _he sing "I'm wrecking borrowed cars, and passing out at bars." I laugh at his enthusiasm, uncrossing my legs and leaning against the headboard. The room goes silent again, until there's a knock at the door. Jace mutters "Come in." and a... Flamboyant, sparkly boy walks in. "Hey Maggy, what's up?"

The boy smiles, mischievously. "Hiding from Simon." He holds up a Darth Vader action figure. "This is Clary, I assume." he says, turning his thick lined eyes to me. "My name is Magnus, not Maggy."

Jace chuckles, picking up my pen from the middle of the bed and clicking it repeatedly. "Whatever you say, Mags."

Magnus ignores Jace. "Izzy has been talking about you." I smile, but otherwise don't react. What could she possibly have to say about me after having a conversation that lasted no longer than thirty seconds?

"Go hide somewhere else, Sparkles." Jace laughs, but it's obvious he doesn't dislike Magnus. The nicknames are out of affection. "I'm going to sleep." He hops out of the bed, grabs something from the dresser and makes his way into the bathroom. The glitter covered boy rolls his eyes and leaves the room, closing the door silently behind him.

Jace returns a few moments later in a white v-neck and dark blue pajama pants that have Scooby Doo all over them. I suppress a giggle when I see them. My feet hit the floor just as Jace lands in the bed.

In the porcelain bathroom I slip into an over sized Alien Nation t-shirt and track pants. It's creepy that they know I like Alien Nation. It's easy to find out which bands I like. Look on my TumblR or look at the many band t-shirts I wore to school all the time. But to know I enjoy Alien Nation has to mean they've seen me watching it in my room late at night. I shudder as I walk out of the bathroom.

When I return Jace has my sketchbook in his hands. I curse myself for leaving it on the bed, but at least there are only two drawings in it right now. I slide into the bed hesitantly. "Your family?" Jace asks, handing the book to me. I glance at the half finished drawing for a second before closing it and placing it on the nightstand.

"Yes." is the only answer I have to offer.

"I can sleep somewhere else, if you're uncomfortable." he offers, noticing my hesitance to settle into the bed.

I pull the comforter over my shoulder, snuggling into my pillow. "No, it's fine." I _am _uncomfortable with the idea of sharing a bed with him. But I'm even more uncomfortable with the idea of sleeping here alone. _Who knows what goes on in this place at night?_

Jace says "If you say so." as he gets up to turn out the lights. The room goes dark, with nothing but the glow of moonlight streaming in, breaking through the blackness.

I close my eyes, imagining that I'm back home in my own bed. Sleep comes easily, and soundly.

"Psst! Clary, wake up." Izzy whispers, shaking my shoulder. _Did she seriously just 'psst' me? Do people really do that? _I groan, rolling over to escape her grasp. "Wake up Clary." She pokes my side, causing my eyes to fly open. I hate being poked in the side.

Jace's face is very close to mine. His eyes are closed, and his breathing is soft but I can feel it on my forehead. I roll back over toward Isabelle when she pokes my side again. "Okay, I'm getting up." I climb noiselessly out of bed, into the shower and then go to find Iz in her room where Simon's sleeping figure is spread across the king sized bed.

She gets to work immediately on my hair, and amazingly the blow dryer doesn't wake Simon. He doesn't even stir at the sound. I wonder why we're getting started so early in the morning if the wedding isn't until seven PM. After she's spent 4 hours on my hair, I begin to understand.

Once my hair is done she sits me on her bed, now vacant, and tells me not to move. Moments later she comes back with two plates, both holding cucumber sandwiches and salad. The sight of food reminds me that I haven't eaten anything since I got here, and I'm starving.

I try to eat slowly, but my stomach doesn't allow me to do anything other than inhale the food. Isabelle smiles, as if she understands as she takes my plate away from me and offers me a bottle of water. I accept it gratefully. "Are you nervous?" she asks.

"About what?" I ask, momentarily forgetting why I'm here.

Isabelle smiles again. "Getting married. You know... Your wedding." She looks at me expectantly.

"No." I answer automatically, and Izzy frowns. "I mean... It's not like it's even a legal marriage." I ramble.

"No, they're not legal." Iz pushes hair from her dark eyes. "Every one of us want to get out of here, but we're also grateful in a way. Every one of these couples that Valentine" she spits his name again, and I can clearly hear the hatred in her usually soothing voice "and Sebastian have constructed... Well, we love each other." Isabelle smiles, probably thinking of Simon. "The only thing we don't have is freedom. We aren't abused or neglected. They know what a couple needs to thrive." I nod, not knowing what to say. "All I'm trying to say," she starts again "is that if we were to leave this place, every couple here would still stay together. They've placed us together for a reason. We fit. None of us were happy about it originally, but I love my husband."

After Isabelle has finished her speech I still have no idea what I'm supposed to say. _Do they have Stockholm Syndrome? _No, they all seem to hate their captors but love their fellow victims. Sure, why not.

But if what she says is true... Why would they place me with Jace? Isabelle seems to think they know how to set up two people who will make a perfect couple, but how? I want to ask her why I would've been placed with a stranger, but I'm certain that she would be just as lost as I am.

Iz pulls me back into her bathroom, talking casually as if we haven't been ripped away from our families and forced into marriage, and whatever else they want from us. "I wanted to put your hair up, but Jace likes it down." I wonder how he even has a preference on how I wear my hair, after knowing me for less than 24 hours. Not to mention that he's never seen me with my hair up. I don't say any of these things though. I just let the gorgeous girl continue to prep me for a wedding that doesn't feel like mine.

I remind myself that it _isn't _mine. I never agreed to this. Never had a choice. "You have a fantastic complexion." Izzy compliments, rubbing thick tinted lotion across my cheeks.

I remain silent for hours, until Izzy announces that I'm perfect, and it's time to get into the dress. She hands me the hunk of fabric and I step into it numbly, never taking notice of the way it looks.

When Izzy squeals excitedly I'm brought back to reality. I stand in front of a floor length mirror, my hair cascading in soft curls, halfway down my back. The dress is an off white, going all the way to the floor. It has a lightly plunging neckline, and a string that laces up the left side in the front. Layers of different shades and consistencies of lace decorate the bottom half of the dress. **(AN: Link to the dress on my profile)**

My eyes look wistful, and more vibrantly green than ever before. "I look like my mom." I say, exasperated.

"You don't like it?" Iz asks, frowning.

"I love it." I say, remembering how beautiful my mother is. How I've spent my entire life hoping that one day I will look like her.

Izzy sighs in relief. "Good. Jace is just going to die when he sees you."I frown at the reminder. I am stuck here, being forced to marry a man I don't know. Tears prick at my eyes. I choke back a sob, not wanting to cry in front of Isabelle. _I want to go home. I want to wake up from this nightmare, and hear Jon singing me back to sleep like he always does._

We sit in silence, Izzy doing a few quick touch ups to my hair and makeup. She sighs, admiring her work. "You look fantastic." I force a smile remaining silent, in fear that if I speak I might cry. Isabelle looks at the clock on the wall. It reads 6:52. "I have to go. Someone will bring you down in a minute." Without another word, she bolts out the door, letting it swing open behind her.

A knock at the door comes less than five minutes later. I open it to reveal something I never would have expected. Piercingly black eyes bore into mine, and I cannot move away from him. His features are sharp and angular. Painfully handsome. I know this face. I've seen it every day of my life. I've drawn this face hundreds of times. Broken it down into tiny details. My breath hitches. _Jonathan._

It takes me a moment o realize that the boy standing in front of me is _not_ my brother. The resemblance is striking, but this boy has hair as black as coal, whereas Jonathan's hair is stark white. This guy is thinner. Less muscular, and several inches shorter. He offers his hand to me. "Sebastian Verlac."

I stand frozen in my place. He smiles kindly at me, and even their smiles are the same. I blink several times, expecting the image to distort itself, but it stays the same. I accept his handshake, never removing my eyes from his hauntingly familiar face. I know he is probably a terrible person, but I want to hug him. _Stop. He isn't Jonathan._

He links our arms together, leading me toward the stairwell. I follow blindly, until I hear music and realize he's walking me down the isle. _Goodnight Moon _by God Radio has always been the song I wanted to walk down the isle to, but how did they know that? It's something I'd only thought about. There's nowhere they could've found that information.

The room is decorated beautifully. Flowers and soft colors all over. It reminds me of the view of the garden from my window.

Sebastian and I reach the end of the isle before I've had a chance to take it all in. The song stops, and the room is filled with the sound of people breathing. I don't know why everyone is breathing so loudly.

I look up to see the sparkly one, Magnus, dressed as a priest, snickering to himself. His hair is spiked up with massive amounts of glitter in it. It catches the lights in a blinding way.

I turn away from him as Sebastian hands me off to Jace. I may have imagined it, but I think Sebastian glared at Jace.

Jace is wearing exactly what you'd expect a groom to be wearing. A black tux, with a white shirt underneath. He looks breathtakingly handsome, and under normal circumstances I might have had a crush on him. I might have tried to befriend him. However, these are not normal circumstances.

Before I know what's happening, Jace has said "I do." and I realize that it's my turn.

Jace nudges me. "I do." I say, trying to sound at least okay, which is far from how I feel.

Magnus chuckles again. "You may kiss the bride." My eyes go wide when Jace turns to me. I hadn't thought about the kiss. I've never kissed anyone before.

Fear strikes me and I can't move. Jace places his hand gently on my neck, and plants his lips very steadily against mine. His lips are warm and soft, and he kisses very patiently. I'm forced to admit: It feels nice.

He pulls away, eyes brimming with apathy. I can see myself reflected in his pupils, and my expression matches his. Kissing him felt good, but it didn't mean anything. I'm suddenly furious that he's taken my first kiss and my virginity.

_I Like You _by Man Overboard plays while we walk out together. There are very few people joining us in the room that seems to be set up for eating and dancing. Izzy wears a too short maroon dress. Magnus, still dressed as a priest, has his arm around a boy I haven't seen before. He has messy black hair and sapphire eyes. He shares similar features with Izzy. I assume he's her brother, Alec.

Simon leads Iz to the dance floor when _Mario Kart Love Song _by Sam Hart comes on. Sebastian glares at Jace from across the room.

Two people I've never met are making their way to the dance floor. _Maia and Jordan. _Soon everyone is dancing, other than Sebastian, Jace, a man I'm assuming is Valentine and I. He looks just like Sebastian, but one thing is unsettling: His hair. He's got the same hair as my brother.

He looks the way I imagine Jon will look in 20 years. "Clarissa, it's so good to finally meet you in the flesh." Valentine says, pulling me away from Jace, and onto the dance floor. A slow song plays, and Valentine pulls me into him for a dance.

I want to pull away but his grip is strong. "I expect you to satisfy your husband tonight, Clarissa." Out of the corner of my eye I see Sebastian and Jace leaned against the wall talking, and I wish I could go to them. I wish I could ask why these two men look so much like my brother. When I don't respond Valentine says "Your marriage must be consummated, Clarissa."

I just nod, too numb to argue. "Okay."

**I probably won't be able to update tomorrow, because this week is weird, but I will update on Friday!**

**Review! I love hearing your opinions and ideas.**

**-IWriteNaked**


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry I couldn't update yesterday. This week is a little mixed up.**

**WARNING: This chapter is wildly inappropriate. Contains (two) lemons, and creepy themes. Read at your own risk.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments. I'm just dicking around.**

-Clary Fray-

Jace leads me gingerly through our bedroom door. The room has been decorated to look like a cliche honeymoon suit. Rose petals. Champagne and candles. Strawberries and chocolate. Jace rolls his eyes at the changes to the room, and I laugh humorlessly. _Your marriage must be consummated, Clarissa. _Valentine's voice rings in my ear, and I turn to the bottle of champagne, taking a long drink from it.

Jace watches me through hooded eyes. "Well this is... Tacky." he admits.

I half smile, blowing air from my mouth in that silent laugh you do when something is only almost funny. "Can we blow out the candles?" I ask, thinking of the way my mother always covered the apartment in scented candles during power outages. _I don't want to be reminded of home right now._

Jace nods, leaning over several candles, extinguishing them with several gusts of wind from his lips that are forming the shape of an 'o'. Once all of the candles are out, their glow no longer cutting through the blackness, I'm not sure if we should turn the light on or not. I don't even know what's going on, honestly.

Jace clicks on the lamp on the nightstand, and he smiles. "You look beautiful." He says, and I turn away from him, my eyes downcast. Images of yesterday infiltrate my vision. His hands. Skin. Breathing. I blink away tears, taking another drink of champagne. When Jace puts his hands on my hips, I don't even notice. It isn't until my dress falls to the floor that I come back to the present and try to push him off.

His jacket and his shirt have been abandoned. Jace sighs at my reluctance, and pushes my back against the wall, like last time. It's cool against my bare skin.

His eyes say he's sorry better than his voice ever could. "Clary, please." He begs me to just cooperate this time. I am aware that it would be easier for both of us, but the thought of giving myself to him willingly leaves a sour taste in my mouth.

I _try _to stay calm and wait until it's over, but my body is acting without my permission, and I continue to fight him. I find myself under him again, pinned to the bed. All of our clothing have been discarded, and he's _doing things _with his hands. My body continues to act without my permission, and a small moan escapes my lips. Even though I'm still trying to get away, he smiles. He knows exactly what he's doing to me, and he's gotten the response he wanted. _I want him and he knows it. _He enters me as gently as he possibly can, but I never stop fighting despite my growing desire.

-Sebastian Verlac-

I watch them on the screen, disgusted. He has his hands on her. He slides his lips across her flawless body, and I hate him. When he enters her I am filled with molten fury. _That should be me._

My father told me he would give me and woman I wanted. When I asked for Clary, he said _"anyone but her." _He said she is not a suitable wife for me. I asked him why, but he refused to tell me any viable answer. _"You will understand soon enough." _he'd told me. But I don't. I will never understand why he would tell me I can have any woman I ask for, and deny me the only one I've ever wanted for more than just sex.

Clary is trying desperately to push Jace off of her, but she is very small. Her nails leave angry red lines down his back and chest. She's sunken her teen into any piece of flesh that has gotten too close to her face. She is full of fight, and it only makes me want her more.

I should be the one bearing the marks from her struggle. My skin should be under her nails, not that pompous asshole's. She should be my wife. I could fuck her better than Jace could. I could produce stronger children. I am _better _for Clary than Jace is. My father doesn't see it, but Clarissa will soon enough.

On the screen, Jace's movements are slow, like he's trying very hard not to hurt her. _He's pathetic. _Clary's breath is ragged with grunts, crying out every time Jace pushes into her again. It's hard to tell if she's enjoying it or if she's in pain. Maybe both.

They're both covered in a light glaze of sweat when he rolls off of her. He watches her apologetically as she rolls onto her side, curls into a ball, and her body is wracked with sobs.

-Clary Fray-

Cords of moonlight stream in the window, stretching across Jace's naked chest. The only sound in the room is his faint, but steady breathing. He's been asleep for well over an hour. The ridged truth is that the sex was... Different from before. The pain blurred into pleasure, but I never gave in. I fought every second of it.

The silence becomes too heavy for my fingertips to hold on to any longer. Silently, I creep out the door, across the hall toward the music room, hoping they have a guitar. I'm not very good, but Jonathan was teaching me to play. I can figure something out. I just crave the noise.

My feet come to a halt involuntarily outside of the music room. The soft melody of a guitar sounds on the other side of the door. I push it open gingerly.

The boy creating the lovely sound is sitting on a stool, facing away from me. When the door clicks shut the music stops, and his head shoots up, but he hesitates for a second before turning around. "Clarissa." he says, meeting my eyes.

"Sebastian." I greet him, casually.

"It's your wedding night. Why are you not with your groom?"

I glance down at the acoustic in his lap. It's beautiful. Jon would've admired it. "I couldn't sleep, and he's passed out." I answer, sheepishly.

Sebastian stands, placing the guitar on it's stand. He smiles. Maybe I should smile too, but I can't bring myself to fake contentment. "You look at me as if you've never seen a boy before, Clarissa."

"You look just like my brother." I blurt, in a rush.

Sebastian smiles again, and this time I return it. "You miss him." he states, tenderly.

I nod. "Very much."

"What if I told you that you could ring him..." Sebastian takes a step toward me. "If you do something for me."

"I'll do anything." I tell him, supporting myself against the wall.

Sebastian's eyes fall, outlining my body. He takes three measured steps, and he's right in front of me, placing his hands against the wall on each side of my head. "You are intelligent, and attractive, and I want to make you moan my name." I look away from his face, the familiar warmth of a blush creeping into my cheeks. "I want you to hold my name between your teeth." he tucks my hair behind my ear. "I want to hear you wrap your lips around each syllable, only to feel you tremble as you speak."

My voice turns to butter. "I'll do anything." I repeat. _I will do anything to speak to my brother. To tell him I'm okay._

His hand trickles down my thigh, and his devilish grin brings my blood to boil. "Follow me." he whispers in my ear, and I can hear the smile in his voice.

He leads me to the only vacant room on this level. It looks un-lived in, but contains basic guest room furniture. Most importantly: A bed.

Sebastian approaches me, placing two hands on my lower back. He's so close I can see the shine of stars in his eyes and the moonlight that glows beneath his skin. He is warm and hard against my stomach. I lean into his length. His fingertips trail down my spine to the waistband of my pajamas. They fall to the floor as I reach for his shirt, lifting it over his head. He's lean and sexy. His skin is pale, and I wonder briefly if he's ever seen the sun.

I keep my eyes away from his face, very uncomfortable with his resemblance to the brother I've grown up with. I let instinct take over, sliding my mouth across his body. his hands go into my hair, pulling me away from his chest. His lips start moving closer to mine, and he looks at me the way I've often seen Luke look at the moon.

Sebastian takes my bottom lip between his teeth in the same way I sometimes do with a pen while inspecting a drawing. I sigh into his mouth, enjoying the feeling of his wandering hands. His scent makes my head spin. He ducks his head, running his cool lips over the sensitive skin on the exposed part of my chest. I bury my face in his dark hair. It smells like the mint tea tree shampoo you find in the organic department at our local grocery store.

My shirt is lifted over my head, leaving my hair in a frizzy mess, and his lips are on mine. We walk carefully, still kissing passionately, to the bed. My back connects with a soft mattress. Sebastian hooks his thumbs into both his jeans and his underwear, yanking both off at the same time.

He lowers himself onto me, his hands supporting his weight on either side of my head. Sebastian doesn't hesitate. He enters me with a charge of electricity. "Oh God." I gasp. "Sebastian." I say, remembering his words from earlier. _I want to make you moan my name._

I lose myself inside the space between his arms. The collision of our bodies in time with our heartbeats, hitting like flint and stone. The sound rings in the space between us. His mouth. My skin. I've said God's name enough times to get into Heaven. His lips trickle down my neck, nipping lightly at first and then biting down hard.

I return his enthusiasm. They could dust our bodies for fingerprints and find nothing but claw marks and the places our teeth dug into bare skin.

He holds my body against his, and I moan his name into his mouth. I can feel the smile in his kiss. My hands twist into the sheets, and Sebastian smirks down at me. "You're even better than I imagined."

I'm surprised to find myself smirking back at him. Surprised to be glad that it's good for him too. Overall, surprised at how much I'm enjoying this. "So are you." I breathe into his neck. I hear him chuckle, but hardly acknowledge it. My body is drown in waves of pleasure, and I know that I'm getting close. "Sebastian." I gasp. "I'm gonna..." I trail off, too embarrassed to actually say it. His hands go into my hair again.

"Good girl." His voice is raspy, and his breathing is heavy. Our lips meet in a thunder crash, and our lightning lights up the sky. Sebastian collapses beside me, and we lay in the aftershock. "Damn." he breathes out, smiling.

He leans over the edge of the bed, pulling something from his jeans on the floor. "You may call your brother. They can't trace the phone, so don't bother." I take his cell phone from his hands, catching my breath before dialing.

"Hello?" My brothers voice is gravelly and sad, like he's been crying. Or sleeping. Probably the latter.

"Hey, Slick." I say, choking back tears.

"Slim?" I smile at the nickname. _Slick and Slim. Jon and Clary. _"Is that you? Where are you? I'll come get you right now." I hear rustling on the other end of the phone. He's moving around.

"Yeah, it's me. I don't know where I am, and you can't come get me." Sebastian snorts.

"Who's with you?" Jon asks, probably having heard the noise Sebastian made.

"That's Sebastian. He's... _nice._" I say, for lack of a better word. "Do you remember seeing the missing teens on the news?" Jon makes a noise that means yes. "They've got me. But I'm okay..." I pause, taking a deep breath. "I just miss you."

"I miss you too, Slim." Jon says. "What can you tell me about where you are? I'll tell the cops."

"I don't know anything." I admit, though even if I did I wouldn't be able to say it with Sebastian right here.

"What about names?" Jon pushes.

"Fairchild." I tell him. Sebastian looks at me strangely. "I love you. Verlac. Mogenstern." I say the last two in a rush, before Sebastian pulls the phone away from me.

"Clary has to go now." and Sebastian hangs up. "They won't find you." he says, pulling me back into his arms. I pull away. "Get dressed. We should really get you back to your husband."

I creep back into the room, and into the shower, suddenly feeling very dirty for doing the deed with Sebastian. I feel even weirder about enjoying it, especially since he looks so much like my brother. But I did it _for _my brother. So I could tell him I'm alive...

After I've scrubbed away the grime that both Jace and Sebastian have left on my skin, I climb back into bed. "Clary?" Jace rolls over. "Where did you go?" he asks, groggily.

"I couldn't sleep." I answer, but he's already asleep.

**Okay, just to clear things up: This is NOT a Clabastian Fic. It was just part of the plot. This is still a Clace Fic.**

**Sorry to anyone who's angry at me for making Clary bang Sebastian, but if Sebastian Verlac said that jazz to me I'd be like "Yes please."**

**Anyways. I don't know how to write Lemons, so review and let me know if it was okay? Too poetic? Not vulgar enough? I don't know. Thanks.**

**-IWriteNaked**


	5. Chapter 5

**Okay, a lot of you are mad at me.**

**IMPORTANT QUESTION IN THE AUTHORS NOTE AT THE BOTTOM.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments.**

-Clary Fray-

_He brings death, famine and pestilence. He slithers in the shadows, and he is the wind that brings doom. My nightmare is his heaven, and his only joy in life is to see blood spill. As it sparkles in the moonlight for but a brief moment, before becoming one with the soil._

_He is passionate about nothing other than destruction. His victims become one with the nothingness, and he becomes one with the night. Petty strife, and laughable pride. All such foolishness._

_He will reign destruction over all of this beast called society. "Why do we cling to life and rebuild our hopes when nothing but destruction is to be the prize of our work?" he asks, his shoulders broad and confident._

_Love. Life. Hope. what are these things? And where are they going? These things... He will destroy._

I shoot straight up, breathing heavily. _It's only a dream. It's only a dream. _Light streams through the window, casting shadows against the wall. I hear Jace chuckle, and his finger runs over a mark on my shoulder. I relish the memory of Sebastian's teeth sinking into my skin. "That's new." Jace says, amused.

I can feel myself turning an unattractive shade of red. He raises one eyebrow, and I am immediately jealous. I've never been able to do that, no matter how hard I try. "Well, I hope you enjoyed yourself with... Whoever." Jace teases.

I put my face in my hands, half out of embarrassment, and half because I'm still recovering from the nightmare I've been having all my life. "You're not mad?" I ask, but it comes out muffled in my hands. I uncover my face, and turn to look at him.

"Why would I be mad?" he asks. "It's not like either of us chose this. You don't owe me anything." Jace's serious expression morphs into something else entirely. "And I'm apparently not doing it for you. Which quite frankly confuses me. I mean, look at all of this." He gestures to his chest, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

He's joking and despite how inappropriate it may be to joke about this, I laugh. I've always liked dark humor. "Is it Jordan or Simon?" Jace asks, still smirking.

"What?"

"Well, Alec and Magnus are gay. So that leaves Jordan and Master Splinter. If it's Simon, I might cry that you'd choose him over me." Jace grins. "Also, you've been here for like two days. How do you have a man on the side already?"

I giggle, despite myself. "It's not like that."

"Oh, it's Isabelle or Maia?" Jace jokes, his grin wider than before.

"Sebastian." I confess.

Jace sucks a breath in through his teeth. "You're sleeping with _Verlac? _Seriously?" He isn't joking anymore. He is angry with me.

"It's not like that." I repeat.

"No? What's it like then, Clary? I'm only doing what I have to do in order to keep you alive, and you _fight _me. I can't _blame _you for that. But then you give it up _willingly _to Sebastian _fucking _Verlac?" He shot up out of the bed in the middle of his lecture with a disgust masking his handsome features.

"He said I could call my brother if I did it." I whisper into the space between us, but the words never reach him. I keep my eyes downcast, refusing to look him in the eye.

"What?" He asks, annoyance evident in his voice.

I speak louder this time. "He said he would let me call my brother if I did it." I look up at him and his eyes widen.

"Did he really let you?" I nod. "What did you tell him? Your brother, I mean." His voice is softer now, his anger less noticable.

"That I miss him." I admit. "I couldn't say much. Sebastian was there. I told him three last names, before Sebastian took the phone away."

"Which names did you tell him?" Jace laughs, rolling his shoulders.

"Fairchild, Morgenstern and Verlac." Jace sinks back into the bed. "Two names Valentine has called me, and Sebastian's name." I explain.

"So..." Jace hesitates. "Was the sex good?" He's back to the way he was. All casual, and smug. "Or is that what your nightmare was about?"

"By the angel." I mutter, placing my head between my knees.

Jace chuckles. "That good, huh?"

"I am not going to talk to you about this!" I laugh and punch his arm.

"Hey, I just want to make sure that my _wife _is sexually satisfied." He throws his hands up in mock surrender. His face turns serious. "He didn't hurt you, did he?" His eyes flicker to the bite mark on my shoulder.

"No more than you did." I answer, coldly.

I think I see hurt flash in his eyes, but it's gone as quickly as it appeared. I regret saying it. He leans into me, his breath on my neck. His voice is low and rough when he says "I could make it better for you, if you'd let me."

Jace presses his lips to the skin just below my ear, and electricity shoots down my spine. I shiver, and suck in a breath between my teeth. "Stop."

Jace chuckles, his breath still on my neck. "You didn't bite me this time, so I'll take that as a maybe." He pulls away from me, and I chomp my teeth at him, teasingly. "Unless, of course, you're stuck on Sebastian after your throws of passion last night." Jace jokes.

I turn my head to look at him. He's got his head down, his lips half smiling. "No." I say. "I don't even like him. I just wanted to tell my brother that I'm okay." Jace nods, the smile falling from his face.

"What's wrong?" I ask, placing my hand on his shoulder.

He shakes his head, the smile returning. "Nothing."

"You're a terrible liar." I laugh.

Jace sighs. "I hate Sebastian."

"Clearly." I mutter. "The two of you spent enough time glaring at each other."

"He's creepy and rude!" Jace defends.

"He looks like my brother."

He laughs. "You slept with someone who looks like your brother? That's weird, Clary." Jace shakes his head, and my face turns red. "And you liked it!" Jace leans against the pillow, laughing uproariously.

"Shut up!" I yell over the sound of his laughter.

He quiets down, but the amused look doesn't leave his face. "You're not denying it."

I'm positive that my entire face is flushed of color entirely. "You're a pervert."

"Yes, and you fucked Verlac, so who's really the guilty one here?" He erupts into another howl of laughter, running his hand through a mess of golden curls.

"Still you." I murmur.

"What was your nightmare about?"

I freeze. "Nothing."

"You're a terrible liar." Jace mocks my tone from earlier when I used the same words against him. "Tell me."

"I don't know... Just... A man. I haven't seen his face. I wake up before then." I pause, taking a deep breath. "I've been having it since I was little."

Jace frowns. "Are you okay?"

I close my eyes, trying to remember the words to the song Jonathan sang last time I had this dream. "Yeah. I don't want to talk about it."

**Sorry it's short. It's just a filler chapter, because I didn't know what to write.**

**To the SEVERAL people who sent me PM's where they cursed at me for making Clary sleep with Sebastian: Rude.**

**IMPORTANT: I originally intended for Clary's brother, Jonathan, to be kidnapped next. Now.. I'm not sure. Do you guys want him to be? Let me know, I'm just going to go with the most popular vote.**

**Review!**

**-IWriteNaked**


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry in advance for a very long authors note.**

**To Cherry Tropay Venturi: I would love to answer your questions, but your PM is disabled.**

**To the Guest who said I was "Saying it's a Clace fic to have a lot of readers": That doesn't even make sense. Brushing up on your reading comprehension may be beneficial. Clary clearly stated that she doesn't like Sebastian. You don't have to have feelings for someone in order to enjoy sex with them. So, Sebastian is good in bed. It isn't really a big deal.**  
**I'm sorry you feel that way, but I've clearly stated that this is a Clace fic. It doesn't have to be black and white. They just met, she doesn't owe him anything. Clary belongs to herself, and she can do what she wants. Thanks for reviewing.**

**To the Guest who said "Clary is bipolar": She really isn't. She's smart and understands that Jace is a victim as well. She isn't mad at him. She's been thrown into a difficult situation, and doesn't know how to deal with it.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments. I'm just dicking around.**

-Jace Wayland-

It's nice to see her smile, genuinely. One day I'd like to make her smile at me the way she's smiling at Izzy right now. Whenever she meets eyes with me they harbor the memory of things I've dons to her.

I watch the way she talks dominantly with the right side of her mouth, as she and Izzy speak quietly about God-knows-what from across the room. I don't even notice Alec making his way toward me until he speaks. "How was your wedding night?" he snickers.

I shake my head. "She hates me."

"We all hated each other when we first got here." Alec reminds me, bumping my shoulder with his. "She'll warm up to you."

I blow air from between my lips. "You're all deranged." I tell him, finally prying my eyes away from Clary. "Verlac let her call her brother last night."

Alec's eyes go wide. "What?!"

"Last night he told her she could call her brother if she slept with him." Alec starts to say something, but I put my hand up to stop him. "She agreed. She told her brother their names."

"Do you think they'll find us?" he asks, glancing at Clary and Isabelle who are looking at something in her sketchbook.

"I don't know. It's the first time any of us have been able to do anything like that."

"Can't we use that? I mean, Sebastian likes her, right? She could get more information to the police." Alec's voice comes out in a hushed tone.

"No." I say too loudly. I quiet down and say "I'm trying to keep her safe. You know what Sebastian does to girls. _He could hurt her." _I shake my head, furiously. "I'm not going to risk her safety like this."

My best friend looks taken back. "Since when are you keeping people safe? You want out of here more than anyone."

"You don't understand, Alec." I growl, turning away from him and leaving the library.

As usual, the music room is vacant. No one else has the time for music, I guess. I sit on the bench in front of the piano, where I've spent a large portion of the last three years. My fingers flit expertly over the keys, but even I don't hear the harmony they produce.

_Flashback_

_"I don't even know her name!" I yelled over the sound of a crying brunette rocking back and forth in the corner. "And you expect me to consummate a marriage I never agreed to?! You're fucking crazy."_

_"I advise you to do as I say, Jace Wayland." My captor said coldly over the speaker that hung from the wall. "And your brides name is Eskil Durrand."_

_"She is not my bride!" The anger I felt blocked out the sound of Eskil humming soothingly to herself. "The first time I saw her was when she walked down the isle. And she doesn't want to have sex either! What am I supposed to do? Force her?" My voice cracked at the end._

_"Yes." The man said, simply. "If you don't consummate your marriage, there is no reason she should be here. She's of no use to me." I thought he sounded uninterested. I was wrong._

_"Let her go home then." I told him, sinking down onto the bed. "I won't hurt her."_

_Just as I finished speaking, two men entered the room. I'd never seen them before, and haven't since. "We have no problem hurting her."one of them said, showing off his rotting teeth. From years of drug use, undoubtedly. "Hold the boy back, Blackwell."_

_I tried to escape Blackwell's grip, but at the time he was much bigger than I was. "Pangborn, should I take him elsewhere?" Blackwell asked, tugging me toward the door._

_"No." Pangborn interrupted his efforts to remove me. "He should see what happens when he disobeys."Pangborn grabbed Eskil by her wavy brown hair. Her eyes were glass, caught somewhere between blue and green. They never left me through everything they did to her._

_I should've just done it. They did what I was supposed to do. I could have at least been nicer about it than they were. And Eskil would have lived._

_When they were satisfied, they shot her. Brain matter, fragments of her skull, and blood decorated the wall for hours, until I lifted myself from the place I'd fallen to the floor and scrubbed it away from the fresh layer of paint._

_End flashback._

"You're very good." a taut voice says when I stop playing. I look up to find Clary, leaned against the door, her hoodie pulled tightly around her torso. "Alec told me what you said."

I mutter the word "Traitor." under my breath.

"I don't hate you." Clary moves away from the door. "This is just really..." she trails off.

"Complicated?" I offer.

She nods, taking another step toward me. "I don't know how to feel. I'm not mad at you. I'm just mad in general. I know you don't want to be here any more than I do." She walks slowly across the room, and sits beside me on the piano bench. She looks down, shaking her head.

"What?"

"I don't know anything about you." She answers, still looking at the floor. "And we're kind of stuck together, so maybe we should try to be friends."

"Being friends sounds nice." I exhale all of the negative feeling from the episode I was having before Clary came in. "I don't know anything about you either." I lie. I know a lot of things about her. Valentine keeps it all in a file, which he made me read.

She laughs humorlessly. "I'm an open book."

I smile, looking into her radiant eyes. "Tell me your deepest secrets." I joke.

"I'll tell you mine, if you tell me yours." Clary half smiles.

-Clary Fray-

Jace raises one eyebrow at me. "Secret number one." I start. "I'm really jealous that you can do that with your eyebrow."

He arches his brow more severely. "This?" he teases, flashing a dazzling smile. There's a chip in one of his teeth, but they're flawless other than that. "My name isn't really Jace." he admits.

"What is it?"

"Jonathan Christopher Wayland." My breath catches in my throat. "It started out as JC, but people are so lazy it eventually shortened to Jace." I blink several times, trying to hold back tears. _Jonathan Christopher Fray._

_Pull it together, Clary. _"Um..." I start, brilliantly. "I have seen all six seasons of both Xena: Warrior Princess and Hercules: Legendary Journeys. Cheesy as they are, I enjoyed them."

Jace laughs, shaking his head. "That is ridiculous."

"Hey, no judgements!" I complain.

"Sorry." Jace says, still snickering. "When I was small, I asked my father if I could bathe in spaghetti."

"What." is all I can say without laughing.

"Hey, no judgements!" Jace mocks my tone.

"Okay, okay." I shake my head. "I don't have any real secrets." I admit.

Jace's eyes roll over my face. "Yes you do." I try, and fail, to raise one eyebrow. "I read your file. I know way too much about you."

"File?" I ask, popping my knuckles one at a time. Bad habit. "You said you didn't know anything about me." I point out.

Jace shrugs, placing his fingers on the keys of the piano. "I lied. They gave me a file with everything they know about you, before you got here."

I inhale sharply. "what does it say?"

"Clarissa Adele Fray. 16 years old. One brother named Jonathan Christopher Fray." I flinch at Jonathan's name, and Jace smiles sadly. "You love him more than anything." I nod, and he continues. "Your favorite band is Go Radio, and you were very upset when they broke up last year. You like Alien Nation and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. You're an artist, like your mother." Jace chuckles. "I'll skip over the more... Highly personal things they wrote in it."

i groan. "Oh, by the Angel. I don't want to hear any more. It's creepy."

**Not really happy with this chapter, but I wanted to update.**

**I haven't decided about Jonathan coming in or not yet, but if he does it will not be for a while.**

**Review!**

**-IWriteNaked**


	7. Chapter 7

**Okay, I just need to say that there's a difference between constructive criticism, and just being an asshole. Some of you are crossing the line. If you don't like the story, it won't hurt either of us if you stop reading it. Thanks.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal instruments. I'm just dicking around.**

-Clary Fray-

I keep my head down, laboring over a new sketch. Thankfully the library is empty.

Lanky arms. Stooping posture, and a stocky build. Prominent, ashen cheekbones and a strong jaw line. Winged eyelashes and a quizzical brow. Fierce, soulful eyes. Square tipped, skeletal fingers placed delicately against his temples. Mangled dirty blond hair, and chapped lips. _The boy from our apartment complex._

I ache for familiarity. The feeling of comfort and home.

The chair across the table from me drags back with a screech against the linoleum. "It is nice to see you again, Clarissa."

My entire body stiffens, and I look up with only my eyes. "Hello, Sebastian." His hair is disheveled, and his black eyes are sunken. His bottom lip is cracked open, and looks like it was recently bleeding.

He leans his elbows on the table, a small smile causing the cut to break open and bleed again. "It's been a while." His voice is toneless.

I nod. It hasn't really been long at all. The wedding night was the night before last. I've been away from home for three nights now. It's the longest I've ever been away from Jonathan and my mother. "You're bleeding." I tell him casually, watching a thin line of crimson creep lazily from his lip.

He dabs at it with his sleeve. "Courtesy of Mr. Jace Wayland." Sebastian explains, reproachfully.

I finally lift my head, looking into his unblinking eyes. "You got in a fight with Jace?" I scoff.

Sebastian shakes his head. "Fighting would imply that I participated."

I find myself shaking my head as well. "He just hit you?"

"Correct."

"Why?" I close the sketchbook, placing it out of Sebastian's view.

Sebastian smirks. "I make him angry."

"Evidently." I say, pointing to his bleeding lip.

Sebastian stands from his hair, and walks around the table to sit beside me. I move my chair slightly in the opposite direction. He frowns.

His index finger traces patterns across my back. I inhale sharply, and pull away from him. "Hey, it's okay." he says thickly. "Just relax, Clary." he whispers in my ear. His breath is hot on my neck.

I stand up abruptly. "You're making me uncomfortable."

Sebastian raises an eyebrow. _God fucking damnit. Can everyone do that, but me?! _"You didn't seem too _uncomfortable _last time I saw you." He reaches for me, but I step back nearly tripping over my chair in the process. Sebastian stands quickly, grabbing my arm to keep me from falling. His grip is too tight and will probably leave a bruise in the shape of his fingers. His eyes burn into mine, and he pushes me _hard _into the nearest bookshelf. his forearm pinned across my collar bone. I try to move, but he presses against me harder.

His lips begin to move toward mine, but I turn my head to the side, and they end up colliding with my cheek. He doesn't take the hint. Instead, he starts kissing down my neck. "Sebastian, stop."

His mouth trails lightly across my jaw line. "Why should I?"

I push against his chest, but he doesn't budge. "Because I asked you to."

"You seemed to enjoy it last time." Sebastian says, pressing into me harder. "What changed your mind?"

I exhale, trying to push him off of me. "You had something I wanted last time."

Sebastian's smile widens. "I think I still do." he says seductively, putting his hand in my hair.

"You don't."

Sebastian flips me around, pushing me into the shelf. He is warm and hard against my back, and I know that saying 'No' is not enough to make him stop. He isn't doing this to keep me alive, like Jace is. He's doing this because he's been taught that everything and everyone is at his disposal. I don't believe in lost causes, but I believe that Sebastian Verlac is more lost than I am. "Are you sure?"

I can smell his breath in my hair. I yank my head back as hard as I can. My skull collides with his jaw, and he stumbles back. I don't wait. I bolt out the door, letting it swing open behind me.

After entering the bedroom, I lock the door behind me just in case. Jace looks at me questioningly. "Locked door? Are you coming on to me?" He jokes.

I do my best to fake a laugh. "No."

He shrugs. "That's unfortunate. Those jeans look fantastic on you."

I roll my eyes. "I'm not really in the mood for jokes right now, Jace." I snap at him, sinking down onto the bed.

Jace sits up. "What's wrong?"

"I'm just having a..." I wrack my brain for the right word, but come up empty handed. "Weird day." I settle.

"Sebastian?"

"Yeah." I answer. "He's not being very nice." It's an understatement, but I don't want to explain.

"Did he hurt you?" Jace is immediately serious. "I already hit him once today, but I won't hesitate to do it again."

"I'm fine." I tell him, and I wonder if he can hear the uncertainty in my voice.

Jace is about to respond when he's cut off by a cold voice. "Mr. and Mrs. Wayland. I expect you're enjoying your time together as newly weds." Something in his voice suggests that he knows this isn't true.

"Oh, it's swell." Jace's tone drips with apathy. "We're madly in love." His tone matches the emptiness that I feel.

"And you, Mrs. Wayland? How are you adjusting to your new life?" I shake my head, refusing to participate in the conversation.

"You may want to keep your son on a leash." Jace growls, and I can't help but think that maybe he belongs on a leash as well.

"What are you talking about, Jace?" Valentine asks, coolly.

"Sebby has been enjoying Clary a little too much." Jace glances at me, amusement masking his features.

Valentine sighs, like he's disappointed in us. "Mr. Wayland, I will see to it that my son is properly punished. I suggest you satisfy your wife's desires, so she does not need to have them fulfilled elsewhere." Valentine finishes, and my heart rate doubles. _Not again..._

"I would rather not..." Jace protests.

"Now, Mr. Wayland." Valentine demands.

_Fuck._

**Review!**

**To Kelly: I was wondering where you'd been! I hope it all gets sorted out soon!**

**-IWriteNaked**


	8. Chapter 8

**I'm sorry I couldn't update yesterday. I know I was supposed to, but we were reformatting our computer.**

**To Hakuna Matata: Happy birthday!**

-Clary Fray-

I do not know what making love is. All I know is how to be fucked. Jace reaches for me, and I want to look him dead in the eye, but all I can do is stare down at feet that don't feel like mine. I pull away from him involuntarily. He sighs. "Clary..." he says my name tremulously.

"Jace." I retort, wryly.

he scoots sideways, wrapping his arms around my waist. Jace buries his face in my hair, and every muscle in my body tenses so hard that I start to shake violently. He pulls me into his chest, wrapping both arms around me. I scream and fight, but he just holds me. I try to swallow the lump in my throat, but it remains relentlessly.

I'm not sure when my screams faded into gasping cries of rage. My fists weaken, giving up on hurting him. My hands uncurl, and they ache in the way your joints do when they've been out of use for too long. Jace whispers soothingly to me, but it doesn't help. _Now isn't the best time for a breakdown, Clary._

_Flashback_

_"Shh, Clary. It's okay." Jonathan pulled me into his lap, rubbing soothing circles up and down my back. "It's just a dream. It isn't real."_

_I made a fist, clutching his t-shirt. "Jon-" I tried to tell him how real it felt, but I couldn't breathe._

_"It's okay, Slim." My brother speaks softly, trying not to wake Luke and our mother in the next room over. "I'm here."_

_I felt so lost in a fog, fantaszing about one day sleeping through the night. I trembled forcibly, my face buried in Jon's shoulder. "I'm scared." I whispered weakly._

_"I've got you. There's nothing to be afraid of." Jon comforted me, and everything slowly started to go back to normal. My fears retreated to some far away place._

_"Sing me a song, Slick." I requested, my eyelids already beginning to close. He sang _Let It All Out _by Relient K, and no negative vibes could remain, because when my brother sang to me I knew that nothing could hurt me. For me, Jon represented bravery and safety. It didn't matter if there were monsters hiding somewhere in my room, when Jon was stronger than anything trying to hurt me._

_End Flashback._

Thinking of Jon calmed me down, and I manage to unclench my jaw. Slowly, I stop shaking and I start to feel better. Until I realize that I'm still pressed into Jace's chest. When I try to move away from him, his arms tighten around me. "Jace," I complain "let go."

He does not comply. Jace nuzzles his nose against the nop of my head. "You smell like rain." I'm trying to be tough, but the events of the last several days are finally catching up with me. Jace's hand goes under my shirt, his fingers dancing tenderly across my lower back.

"Jace, don't."

He begins lifting the fabric over my head. Despite the struggle I put up, my shirt is flung across the room. "I have to." He removes his own shirt, revealing his _fucking perfect chest. _I'm trying _not _to have sex with him, and he's over there looking like that. Under normal circumstances I might have let him kiss me, but these aren't normal circumstances and kissing isn't all he's trying to do. "I'm sorry. Just... Close your eyes, and think of England if you like." I feel like I'm dragging dead weight with me, as I try to move away from him. He loosens his grip, but I suspect it was only because it's hard to remove your jeans with someone in your lap.

I struggle to keep my clothing on, but Jace is strong, and before I know it we're both naked, his weight pushing me into the mattress. His hands trickle down my thigh, tracing the bruises he left there. I feel like there are thorns under my skin, and I have that '_before tears_' burning in my throat. "Don't touch me." I beg.

He ignores me, moving further up my thigh. I think that maybe I could numb the burning inside of my chest, using the ice inside of his. Jace's fingers stimulate areas of my body that have been labeled as '_Private Parts'. _I think I hate myself more than I hate him. My hands push at his wrists, trying to get them away. In one swift motion, he's got my hands pinned above my head. His lips press roughly against mine. He groans into my mouth, and his breath is sweet. "Stop." I try to say, but it's muffled against his mouth. My head jerks to the side, removing his lips from mine. "Stop." I repeat.

"I can't stop, Clary." I gasp when he enters me, and a small smile appears on his lips.

-Jace Wayland-

_Oh my God. _I close my eyes, imagining for a moment that I'm with a woman who actually wants me. Clary makes small involuntary noises every time I thrust into her. I think it might feel good for her, but that's not consent. I want her to be okay with it. Want it, even. _Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. She feels good. _Clary winces when I go in too far. "Sorry. Are you okay? Is there anything I can do to make you more comfortable?" I mentally slap myself for getting carried away and hurting her. _Good going, Jace. It's not hard enough for her already._

"You could stop." Clary suggests, flatly. Her nose wrinkles, slightly. The light dusting of freckles across her nose and cheekbones is really cute.

I wish that I could stop. I don't like forcing myself on her, but Eskil _died _because of _me. _I'm not taking any chances with Clary. "It will be over soon." I tell her, releasing her hands. Instantly, she begins pushing at my chest, digging her nails into my skin. I don't tell her that I kind of like it.

"I doubt that." Clary says timidly. She isn't talking about this particular time. She means this whole situation. And she's right. It probably won't be over soon. It might never end. We could die here.

"Try to relax." I suggest, gently curling one of her small fists in mine. Her eyes are big, and they sparkle with apathy. I try to kiss her, and she turns away. I sigh, but I'm not surprised. She doesn't want to be kissed. Not by me, at least.

I quicken my pace, trying to just finish so I can let her up. She gasps, digging her nails into me again, but she's not trying to push me away anymore. The pace of her breathing changes, and she starts trying to get away from me again, with more determination than ever.

I pin her down, never losing my rhythm. _Fuck. _Clary whimpers. "Am I hurting you?" She doesn't answer. Her eyes are wide, and her breathing is heavy. She's squirming frantically beneath me, trying to get away. _By the Angel. Is she...? _Her body tenses up, a small moan escaping her lips. Her eyes close tightly, and don't open again until after I've finished and pulled out of her.

**Sorry it's short. Running out of time. I'll probably have another short update tomorrow, but I have very little time tomorrow as well.**

**Review.**

**-IWriteNaked**


	9. Chapter 9

**Happy Easter if you celebrate! Happy Sunday if you don't. Either way, I hope you're all having a fantastic day.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments.**

-Clary Fray-

In the shower, I try to wash the feeling of him off of me. My body remembers him, and I can't scrub the recognition away. Grapefruit body wash isn't harsh enough to melt away the path his fingers took when they traced across my skin.

When I finally step out of the shower the mirror is thickly coated with a layer of steam, and water drips from my hair, racing warmly down my bare skin. I'm startled by the sound of knuckles hitting the wood of the door three times. "Clary?" Jace calls. "Are you okay in there?"

I sigh. I may have spent a ridiculous amount of time in the shower. "I'm fine." I yell back to him, but I'm not so sure that it sounded convincing. I towel off, and put on a grey t-shirt along with grey pajamas that have colorful elephants all over them. I yank a brush through my mess of hair, and put it back in a french braid to get it out of my way.

Jace is lounging on the bed. He didn't manage to find the time in his busy schedule to put on a shirt. He's only wearing navy blue pajamas that hang low on his hips. _I guess the hour I spent in the shower wasn't long enough for him to get fully dressed. _I move my eyes away, and sit on the window seat. His eyes follow me as I cross the room. I try to form some kind of thought - something to say to him, but there's nothing to say. He's looking right at me, and I just want my voice back.

Jace shakes his head, blond curls falling over golden eyes. "I'm trying really hard not to joke about it."

I close my eyes, painfully embarrassed. I'd hoped he wouldn't mention anything that just happened, but of course Jace can't pass up the opportunity. There are too many jokes to be made about having brought me to the big O. "Please don't." I request, half laying down on the window seat, propped up on my elbows. The cushion is thick and soft.

Jace's expression isn't anything other than blank when he says "Don't be embarrassed."

I lift both eyebrows as far as they'll go. "I'm pretty embarrassed."

"Why?" He asks.

"Mostly because we're talking about it." I tell him, shaking my head.

Jace frowns. "Well, if I have to..." he pauses, looking for the right word "fuck you, I think you should at least get something out of it." I'm mildly taken back that '_fuck you_' is the way he chose to word it.

"How thoughtful." I mutter. "You know how to treat the ladies."

Jace chuckles. "You know that first hand."

I throw one of the decorative pillows from the window seat at him. "Don't be gross."

"I'm sorry." he apologizes, still smirking to himself. He throws the pillow back at me, and I let it fall to the floor after it smacks against my arm. His tawny eyes flick to my wrist, and he frowns again. "I hurt you." he says, his honey voice quavering.

I sit up, putting both hands in my lap. They're swollen, dark purple, and sore from where he held them. "Bruised wrists aren't really on the top of my worry list, Jace."

He nods. "Right, because I've hurt you in worse ways." I've never seen anyone look so sad, and I want to go to him, but I can't bring myself to get close to him. It's strange that he seems to be the one who needs comforting, and it's hard to remember that none of this is his fault. And he's been here for a lot longer, going through worse things than I am.

"It doesn't matter." I lie.

"It does matter, Clary." He sits up swiftly, swinging his long legs over the side of the bed. "Why can't you just be mad at me? Yell at me, and tell me how truly disgusting I am to you." His voice is on edge, but his face is relaxed in a neutral expression.

"Because it isn't your fault." I say quietly. "And I don't think I can be mat at you. I've tried." I move away from the window, sitting on the edge of the bed with my legs crossed.

"Stop acting like this doesn't hurt you." He spits_. I hadn't realized that I was acting like it doesn't hurt me. I'm just trying to be strong. _"I see the way you cringe any time I get near you. Don't pretend I haven't caused you to be terrified of men-"

"I'm not terrified of _men_." I interrupt. "I'm terrified of _you_." I didn't mean to say it.

For a moment, he just stares at me. I can see a small image of myself in his eyes, being reflected back at me. He nods. "I'm sorry." He whispers, because it's the only thing to say, and it won't change anything.

"No." I respond. "I'm sorry. I'm not like you. I can't turn things that hurt me into a joke. I can't just Jace my way through difficult situations." I sigh.

Jace smiles. "Did you just use my name as a verb?"

I laugh, despite myself and the sad pressure on my chest lightens a little. My hardened heart begins to soften. "It seemed to fit." I answer, finally. "Are we done fighting?"

He ducks his chin, keeping his eyes on me, sort of like when someone looks at you over the brim of their glasses. But Jace doesn't wear glasses, and the facial expression looks good on him. "Yeah, we're done fighting." He looks like he is going to say something else, but decides against it. "Let's go watch a movie. I'll even let you choose."

I force a smile. "I'm going to choose something you'll hate if you let me pick."

Jace chuckles. "I'll suffer in silence. Scouts honor."

"That doesn't make sense." I point out. "You aren't a scout."

"I'll swear by them anyways."

**I have a question. A lot of you have asked about their files, wondering what's in them. I was thinking about writing out everyone's files, and posting them as a one shot. Just for the hell of it. It won't interfere with updating this story. Is that something you guys would be interested in? Let me know.**

**See you Wednesday.**

**-IWriteNaked**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10, already! **

**I strongly suggest that you listen to "Blood" by In This Moment. It kind of describes how Clary is feeling at this time. I kept it on repeat through this entire chapter. (Acoustic is suggested, but either is fine)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments or Blood by In This Moment. I'm just dicking around.**

-Clary Fray-

I gasp a strangled choke, throwing my body over the edge of the bed, trying to fall away from my nightmares. In my dream I was being taken, and I still couldn't make out his face. He'd thrown me down in a dank basement, landing on a lifeless Jace. I felt the deadness on his chest. He wasn't alive, and I couldn't even scream. The scariest part was how badly I needed him to be alive.

I peak over the edge of the bed, from the floor. Jace is watching me silently. I must have woken him when I fell out of bed. "I'm sorry." I whisper.

Jace moves his hand over his forehead, pushing hair away. "What are you doing down there?" he asks groggily, flopping back down onto his pillow.

I make no move to get back in the bed. "I fell." I offer simply, with no intention to elaborate. Jace groans, rolling over. I wait until it sounds like he's asleep to sneak out the door. _There's no way I'll fall asleep after that dream._

The music room is empty this time, thankfully. A black acoustic guitar sits in the middle of the room, on the stand where Sebastian left it. I lift it, carrying it carefully to the stool in the corner where I take a seat facing away from the door. It rests familiarly in my lap, just like the acoustic Jon was teaching me to play.

I run my fingers gingerly over the frets, placing then where Jon showed me for the start of this song.

**(Blood by In This Moment)**

**I hate you for the sacrifices you made for me.**

**I hate you for every time you ever bled for me.**

**I hate you for the way you smile when you look at me.**

**I hate you for never taking control of me.**

**I hate you for always saving me from myself.**

**I hate you for always choosing me and not someone else.**

**I hate you for always pulling me back from the edge.**

**I hate you for every kind word you ever said.**

**I'll bleed you dry now.**

**Blood, blood, blood!**

**Pump more through my veins!**

**Shut your dirty, dirty mouth,**

**I'm not that easy.**

**Blood, blood, blood!**

**Pump more through my veins!**

**I'm a dirty, dirty girl,**

**I want it filthy.**

**Blood, blood, blood!**

**Pump more through my veins!**

**Shut your dirty, dirty mouth,**

**I'm not that easy.**

**Blood, blood, blood!**

**Pump more through my veins!**

**I'm a dirty, dirty girl,**

**I want it filthy.**

**I love you for everything you ever took from me.**

**I love the way you dominate and you violate me.**

**I love you for every time you gave up on me.**

**I love you for the way you look when you lie to me.**

**I love you for never believing in what I say.**

**I love you for never once giving me my way.**

**I love you for never delivering me from pain.**

**I love you for always driving me insane.**

**I'll bleed you dry now.**

**Blood, blood, blood!**

**Pump more through my veins!**

**Shut your dirty, dirty mouth,**

**I'm not that easy.**

**Blood, blood, blood!**

**Pump more through my veins!**

**I'm a dirty, dirty girl,**

**I want it filthy.**

**Blood, blood, blood!**

**Pump more through my veins!**

**Shut your dirty, dirty mouth,**

**I'm not that easy.**

**Blood, blood, blood!**

**Pump more through my veins!**

**I'm a dirty, dirty girl,**

**I want it filthy.**

**(I hate you, I hate you, I love...)**

**Blood, blood, blood!**

**Pump more through my veins!**

**Shut your dirty, dirty mouth,**

**I'm not that easy.**

**Blood, blood, blood!**

**Pump more through my veins!**

**I'm a dirty, dirty girl,**

**I want it filthy.**

**Blood, blood, blood!**

**Pump more through my veins!**

**Shut your dirty, dirty mouth,**

**I'm not that easy.**

**Blood, blood, blood!**

**Pump mud through my veins!**

**I'm a dirty, dirty girl,**

**I want it filthy.**

**I hate you for every time you ever bled for me.**

I messed up the guitar several times, and go to start again when someone clears their throat behind me. I suppress a groan, my mouth goes dry and my heart leaps. I expect to find Sebastian behind me, but it isn't him. "Nice song." Jace says. His eyes are half closed, and his hair is disheveled. He still hasn't managed to put on a shirt, and the navy blue pajamas he put on while I was in the shower hang off his hips. They're plunging slightly in the middle, revealing an uncomfortable amount of skin. I'm not sure why this bothers me, since modesty is kind of out the window at this point.

He notices me staring and chuckles, causing his abdominal muscles to contract. I tear my eyes away. "You weren't supposed to hear that."

"I had to make sure you weren't with Sebastian again." Jace announces, eying me curiously.

"I'm not going to do it again. You don't need to worry about it."

Jace looks at the wall behind me, avoiding eye contact. "He won't stop just because you say no. That's not enough for him."

I actually laugh. The irony is ridiculous. "It's funny that you would say that."

Jace sucks in a breath, sharply. He looks genuinely wounded, and he speaks through gritted teeth. "It isn't the same thing."

"I know." I admit, remembering Sebastian's behavior in the library earlier. He isn't protecting anyone. He's doing whatever he wants, because he thinks he can.

"Why are you awake?" Jace quickly changes the subject. "It's 3:30 in the morning."

I shake my head, trying not to remember the dream. "I couldn't sleep."

"Did you have that nightmare again? Is that why you threw yourself out of bed?" Jace steps closer to me, taking the guitar from my hands. He sets it on the nearest stand, and I don't answer his question. He takes my hand in his, pulling me to my feet. "Answer my question." he presses, gently.

"Yes." I whisper.

Jace's shoulders slump, and he lets go of my hand. "What's wrong, Clary?" he asks quietly. I shove past him, making my way toward the door. He grabs my wrist, and I wince at the pressure on my bruises. "Clary." His eyes plead with me. Begging me to understand. And I do. I understand exactly why he's done everything, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.

The door slams loudly, the sound echoing off the walls. I whirl around, and there's Sebastian standing there smugly. "Hello Jace. Clary."

Jace's expression is unreadable. "Sebastian! Just the man we needed to speak to. We're having quite the predicament here. It's putting a strain on our happy marriage." Sebastian and I both look at him. "We need to settle a dispute."

"What are you-" Jace puts his hand up, silencing me. _Talking about _I add silently.

He turns to Sebastian. "Sebby, darling." Jace starts.

Sebastian snorts. "What do you need, Jace?"

"This is important. We need you to answer honestly." Jace's expression is what I've commonly refereed to as _the Ice Man. _He's unreadable, mysterious. Sebastian nods in agreement. "would you snuggle with Ryan Gosling?"

Sebastian doesn't even crack a smile when he says "Absolutely."

"See, Clary! I told you he would. Everyone would." Jace exclaims, happily.

"While this is all very amusing, I was hoping I could speak to Clary." Sebastian takes a step toward me and seductively adds "Alone." I take a step back, stumbling a little, but I regain my footing.

"I don't think Clary is interested." Jace protests. "Are you, Clary?" he asks me.

I'm about to tell them that Jace is right. I'm not interested. Sebastian interrupts me. "I think you're the one she's uninterested in." Jace shoots daggers at Sebastian. "She seemed very interested when we were together on _your _wedding night. You should have heard the way she moaned my name, as I brought her to higher peaks of ecstasy than you've ever even seen."

"Jace, let's just go." I beg. He ignores me.

"She isn't interested now, Sebby. Run along, she's spoken for." It annoys me a little that Jace said I'm spoken for. _I don't belong to him. I belong to me. _

"Why don't we just ask her?" Sebastian asks, turning toward me. "Tell us, Clary. Who's the better lover?"

I nearly choke on surprise. "Piss off, Sebastian." I choke out, after regaining my composure.

He reaches out, and takes my hand. I try to yank my hand away from him, but his grip is too tight. Sebastian brings my hand to his lips, smiling. He lets my hand drop, and finally leaves the room.

Jace makes a bizarre, annoyed sound after Sebastian is gone. "I'd get the biggest boner if he tripped and broke his stupid face."

"Oh my God." I breathe out.

Jace snickers. "Yeah, that's what women always say after I mention my boner."

I take several measured steps toward the door. "You are ridiculous.

Jace catches up to me in the hall, quickly. "Seriously though, I'm the better lover, right?"

I stop walking, just looking at him. _Why am I even surprised? _"I've had better." I lie.

-Morning-

I step out of the bathroom, my hair dripping onto my t-shirt. Jace throws a black piece of fabric at me. "Put this on." he says.

I unfold it. It's a ridiculously short black dress. "Why?!" I ask, feigning disgust.

"Because it will look good on you." He shrugs.

"And you're obviously a fashion icon." I joke, gesturing to his pajamas.

Jace grins. "The Gay Community loves me." He ducks his chin, looking at me through his eyelashes. My favorite of his expressions. "Izzy told me to make you wear it." he confesses. "She didn't tell me why."

I groan, making my way toward the door. "I'm going to go ask her." I step into the hallway, still in my pajamas. "Isabelle, open up!" I bang on her door.

Simon opens the door. "Hey, Clary. Izzy's in the shower. She should be out soon. Come in." Isabelle and Simon's room is set up the same as the room Jace and I share. But while our room is shades of blue and white, theirs is maroon and gold.

Simon and I sit on opposite ends of their window seat. "Well..." Simon mumbles. I look him in his awkward face, and can't help smiling. "Is there anything I can help you with? Or do you need Isabelle?" He asks.

I hold up the dress. "Why is Izzy trying to make me dress up?"

Simon laughs, warmly. "It isn't Izzy. Not this time, at least." I look at him questioningly. "Valentine is organizing something for today. He asked Iz to get you ready. He said you'd just wear jeans if she didn't help you."

I smile. "He's right about that."

**I've decided I am going to write the files. They're going to be written by Sebastian, because he did most of the stalking. I'll let you guys know when they're up, but it might be a while from now.**

**Review!**

**-IWriteNaked**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments. I just make them have sex.**

-Clary Fray-

"It's too short." I complain, pulling the uncomfortable dress down as far as it will go. It barely reaches the middle of my thighs, so it's not really leaving very much to the imagination. It's got a corset top, and it's extra flowy at the bottom. The high heeled lace up boots Isabelle chose for me make my legs look longer.

"You look great." Isabelle assures me, adjusting my curly hair a little.

"Do I have to wear these shoes? They're ridiculously high." I protest, flopping down onto her bed. My calves practically sigh in relief, and my feet ache.

"Clary, you're an entire foot shorter than Jace." Izzy points out, like I hadn't already noticed. "the shoes will make you closer to his height. Besides, they're only six inches."

I groan. "They're killing me already."

"Relax, Clary. We're all having dinner together. You'll be sitting down the entire time, so they won't even bother you." Izzy promises.

I wonder why my shoes matter, in that case, if they'll be buried under the table for the duration of my time wearing them. I don't ask her though. I just sigh, realizing that there's no point in arguing with Isabelle. I can't win. I'm stuck wearing these murderous shoes, and this too-revealing dress that leaves absolutely nothing to the imagination. I look like someone from the cover of a harlequin novel.

Isabelle slips her feet into a pair of shimmery silver heels, that match her silver bracelet and her medallion. She wears a plum colored dress. It's got thin straps, and stops just above her knees. _Why does she get to wear an appropriate dress, and I have to wear this?_

There's a knock at the door and Iz calls "It's open!" Maia walks slowly though the door, wearing a knee length blue dress.

She smiles, softening her hard expression. "You two look beautiful." Despite her stunning smile, I notice sadness in her shiny dark eyes, and a bruise on her neck in the shape of fingers. It's been covered by makeup, but it's still very visible. I wonder if Isabelle notices too. I glace at her, but she isn't looking at Maia.

I try to keep my eyes locked onto the stars that light up Maia's eyes, and I force a smile. "You look really pretty, too." It's the only thing I've said to Maia in my time here. She rarely leaves her room.

"Thank you, Clary." She says, her voice quiet and soft. "The guys are waiting in the hall." She says, turning to Izzy.

Isabelle nods. "We're ready." She grabs my hand, yanking me hard to my feet. I nearly fall over, unable to keep my balance in these stupid shoes. We walk single file into the hall. The boys are leaned beside each other on the wall across the hall. Maia keeps her eyes downcast when Jordan approaches her, linking their arms together.

Simon wraps his arms around Isabelle's waist, and I can see in her eyes that there's no place she would rather be than the space inside his arms.

Alec and Magnus walk toward the stairwell, hand in hand. All of the boys wear basically the same thing, except Magnus. They've all got dark wash blue jeans and black button ups with the sleeves rolled to their elbows. Magnus wears a bright orange button up, with the sleeves unrolled, and blue denim pants.

I stumble, trying to follow them and Jace chuckles offering me his arm. Hesitantly, I accept it, thankful to have someone to hold me up. I would fall down the stairs for sure. Valentine waits at the end of the hallway, wearing a black suit just like the last time I saw him. I wonder briefly if he ever dresses casually, but I can't picture it. It seems so foreign, like it's something I shouldn't be looking at.

He smiles warmly at each one of us individually, as if we're his children and he loves us. "Hello, children. It's wonderful to see you all again." He meets eyes with me, holding eye contact for way too long. I hate it when people look into my eyes for more than a few seconds. It makes me uncomfortable. _They say the eyes are the window to the soul._

We follow him down the stairwell, to a room he calls the Dining Hall. It contains nothing but a long rectangular table. He and Sebastian sit on each end, instructing us all where to sit. I sit between Maia and Simon, with Jace across from me. Isabelle sits across from Simon, Jordan across from Maia, and Alec across from Magnus.

"So, what's the occasion?" Magnus breaks the lingering silence as two young boys, looking to be about 14 years of age, bring out trays placing food in front of each of us. My plate contains fried rice and sesame chicken. _Of course they know what kind of food I like._

"Yeah. We haven't had dinner as a group since you told us Clary was coming." Jordan observes, glancing at me. "What's going on?" I wonder when exactly they had this dinner Jordan mentioned. How long did they know I was coming, before they actually took me?

Valentine clears his throat. "We will make our announcement at the end of dinner, as usual." He looks knowingly at Simon. Everyone seems to accept this answer, diving into their food and pointless chatter. I reach for the glass of red wine in front of me, taking a small sip. It's disgusting, and I hate it, but choke it down anyways. I look up when I hear Maia giggling at the look of distaste I imagine I'm wearing.

"I don't like wine either." She whispers.

I smile at her, setting the glass down on the table. I try to think of something to say to her, but I'm not very good at small talk, and I can't keep my eyes away from the finger shaped bruise on her neck. She notices, and tries to inconspicuously cover it with her hand. I wonder if it was Jordan who did that.

I hold my wrist out to her, as if to say that I understand. She lets her hand drop, smiling sadly. The difference though, is location. Jace was only restraining me because he had to. Bruises on the neck suggest that Jordan _wanted _to hurt Maia. I want to ask her about it, but this is not the time or the place. And I doubt she would want to speak to a stranger about such personal issues. I know I wouldn't.

One of the young boys comes to take our plates when we're finished. Isabelle and Alec shift uncomfortably in their seats. The boy has dark hair, and goofy glasses over eyes like Isabelle's. "Hey Max." Isabelle whispers. He smiles sadly at her and Alec. _He must be their brother..._

Max places all of our dishes in one of those tubs you see bus boys with at restaurants. The other boy pushes a cart with various types of deserts on it. This boy has shaggy, light brown hair and dark green eyes.

He places a German Chocolate Cake in front of me. I slice off a small piece with my fork. It's not nearly as good as when it's made by my mother. It's too dry, and slightly bitter. _I want to go home._

Isabelle looks lovingly at Max, as he and the other boy exit the Dining Hall.

Valentine clicks his knife against his wine glass, silencing the casual chatter between everyone at the table. _Do people actually do that in real life? I thought it was only in the movies. _"As you all know, there is an announcement to be made." Every eye is on Valentine, each one of us straightening out in our seats. "Simon, would you like to do the honors, or shall I?"

Simon shift. "I'll do it." Everyone turns their attention to the goofy looking boy sitting beside me. He adjusts his thick rimmed glasses, and fidgets with his sleeve, making eye contact with Izzy. "Isabelle and I are having a baby."

There's a collective gasp, followed by Magnus hooting "You're the man, Simon!"

**Just a heads up: I won't be updating tomorrow because my favorite person in this world, my brother, is getting married! Yay!**

**See you all on Saturday.**

**Was the announcement what you thought it would be!? Review! I hope I'm not being too predictable here.**

**-IWriteNaked**


	12. Chapter 12

**Not even sure what I'm going for with this chapter. But I suggest listening to Disaster Hearts by I Fight Dragons. Too cute not to.**

**Thanks to everyone who congratulated my brother on his marriage! He said "Tell your fangirls I said thanks."**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments. I'm just bored.**  
**Oh, and I don't own Disaster Hearts by I Fight Dragons. If I did, I might be less bored.**

-Isabelle Lightwood-Lewis-

**"**Under normal circumstances, I would kick your ass, Lewis." Alec finally says, after several moments of silence. His is the only response that really matters to me. Well, Alec and Max, but I've rarely been allowed to see Max since we got here. Valentine keeps him on one of the lower floors, cleaning and serving us our food. I wish he could stay with us. Alec and I both miss him.

My brothers tough guy routine makes me laugh. He loves Simon because he knows that I do. My brother loves me, and has always made sure I am happy and safe. My husband smiles warmly, nudging my foot with his under the table. "Luckily for me, these aren't normal circumstances. Alec would crush me." Simon pushes his glasses up on the bridge of his nose. He's got this sexy nerd look, that I love.

I'm only 16. That's why Alec is so worried, but he doesn't have anything to worry about. Simon and I are in love. We've been happily married for almost two years. We're the only couple that didn't originally reject the idea of being together. Simon and I are both excited to have this baby. We've discussed names already, and everything. If we have a girl, we'll name her Adalyn Shae Lewis, and if it's a boy we will name him Rylan Niel Lewis.

My brother's flamboyantly gay husband hoots again. "I knew you had it in you, Simon." A few of us laugh at his enthusiasm. He's always got something to say, we can count on that.

Jace sits beside me, uncharacteristically quiet. He's watching Sebastian who is, in turn, watching Clary. I elbow him in the ribs, and he smiles unconvincingly. "Whatever makes you happy, Isabelle." He elbows me back. "I just hope the baby looks like you, and not Master Splinter." I jam my elbow hard into his side, and he grunts in pain. _That's what he gets for making fun of Simon._

"I think it's great." Sebastian chimes in, his black eyes slicing through me. It's the first time he's looked away from Clary all night. We all know about their little incident, but he's being a wee bit creepy about it. He chose her dress for tonight, **(AN: GreyGirl2358!) **insisting on the most revealing dress he could find. She's obviously uncomfortable, but I didn't want to fight with Sebastian. He wouldn't hesitate to hit me if I made him mad. Normally I wouldn't hesitate to kick his ass, but I'm not taking chances with this baby inside of me.

"Thank you, Sebastian." Simon says when I don't respond. Sebastian nods and goes back to staring obsessively at Clary.

-Sebastian Verlac-

They discuss petty things, like baby names and Isabelle's figure but I don't care about any of it. i have been _painfully _hard since the moment Clary walked into the Dining Hall. The dress looks perfect on her small frame, and I _need _her. I can't keep the image of myself between her thighs out of my mind. The sound of her breathing, and the way she said my name. She claims that it was only because she wanted to call her brother, but I know she wanted it. She won't admit it, but Clary still wants me. Jace can't make her feel the way I did. It's only a matter of time.

When Jace told Father, there was a lashing in it for me. Fucking her was worth the beating. I would gladly take every hit Father could throw just to taste her breath again. I can only guess that it's still sweet, from across the table. I want to make love to her, in the way the stars make love to the universe.

Her thick, curling eyelashes frame unfocused green eyes. They flick in my direction, and she's caught me staring. Clary quickly averts her eyes and takes another sip of the red wine in front of her. Her nose crinkles in the most adorable way. She doesn't like wine, but she's drinking it anyways. The same way she did with the champagne on her wedding night. It's a distraction from other things going on around her. She wants to forget.

I've fallen in love with the look she sends over her shoulder, her flaming hair falling over crescent moon eyes. A part of me only wants to talk to her for hours, while I hold her in my arms. The way you only read about in romance novels, and watch in romantic comedies. Another part of me wants to yell. To take her far away from this place, where I can take her in any way I please. I want to see the way the surface of the moon looks against her pale skin.

-Jace Wayland-

Some might call it staring... I prefer to call it really intense, creepy observation. Sebastian's eyes have seldom left Clary. I want to shout at him, telling him he cannot have her. Not because I think she belongs to me, but because I want to make sure she will never belong to him.

Valentine escorts us back up to our floor about an hour after Simon's announcement. Clary ditches her ridiculously high heeled boots at the door, groaning in relief. She doesn't say anything to me before grabbing clothes, and locking the bathroom door behind her.

I shrug out of my button up, and kick off my jeans to replace them with a pair of black pajamas. Clary comes out about 15 minutes later with damp hair and pajamas. She settles carefully into the bed beside me, keeping as much distance between us as she possibly can. The blanket is pulled all the way up over her shoulder, her red hair spread out over the blue pillowcase. It's a stark contrast, and I want to reach out to put my hands in her hair. She would only pull away.

-Clary Fray-

_Even in my dreams, I am afraid._

_I am in that basement again, with a lifeless Jace pressed to the concrete. Even now, he smells like the rain that won't come until tomorrow. I shake him by his shoulder, calling his name, begging him to just wake up. I need him to be alive. I need him to breathe. I can't do this by myself._

_Loud footsteps echo through the dank basement, slicing through the sound of my pleading cries. He descends the stairs at record speed. The Man stands over us, macacingly. I can't see his face. I've never seen his face. Only the silhouette of something dangerous, and the glint on a knife in his hands. "To love is to destroy, Jocelyn."_

"Clary, wake up." Jace shakes me gently, and I suck in a breath through gritted teeth. My knuckles collide with something hard, and Jace grunts.

My eyes fly open, and I immediately regret it. I squint against the light. The lamp on the bedside table is switched on, and Jace's hand covers his jaw. "Sorry." I mutter, looking down. I didn't mean to hit him, but my heart is pounding, the blood racing in my ears. I've hit Jon dozens of times, so it isn't really surprising that I took a swing at Jace. I try to swallow the '_before tears_' burning in my throat, but my eyes turn to liquid anyways.

"What is it, Clary?" Jace asks softly.

I don't know what it is about his tone of voice that causes me to break down, but I sob. "I'm scared, Jace." I tell him through tears. "I don't mean I get scared. I am scared. All the time."

"How can I help?" Jace doesn't try to touch me. For that, I am eternally grateful. I am aware that he isn't going to hurt me right now, but I still don't want to be touched by him.

"You can't." I answer, wiping the back of my hand over my eyes, trying to dry them off.

Jace sighs, staring blankly at me. He is _the Ice Man_ again. I can practically see the light bulb above his golden head when he gets an idea. He opens his mouth, and starts to sing with a voice I never would have expected.

**(Disaster Hearts by I Fight Dragons)**

**Come back, rebound.**

**Simpler said than found.**

**Night by night and tear by tear.**

**Somehow, some way.**

**We all get to someday.**

**Mile by mile and fear by fear.**

**Disaster has a way of remaking our hearts.**

**Long after all the thunder and scars.**

**Days pass and bit by bit, we begin to restart.**

**Our disaster hearts...**

**Stronger, wiser.**

**"You'll be fine", they tell you.**

**Life will heal and love will bind.**

**Weaker, slower.**

**Keep in mind it's over.**

**Take a breath and take your time.**

**Disaster has a way of remaking our hearts.**

**Long after all the thunder and scars.**

**Days pass and bit by bit, we begin to restart.**

**Our disaster hearts...**

**We will be the last ones.**

**To finally see when we're done.**

**And we will be the last ones.**

**To finally see when we're done.**

**Disaster has a way of remaking our hearts.**

**Long after all the thunder and scars.**

**Days pass and bit by bit, we begin to restart.**

**Our disaster hearts...**

**Disaster has a way of remaking our hearts...**

By the time he's finished the song, the tears have stopped and the fear has lessened greatly. He smiles. "Good. It worked."

"How did you know?" I ask. No one but Jonathan has ever done this for me, until now.

"Your file." Jace answers "It says your brother sang to you after you had nightmares."

"Thank you." I respond, too quickly.

Jace smiles sadly, his golden eyes shining with a look of understanding. "Clary, you don't need to thank me. I just want to be here for you. If you'll let me, that is."

I do something that shocks even me. I lean over, place my hand on his bare shoulder (_does he ever wear a shirt?) _and kiss him quickly on the lips. "Thank you."

It's the first kiss I've had that wasn't forced upon me, or given in order to get something in return. It's the first time I've kissed someone simply because I wanted to. Though it was only to show appreciation, it makes me blush, and Jace's eyes go wide.

He chuckles before turning off the lamp, and falling onto his pillow. **(I was going to stop here, but I have a little more time. You're welcome.)**

-Tomorrow-

In the back of the TV room, there's a small kitchen like you'd find in a studio apartment. Isabelle is slaving over the stove, making breakfast. "Isabelle, your cooking is the equivalent of a throat rash. Are you trying to kill your baby?"

Isabelle shoots a sharp look to Jace, and he smiles innocently. She's making an omelet, without greasing the pan, and with only olives and cheese. She looks to me, her eyes asking me to back her up. I pretend to be absorbed in drinking almond milk, and eating strawberry and vanilla granola. "Whatever Jace, it's better than anything you can cook."

"That's like saying stubbing your boner is slightly better than slamming it in the door." Jace tells her, a look of utter disgust masking his face.

I laugh. "Oh, is it?"

Jace turns his tawny eyes on me, smiling. "Yes, it's exactly like that. Fuck, I kick ass at similes." Isabelle scowls at him. "Something you want to say, Izzy?"

She rolls her eyes. "Yes. Go to Hell."

Jace smiles, mockingly. "Thanks for the advice, Professor Dickmouth." Simon chuckles from on the couch, and Jace turns to him. He's looking through Netflix for something to watch. "So, Simon." Jace starts. "What's your favorite anime to cry to?"

Simon looks unphased. "One Piece." He answers, simply.

I giggle, and take a seat on the opposite end of the couch as Simon. "One Piece is a great show." I tell him. He smiles widely, and turns on It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Simon sings along to the songs in the musical they're putting on, in the show. Something about Sweet Dee being a pedophile, and someone called Night Man. Isabelle and Jace both shake their heads and leave the room.

"They don't appreciate comedy." Simon tells me. I find this hard to believe, considering the things Jace has been saying all morning, but I don't argue with him. I think it's just Simon that Jace doesn't appreciate. I don't understand why. He's interesting, and funny in this goofy kind of way.

I sink further into the couch, trying to get comfortable and we watch ridiculous TV shows for the rest of the morning.

**Okay, I'm out of time. See you all tomorrow.**

**Review. If you have anything you'd like to see happen, I'd love to read your ideas.**

**-IWriteNaked**


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments. I'm just dicking around.**

-Clary Fray-

I plop down on the overstuffed chair in my studio, with a pencil and my sketchbook. Humming Jace's song from last night, I begin to draw. A child. A boy, with Isabelle's eyes and Simon's unruly hair. A strong jaw line, like Alec, and a lanky build like Max.

There's an immediate shift in the mood of the room when someone enters. My eyes dart upward, resting on Sebastian. "Hello, Clarissa." He greets me, sinking gracefully into the chair opposite me. _Why does he always bother me when I'm drawing?_

I grumble a response, hoping he'll just go away. No such luck. "Can I help you?" I spit, when he doesn't go away.

He smirks, raises an eyebrow and says "If you'd like." He gestures toward his body.

I scoff at him. "No, I'm fine."

The smile falls from his face, and he lifts himself from the chair. He isn't wearing anything on his feet, and I get distracted by the way his toes curl while he walks. Sebastian leans over, wraps his strong arms around my waist and pulls me out of the chair. His chest presses against mine, his hand going into my hair. "Clary..." Sebastian whispers my name, longingly. "I've been waiting for you so long."

"Sebastian, let go." His grip tightens when I try to move away from him.

"Just let me hold you." The apathy that usually consumes his tone is gone. He sounds affectionate and desperate. He presses his forehead against mine. His eyes are sunken, and tired. His eyes harbor terrible things that he's seen, and I think that his father has thrown him into very adult situations, when he is still just a child. Just like me. He's older than he should be. "Please, Clary. I won't try anything."

I let out a long sigh. I want to take pity on him, because I know he's only so screwed up because of his father, and because he looks like my brother. But his scent is making my head spin, and his breath against my skin is unpleasantly unfamiliar. "Let me go, Sebastian." My voice is small, and I'm not even sure if he heard me.

Sebastian removes his forehead from mine, but doesn't take his hands out of my hair or away from my lower back. "I want to be with you, Clary. As husband and wife. I love you. Doesn't that make you feel better about this?" He finally drops his hands and takes a step back. "Doesn't it make you feel alive?"

I step away from the chair, slowly making my way toward the door. "It doesn't make me feel anything." I tell him, speaking clearly this time.

His sharply handsome features morph into anger, and suddenly he looks nothing like Jonathan. My brother rarely gets angry, and he would never look at me with such pure hatred. Sebastian lunges for me, slamming his body into mine, and I hit the wall with brute force. My right shoulder crashes hard, and I cry out in pain. "Why can't you just love me?" He growls, ripping the front of my shirt.

I groan, the pain from the impact shooting through me. He shoves his hand down the front of my jeans. "Sebastian, stop." I tremble under his touch. He kisses hungrily across my jaw, and down my neck. "Stop!" I push against his shoulders, but he hardly moves.

"You're so beautiful." His free hand runs over my collar bone, and then into my hair. His lips are about to connect with mine when he flies backwards. I slump to the ground, without him holding me up any longer. My shoulder blade aches dully, from cashing into the wall. I try not to move my arm.

"Clary, are you okay?" Simon crouches beside me, placing his hand on my shoulder. I wince at the contact. Alec and Magnus are dragging Sebastian out of the library, hurriedly.

"I'm fine." I tell him. He helps me to my feet very, very slowly, and I'm trembling. "My shoulder hurts, but otherwise I'm uninjured." I assure him.

The heavy door closes loudly. Jace is taking deliberate steps toward me. He stops in front of me, his golden eyes searching mine with such reckless abandon is makes me calm. What he's searching for in my eyes, I don't know. "Magnus told me what happened." says Jace. "Are you hurt?"

"Not at all." I lie, but he sees me wince when I move my arm.

Jace turns to Simon, who's still letting me lean on him. I can stand just fine on my own, but I'm grateful for the support anyways. "Thanks, Simon." Jace says, genuinely. "I've got her." It's the first time he's spoken to Simon without a hostile or mocking tone.

Jace reaches for me, but I pull away from Simon before either of them can stop me. _I'm fine. I can walk by myself. _Jace walks silently beside me, into our bedroom. "I'm going to change." I say, looking down at my ripped shirt. I grab the first t-shirt I can get my hands on. It's black, with blue and white lettering spelling out '_Bad Habits_' in several different fonts.

I tear the remaining fabric of the old shirt off, letting it fall to the ground. "Uh, Clary..." Jace says, when I remove my shirt.

I look down at a body that doesn't feel like mine. I don't feel anything. "I really can't find the energy to care right now, Jace."

He nods, eying my black lacy bra. I blush, turning away from him. "Your right shoulder is badly bruised." I try to pull the shirt over my head, but pain shoots through my shoulder blade. Jace chuckles, approaching me. I feel the heat radiating off his body against my back. He's very close. "Let me help you." He says softly. My heart leaps, and everything inside of me is telling me to run away, but I really do need help, so I nod. Once I have my shirt on, Jace says "What happened before Magnus came in?"

I shake my head, walking around him to sit by the window. Jace follows. "He said he wanted us to be together. I said no, and he got angry." I summarize, giving as few details as possible. Jace stares at me, as if he's waiting for me to continue. I sigh. "He slammed me into the wall, hence the bruise. And he..." I trail off.

Jace speaks through gritted teeth. "I think I can guess what he had planned from there."

"Mr. and Mrs. wayland." Valentine comes on over the speaker, and Jace closes his eyes tightly. "How are you?"

"We're just fucking great." Jace says venomously.

"What is the problem, my boy?" He asks, kindly.

"Your son is the problem." Jace says, accusingly.

Valentine sighs. "What has Sebastian done this time?"

Jace's eyes meet mine, and don't break away while he says "He hurt my wife."

"Clarissa, are you alright, dear?" Valentine's voice is filled with fatherly concern. It makes me miss Luke.

"I'll live." I assure him, bringing my knees up to my chest. All flame of emotion left inside of me has burnt out. I feel cold. Numb.

"Are you injured?"

I'm about to say that it's nothing to worry about when Jace cuts me off. "Her shoulder blade is bruised. Sebastian slammed her into the wall." His breathing is shallow, his fists clenched. "He was going to rape her."

Valentine sighs, again. "I will take care of my son. Be sure that Clarissa is comfortable." _Click._

Jace watches me curiously. "What?" I ask.

He laughs, shaking his head. "Nothing."

I try to raise one eyebrow, but fail miserably. _Damn. _"Why are you staring at me?" I press.

Jace avoids my gaze. "I was just thinking about something. Sorry, I didn't mean to pull a Sebastian and get all creepy."

"It's fine. You aren't creepy." I tell him. "What are you thinking about?"

Jace looks away from me. "Nothing." he repeats.

"You can't say nothing. You just said you were thinking about something." I complain.

Jace smiles, widely, but it falters. "I was thinking about when you kissed me last night." He admits. My face turns red, remembering. "I know you've only been here for about a week, but you've never done anything like that before."

"Sorry." I say.

Jace reaches out, and closes his hand around mine. "It was nice."

**So, I'm wildly unhappy with this chapter but it's the best I could do. I'm feeling unenthusiastic and untalented today. Sorry the chapter is mediocre at best. I'm lacking inspiration. **

**-IWriteNaked**


	14. Chapter 14

**I'm back, feeling much more inspired than last time. Hopefully I've got something good to offer. And it's my 19th birthday today! Yay!**

**WARNING: Rapey Lemon in this chapter. Not violent, but I feel the need to warn you anyways. Read at your own risk.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments (Or the characters, Gams2000) I just make them have sex.**

-Clary Fray-

I can't even look at myself today. I sit beside the window, looking out over the garden, my legs curled up to my chest. I don't feel safe. It's been three days since the incident with Sebastian. I cower every time Jace tries to touch me. I cower every time anyone tries to touch me.

Jace leans against the wall on the other side of the room. His luminous eyes drill into mine, and I look away unable to tolerate making eye contact for too long. The sun has started to set, causing the garden to look less vibrant. The sun sets fire to the clouds along the horizon, and the world looks ferociously alive. Jace barely makes a sound as he crosses the room. "You've barely left this spot in days." He says, concern evident in his usually carefree tone.

I don't move my eyes away from the sunset. It's true. I've been in a daze for days, pushing everyone away. "He'll come for me again if I go anywhere else." I confess. "I haven't really been in the mood to be slammed into any more walls lately." I sigh, defeated. "Entirely unreasonable, I know." _Sarcasm at its finest, ladies and gentlemen. _

Jace lowers himself onto the cushion beside me, looking out on the world. I let myself look at him, finally. The lighting makes his eyes brighter, and his lightly tanned skin glows flawlessly. It makes me jealous that I'm pale all the time, and he can have a tan when he hasn't been outside in three years. He looks at me expressionless. "Talk to me, Clary."

I look away again. "I don't know what you want me to say." I try to keep my voice strong, like my mothers, but it falters near the end.

"You need to talk to someone. I'm worried about you." Jace tries to take my hand, but I'm startled and pull it away. It doesn't phase him. "Just... Tell me what you're feeling. I want to help."

The flame inside of me burns brighter, anger rising up in my throat. "There's one guy being forced to rape me on a regular basis, so I don't get murdered. Whenever I try to cooperate, I literally can't. It makes me sick." I spit the words at him. "Another guy" I continue "has tried to rape me twice in the last week. Not because I'll be murdered if he doesn't, but because his father has fucked him up so badly he actually thinks it's okay." I shoot up, onto my feet, unable to stay seated any longer. "I lost my virginity by force, before I'd ever even had my first kiss. How the fuck am I supposed to feel? You tell me, Jace, because I don't feel anything most of the time." I'd meant to sound angry, but instead my voice comes out quiet and dead. Not so different from how I feel.

The silence eerily resonates off the walls. I want to take it all back. To tell him nothing is wrong, so he'll stop looking at me the way Luke looks at broken things. I am not damaged good. I am only shaken up a little.

Jace nods, never breaking eye contact. "I'm going to get us out of here." He whispers. The sound barely reaches me. "I don't know how, exactly, but i'm going to get us out of here." His voice is barely louder than a whisper.

We stand in silence for several moments before Valentine ruins everything. "Jace. Clarissa." He says over the speaker. "How are you?"

"Swell." Jace answers.

I stand up straight, with a deadpan expression, refusing to answer Valentine's question. "Your bride looks upset, Mr. Wayland. Why don't you make her feel better?" Valentine says suggestively.

I close my eyes tightly. We don't need to ask what he means by this. "I really don't think that will make her feel better." Jace objects.

"Do it, Jace." Valentine's voice is hard and cold. _Maybe _he _is the original the Ice Man. _"We don't want a repeat of what happened to Eskil."

Jace's breath hitches, and he moves toward me. I take a step back. "Who's Eskil?" My voice is quavering.

He blinks three times before answering. "The first girl." He takes another step toward me, placing his hands on my hips. "Breathe, Clary." He tells me. I didn't realize I hadn't been. I fill my lungs, and then his lips are on mine, his chest pressed against me. I can feel his heartbeat through the thin fabric of our t-shirts.

His lips move patiently, but I don't kiss him back. I don't imagine it would be very pleasant to kiss an immobile mouth. He groans, the noise vibrating against my lips. His lips leave mine just long enough to pull his t-shirt over his head, and then he's kissing me again. I'm almost curious enough to reach out and feel his chest. Almost, but not enough to participate in this.

I try to be good, and just pretend I'm somewhere else, but when he tries to unbutton my jeans I can't ignore it anymore. I step back, out of his grip. My hands tremble slightly, and it takes everything in me to steady them. Jace frowns. "Clary..." He reaches for me again, his hands gripping whatever part of me they can find. "I'm really sorry."

My arms wrap around his waist, my face pressed into his bare chest. He doesn't hesitate to hug me back, his chin resting easily on the top of my head. "I don't want to do it, Jace."

"I know." says Jace, stroking my unruly hair.

Gathering every ounce of bravery that's left inside of me, I move away slightly and reach for his belt. He makes a shocked noise, and my hands are shaking. _This is a bad dream that just goes on forever. _I struggle with his belt for a moment, but successfully unbuckle it. He doesn't move. My hand hovers over the button of his jeans. I step out of his arms, turning away. "I can't."

Jace comes up behind me, putting his arms around my waist. He sits down on the bed, pulling me down into his lap. "Hey, it's okay." He presses his lips to my temple. "Just... Think about something else."

I stare straight ahead, and let him remove my shirt. It lands on the floor just in front of us. I stare at it while he unhooks my bra. It lands on top of the shirt. Jace's hands trail gingerly up my stomach, to my breasts. His hands cover them easily, and I suck in a breath through gritted teeth.

Instantly, his hands drop. "You don't like that?" I don't answer. I did like it. I like a lot of things he does to me, but that doesn't mean I'm willing. My body reacts in ways I don't want it to.

With one hand, he moves all of my hair to one side, so he can kiss my neck. He slips the other hand inside of my jeans. His finger circles my clit, and I gasp. He chuckles against my neck. It sends shivers down my spine, which makes him chuckle again. He pulls his hand out of my pants, hooking his thumbs in each side and yanks them down, pulling my underwear off with them. We stand up, my back pressed into him. His hands run over me, causing me to blush.

I push his hands away, and he sighs. He lifts me, and literally tosses me onto the bed. Jace removes the remainder of his clothing and climbs on top of me, his mouth assaulting mine. I feel numb. Empty. He pulls away, looking deeply into my eyes. I stare back, blankly. "I want to try something." He says. My expression doesn't change. I have no idea what he wants, but I'm too numb to care. I shrug. "You won't freak out?"

"Probably not." It's not the most reassuring answer, but I guess it was good enough. He kisses me, hard. When I don't kiss back, he slides his lips down my neck, over my breasts, across my stomach, getting lower and lower until I feel his breath between my legs. I know I said I wouldn't freak out, but I want to.

"Why?" I ask, my voice quavering.

He doesn't answer. One finger slides into me, his tongue flicks my clit. "Stop." I beg.

He doesn't stop. His finger slips in and out of me, his tongue moving expertly. Despite my efforts to stay silent, a small moan escapes my lips. "Do you really want me to stop?" Jace asks.

_No. _"Yes."

Jace sighs, pulling his finger out of me. "Okay." He sounds slightly disappointed. He positions himself between my legs. "Are you ready?"

I inhale deeply, trying to slow the beating of my heart. "If that's what you want to call it." Jace doesn't start off slowly, like the other times. I'd expected him to be sweet like before, but he's just _fucking _me. It feels overwhelmingly good, and I feel ashamed. "Jace." I gasp.

It was meant to make him stop, but it only seems to encourage him. He knows exactly what he's doing. "Relax, Clary." I push feebly at his chest. "I really don't want to bruise your wrists." Jace says. "Please" he begs "try to relax."

I inhale deeply, giving up my struggle. He smells like oranges, and I silently make it my mission to figure out how he's doing that. I've always wanted to smell like oranges. Jace smiles, noticing that I've given up. He leans in to kiss me again.

Up until this point, I've let him do whatever he wants without reacting very much. _Fuck it. _I lean in to him, kissing back and remember that I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing. Jace doesn't seem to notice. "That's a lot better than when you weren't responding."

I laugh humorlessly. "Can we just get this over with?"

**And, there we have it.**

**Review, because that's all I want for my birthday. :)**

**-IWriteNaked**


	15. Chapter 15

**You are all too sweet!**

**Happy birthday to the guests called Jenny and S! Hope you both had a great day yesterday.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments. I just really like Jace.**

-Jace Wayland-

When Clary finally kisses me back, I have to stop myself from doing a happy dance like a 13 year old girl. I'm well aware that she is only doing it because she's confused and scared. But it's nice to be able to convince myself, for just a moment, that I'm _not _forcing myself on anyone. To pretend for one moment that she actually likes me. Clary says it makes her sick, but I think it might disgust me even more.

_You know, I'm a cocky little shit for someone who hates them self._

It's hard to believe that she hasn't really kissed before. _She's perfect. _"That's a lot better than when you weren't responding." I say, putting my hand on her cheek.

She turns her head away from my touch, laughing in that way you do when something is too shocking to stay silent. "Can we just get this over with?" Her words cut right through me. Of course she wants me to get it over with quickly. She hates me. _I can't say I blame her. I hate me too._

"Yeah. But I'm going to keep kissing you." She nods, and lifts her head to press her lips to mine. Her breath is sweet, like apples. I like the way her lips move against mine, and it drives me crazy when she moans into my mouth.

I roll off of her a few moments later, breathing heavily. Clary immediately leaves the bed, and goes into the bathroom. I wanted to ask her to stay, but I can't find the words. I hear the shower start, and I can hear the soft hum of Clary singing to herself.

According to the wall clock it's only 7 PM. I pull a dark grey t-shirt over my head, and shove my legs into black jeans. Out in the hallway I bang loudly on a door down the hall. "Alec! Mags! Open up!"

The door flies open, and the amount of glitter in Magnus' hair is blinding. "Hello, Jace." He says casually. He jerks his prickly chin toward the room. "Come in."

"Hey Jace." Alec greets me. I wave at my best friend, smiling sadly. "What's wrong?" He watches me curiously as I sink down onto their porch swing. _Why do they have a porch swing in their room? _

"I have no idea what to do." I admit.

Magnus flops down beside me, causing the swing to sway backward and he nearly falls off. "About what?" He asks after steadying himself.

I sigh loudly. "Clary."

Magnus snickers. "Jace Wayland has come to us with girl problems."

"Shut it, Sparkles." I snap. "She hates me. I need your help."

Alec frowns, leaning against the wall across the room. "Why are you so convinced that she hates you?"

"Because she has every right to." I answer honestly.

Magnus shakes his head ferociously. "You're going to have to explain."

I stare at my hands in my lap. "Does Valentine make you guys have sex?"

Magnus grins, and Alec turns 34 different shades of red. "He doesn't have to make us." Magnus says proudly, causing Alec to turn an even darker shade of red, if possible.

"Why do you ask?" Alec mutters, sliding down the wall onto the floor. The movement causes the hair in the back of his head to stick up.

"Before any of you got here, there was just me and a girl called Eskil." I tell them. "We were married, and when it came time to consummate the marriage, she started crying. I refused to do it. I was only 14, and she could've been younger. I don't know, though. She wasn't here long enough for me to learn anything else about her. She obviously didn't want to have sex. Valentine wanted me to _force _her." I put my head in my hands, closing my eyes tightly. "I said i wouldn't, and these two guys came in, raped and murdered her." I choke back the growl that's rising in my throat.

"Jace..." Alec says my name as if it's a language he doesn't understand.

"Before Clary got here, he told me if I didn't cooperate, the same thing would happen to her." I stand from my seat, unable to sit still any longer. "And the thing is that I'm starting to like her..." I confess. It's the first time I've admit it, even to myself. "How do I make her like me back when I'm being forced to rape her all the time?" I groan in frustration.

We soak in the silence for several moments. Magnus is the first to speak, of course. "I knew Valentine was fucked up, but this is some Jerry Springer shit."

-Clary Fray-

When I come out of the shower, Jace is gone. I start to get lonely/bored sitting in our room alone, so I step into the hallway, planning to look for him. The music room and the library are both empty. I step into the TV room, hoping he'll be in there, so I don't have to knock on anyone's door.

The TV room isn't empty, but it isn't Jace sitting on the couch. "Hey, Maia." I say to her. She jumps at the sound of my voice, her dark hair swaying over her shoulders. It's not until I sit down beside her that I notice the black eye and the tears rolling down her cheeks. "Are you okay?" I ask softly.

She sniffs. "Perfect."

"Hey, you don't have to pretend like nothing happened." I say. "If you need to talk, I won't tell anyone."

Maia sighs. "It's really nothing."

I look her in the eyes. They're rimmed red from crying, and one has a dark bruise underneath it. "It isn't nothing, Maia. It's real, and important. You shouldn't ignore it."

Maia smiles, sadly. "Jordan." She points to her eye. "He gets upset sometimes, if I don't... You know." She blushes. "It's fine, really."

I frown. "It's not fine. He hits you."

She glances at my wrists. The bruises have mostly faded. "I thought Jace seemed like an asshole, but I didn't think he would do that."

I suddenly feel like I need to defend him. "He isn't a bad guy. Valentine makes him do it. He killed Jace's first wife, when he refused to have sex with her."

Maia's eyes widen. "I've never heard anything like that." I thought it was common knowledge around here. I thought it was what made everyone do whatever Valentine says. Maybe Isabelle is right? Maybe the others really do love each other. Apart from Maia and Jordan. And of course Jace and I.

I shrug. "You don't like Jordan?" I ask.

Maia wipes away another tear. "I did at first, but now..." She points to her blackened eye. "I don't know how to feel."

I shake my head slightly. "I know that feeling."

**Sorry it's short, and anticlimactic. I didn't know what to write.**

**Review?**

**-IWriteNaked**


	16. Chapter 16

**Okay, only saying this once: I know my chapters are short. If you want me to update as often as I have been, they're going to be short. Sorry.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments. I just have no life.**

-Jace Wayland-

In the back of the closet there is a small black button. Using the pad of my thumb, I press down on it, hard. Out in the bedroom I wait for Valentine to answer. I've never used the call button before. I've never wanted to speak to him before. "Hello, my son." Valentine comes on over the speaker.

"Hello Valentine." I want to tell him I am not his son, but I hold my tongue. "I need your advice."

"About Clary." He states, knowingly.

I stiffen, unintentionally. "How did you know?"

Valentine laughs. "I've seen you with her, Jace. At dinner, you watched her the entire time." Valentine pauses. "It is unlike you to be patient with anyone, Jace Wayland. You have been patient with her."

I clear my throat. "How do I make her like me?"

There is a hint of amusement in his tone when he says "I've found that threats work wonders..." Valentine takes a deep breath and speaks again, less amused this time. "I thought I was already helping you with that."

I sputter. "I don't want her to fear me, i want her to like me. You haven't helped at all!" I usually don't lose my temper with Valentine, but I cannot believe he actually thinks he's helping.

"What if I arranged for the two of you to spend some time in the garden tomorrow? Clary seems to like the garden."

My breath hitches, and I wonder briefly if I heard him correctly. I haven't been outside in three years. "We could do that?"

"You have earned it, my boy." Valentine assures me. "There will be a picnic ready for the two of you at one PM tomorrow. Pangborn and Blackwell with escort you." My stomach flips when I hear their names. _The men who murdered Eskil. _"They will be armed, so don't try anything." I nod in agreement, before Valentine clicks off.

-Clary Fray-

I sit with Maia for a long time, talking about everything we can think of. She tells me about her dickbag of a brother. I don't mention Jonathan, feeling guilty that she was stuck with Daniel the sociopath while I had the greatest brother in the world.

After a while, Maia announces that she needs to get back to Jordan. It doesn't seem like she really wants to, but I don't try to stop her. She wouldn't stay if I asked her to. "I'll see you later, Clary." Maia says, waving as she exits the room. Somewhere along the line, the tears morphed into laughter. Maia and I got along very well.

When I return to the bedroom, Jace is laying on the bed with a copy of _I Am Not A Serial Killer _by Dan Wells. "John Wayne Cleaver turns out to be a one-time murderer, rather than a serial killer." I say, amused with his choice of books.

"Hey, no spoilers!" Jace complains.

"It hardly seems like your choice in literature." I reply. "Why are you reading it?"

Jace smirks. "I happen to love angsty 15 year old boys who think they were born to be a serial killer." His smile widens. "And I saw you reading it. I wanted to have something to talk to you about, and books are a good start."

"It's a good book." I flop down onto the bed beside him. "I've read it five times, as of yesterday." I smile, remembering the day that Luke first brought it home. He'd laughed at the title, and decided that it was a must have. I roll over onto my side, pulling the blanket up over my shoulder. "Good night."

Jace smiles, placing the book on the bedside table. "G'night."

-Morning-

I wake up to the sound of hushed voices. My eyes protest the light streaming through the window, but I pry them open anyways. Jace, Alec and Simon are standing in the doorway. I sit up, trying to be quiet enough that they don't notice, but Alec spots me. "Morning, Clary." He waves.

I nod in his general direction. "Good morning, guys."

Jace rubs the back of his neck, awkwardly. "Um, Isabelle is waiting in her room for you."

I throw the blanket off of myself. "What for?"

"No time to explain!" Simon exclaims. "You can't keep Izzy waiting. She's very impatient these days." They push me out the door, still in my jammies. I have no choice but to go into Isabelle's room where she gets to work right away on taming my hair and doing my makeup. After what seems like forever she hands me jean shorts, and a black tank top. I'm about to object to the length of the shorts, but Izzy gives me a look that says '_Don't mess with a pregnant woman._' So I put them on.

"There!" Iz says. "You're perfect." I stand in front of the full length mirror, wondering how the hell Isabelle made my hair look this way. It falls over my shoulders in a delicate curls. "Now, come on. It's one o'clock. Jace is waiting."

In the hallway, Jace is leaned against the wall, just like last time Isabelle kidnapped me. He pushes off the wall, stepping toward me. When he holds his arm out, I hesitate for a moment before taking it. It seems too intimate this time. The last time, it was so I didn't fall over in those ridiculous high heels. I'm wearing a pair of black converse this time, so there's really no point. "What's going on?" I ask.

Jace leads me toward two men I've never seen before. They stand as hard as stone beside the stairwell. When we reach them, Jace stiffens, breathing deeply. He pulls me closer to him. I want to move away, but something tells me I shouldn't even try, because Jace won't let me anyways. "We're going into the garden." Jace answers as we follow the two men onto the staircase. "For a picnic." He adds.

"We're allowed outside?" I say, exasperated.

Jace shrugs when we reach the next floor down. The taller of the two men pulls out a key, pushing an elevator button. "We've never been allowed before." We step onto the elevator, the most annoying elevator music ever playing. Even the two creepy men cringe upon hearing it.

The elevator drops several floors, leaving my stomach a few levels up. We step out into a hallway very similar to the one we live in. "This way." One of the men grumbles. We stumble down the hallway, over the thresh hold landing in a world of color.

"Wow." I breathe out, taking in the garden. It's even more beautiful from down here, the flowers brighter in color. It's all very overwhelming.

Jace stammers, looking at the world as if he's never seen it before. He hasn't let go of my arm, and the closeness makes me uncomfortable. The two men keep their distance, just enough to give off the illusion of privacy. We settle onto a checkered blanket sprawled out in the clearing. There's a picnic basket in the middle of it. "Jace?" I say quietly, so the men can't hear me. I'm not sure why I don't want them to hear.

"Yeah?"

"Why are we having a picnic?" He puts his arm around my shoulder, and I struggle not to pull away. _Get used to it, Clary. _

He chuckles. "Valentine owed me a favor."

**;sldjibdfouiyh. Review.**

**-IActuallyWriteWithClothesOnMostOfTheTime.**


	17. Chapter 17

**To the guest called Anne A A: That is cruel and unusual punishment! Dobby was my favorite character. I cried when he died. I can't even handle it... You're mean! Haha. (And don't worry about foul language. There are ZERO curse words that bother me)**

**I would just like to point out that there are 310 reviews as of right now. Breathless has twice as many chapters, and about the same amount of reviews. That is HUGELY awesome! You guys rock! Thank you so much for all of the support on Fatally Yours. You've all been so great.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments. Dicking around. Always.**

-Clary Fray-

Jace leans back on his elbows, shaking his golden locks out of his bright eyes. His eyelids flutter shut, and he smiles peacefully, inhaling the sweet scent of the garden. "I didn't realize how much I missed being outside." He whispers.

I lay back beside him, placing my hands over my stomach, fidgeting with the soft fabric of my tank top. "I was never allowed out much anyways."

Jace chuckles, dropping from his elbows to lay down, exhaling when his shoulders his the checkered blanket. "Your over protective mother." He states.

I roll my head toward him. "What was your mother like?" I'm not sure why I asked that.

Jace inhales sharply, like I've hurt him. I think that I probably shouldn't have asked. "She died giving birth to me." He doesn't turn his head toward me. He keeps his gaze on the sky. "My father was never around. He probably doesn't even know I'm gone." Jace doesn't look upset. He looks like he's telling me what he had for breakfast, rather than the fact that his father was never there for him.

"He knows." I state, suddenly remembering the man on the news, deeply upset that his 14 year old son had gone missing. He'd tried everything to find him, but there were never any clues to where these children had gone.

He doesn't say anything. He sits up, shaking his head a little, with a small unhappy smile on his lips. His hand clasps around the handle of the picnic basket, pulling it toward us. "Are you hungry?"

"All the time." I answer, honestly.

I see, rather than hear, him laugh. His shoulders shake, and his smile is infectious. He pulls several different things from the basket. "Well, it looks like the menu is..." He hands me a container. "Turkey wraps, Mellow Yellow and Reese's."

I smile widely when he hands me a bottle of Mellow Yellow. Greatest. Drink. Ever. "Fantastic." I say, removing the lid from the plastic container with the wrap in it. I take a small bite, hesitantly.

We eat silently, and then throw our plastic containers and empty bottles into the basket, tossing it to the side. Jace stands, offering me his hand. I take it, and he helps me to my feet. Jace leans, his lips next to my ear. His breath on my neck makes me blush warmly. "Let's take a walk." His voice is husky.

I nod, following him down the path that weaves through the garden. Our escorts follow behind us, their feet clashing loudly with the stepping stone path. Jace shoots a glare in their direction.

-Jace Wayland-

Their loud footfall makes me want to punch them in their throats. If it were possible, they would have been cut wide open on the sharp looks I shoot to them. Clary bumps into me, gently. "You're quiet." She says.

I try to smile reassuringly, but from the look she gives me, I know she sees right through it. "Pangborn and Blackwell." I say, jerking my chin in their direction. Clary raises her eyebrows. "The men who killed Eskil."

She looks down at her feet, then back up at me. "Are you alright?"

I put my arm over her shoulder, and she stiffens but doesn't shake me off. _Slow progress is better than no progress. _"I just don't trust them." I say, leading her through the Iris'. "I've seen them do terrible things, and I don't want them near you."

We come to a bench overlooking the pond I often see from the window. It's even more beautiful up close. We sit down, my arm still around her shoulder. "I don't have any objections to staying away from them." She says, leaning into me slightly. Barely enough to notice. She might not have meant to do it at all, but it's enough to cause my heart to thump violently inside of my chest.

I wonder daily if she can hear the growing affection in my voice. She smiles at me, and I want to kiss her so badly. I might have, had it not been for the tears brimming in her bright green eyes. "Hey, don't cry." I pull her closer to me, and she flinches, before laying her head on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry." She apologizes, her voice quavering.

Her hair is soft against my fingertips when I push it behind her ear. "What's wrong, Clary?"

She shakes her head, wiping away tears that have yet to spill over. "I was just thinking about my brother." I take a curl in between my thumb and index, playing with it. "I miss him more than the others."

There's nothing to say, so instead I just stroke her hair, humming softly. I would be content to spend the rest of the day like this, but Clary gets uncomfortable quickly. When she moves away from me, I feel the loss instantly. The places her body rested against mine feel cold without her. She looks at me through long black eyelashes, and I notice for the first time that Isabelle has coated her usually copper lashes in black. I like them better left natural, but I also like the way this makes her eyes stand out more. "I really like your eyes." _Fucking shit. Why did I say that?_

Clary ducks her chin, her sparsely freckled cheeks turning a light shade of pink. "Thank you." She whispers. "Yours are more interesting than mine though."

I smirk. "I think you're interesting."

Her blush deepens. "Do you know what I like about you?"

My heart turns, loudly I think. "Hmm?" I try to sound casual.

"You pretend not to be, but you're so humble." I have _never _been called humble before.

"Well that, and handsome." I reply, stupidly.

I cringe internally, until I hear Clary giggle. "I take it back!" She says, throwing her hands in the air dramatically. "You are impossible."

I place my hands against my chest in mock hurt. "What about me is impossible?"

Clary shakes her head, grinning. "There's not one thing I could point out to you. Everything about you is impossible, Mr. Wayland." She teases, saying _Mr. Wayland _in the same tone that Valentine would.

"Perhaps, but you think I'm pretty attractive,_ Mrs. Wayland_." I test, and her smile falters a little, being replaces by a dark blush on her cheeks.

Clary shakes her head again, looking down at her hands in her lap. "You are impossible." She repeats.

**You know the drill. Review, because it makes me smile.**

**-IWriteNaked**


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Mortal Instruments. I just have nothing else to do with my life. :D  
**

-Clary Fray-

I flop down onto the bed beside Jace. He sets the copy of _I Am Not A Serial Killer _on the nightstand and reaches out, taking the end of my long French Braid between his fingers. There's still water dripping from my hair, and he flicks it at me. "Is his therapist the serial killer?" He asks, letting my braid drop down. It lands heavily against my shoulder.

"You said no spoilers." I point out.

Jace pretends to pout. "Fine." He reaches over to click the light off when he's halted by the sound of Valentine's voice.

"How was your picnic, children?" He asks coolly.

Jace sits up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. "It was good." He says, looking down at his hands in his lap. I haven't noticed any of Jace's nervous habits before now. He cracks each one of his knuckles one by one, seemingly to calm himself. His shoulders are tense. Part of me wants to rub his shoulders and ask what's wrong. A bigger part of me is still afraid to touch him.

"Clarissa?" Says Valentine. "You had a good time as well?"

"Yes." I say dryly. "It was fantastic."

Valentine sighs. "If it was so wonderful, why do the two of you sound so glum?" He sounds like Luke after I've told him _'I'm fine.' _when I didn't mean it. A small amount of amusement swirled in with worry. Longing for my family nags at the back of my mind, but I push it down.

Jace stands, leaving me alone on the mattress. He paces nervously, and I think that maybe I've just never seen him nervous before. He seems to have a plethora of nervous habits. "We don't mean to sound so unenthusiastic." Says Jace. "Clary and I are just tired." He lies, expertly. I try to soften my expression into a look of exhaustion to back up his excuse.

"In that case," Valentine says "I will leave you to get your rest." _Click._

"Are you alright?" I ask, abandoning my place on the bed to stand in front of Jace.

He smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes. "Great." I know he's lying, but if he doesn't want to tell me, I can't make him.

-Sebastian Verlac-

I knock on the door to my fathers study and wait patiently for him to come to the door. Answering the door always takes him longer than it should. "Son, come in." He says, holding the door for me. I step around him. "have a seat."

I ignore his request, getting right to the point. "What do you want, father? Why did you ask me to come here?" Both my facial expression and my tone of voice are blank, as they have been since he took Clary away from me. _I should have taken her away with me when father sent me to take her from her home._

He settles behind the over sized desk he keeps in his study. There are two tormented angels holding the top of the desk up. _My father never has had very good taste in decor._ "It's about Clarissa. We should talk."

I straighten my spine at the mention of her name. Just thinking about her makes my heart pound ferociously. "Have you finally come to your senses, father?" I mock, knowing that my father seldom changes his mind.

He shakes his head in frustration. "She's someone's wife, Sebastian." Valentine runs his meaty fingers through a mess of too-fair hair. His hair is usually laid out neatly on his head, unlike mine, which I let stick out in every direction. My father's hair is the polar opposite of his eyes, which are sunken with dark circles around them.

He doesn't usually look this run down. Father hasn't rested much since Clary got here. He has spent far too much time trying to keep me away from the girl, and hasn't managed to do even that.

It's the first time, I think, that my father has ever looked old. Weak, even. I have never seen my father look tired before. He has always been so fierce, and terrifyingly resourceful. Valentine could intimidate even the most dauntless of men. "I want her my be _my _wife, father." I proceed. "I don't understand! I love her."

My father lets out a long breath. "You will understand soon enough, son."

-Clary Fray-

The smell of coffee is enough to convince me to open my eyes. Jace is standing in front of me, next to the bed, his hair sticking up, messy from sleep. He seems to have forgotten to wear a shirt again, and the sun streaming in the window behind him makes him look like an angel. _Hot damn. _And then he says the words that have been dropping panties forever. "I brought you coffee."

I sit up, reaching for one of the mugs in his hands. "My hero!" I bring the mug to my lips. It's strong, the way I like it. "Thank you."

He sinks down onto the bed beside me. "Sure thing." For moment he just looks into my eyes, as if he's searching for something. Jace opens his mouth to speak, but he's interrupted.

"Good morning, Mr. and Mrs. Wayland." Valentine says. Jace closes his eyes tightly, knowing what comes next.

**Pffffffft. Sexy time for the unhappy couple. See you guys on Wednesday.  
**

**-IWriteNaked**


	19. Chapter 19

**WARNING: This chapter is just a lemon.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Mortal Instruments. I just make them have awkward sex.**

-Clary Fray-

the tender way he touches me could dismantle the fucking universe. I unhinge myself from him. "Can I at least finish my coffee first?" The steam from my mug convulses, twitching around like my heartbeat.

Jace smiles, bringing his own mug to my lips. I copy his movements, letting the bitter coffee leak pleasantly onto my tongue. The mug isn't even half empty when Jace takes it out of my hand, placing it with a bang on the bedside table, and he's kissing me. He reignites the flame in my throat, his hand slowly creeping up under my shirt. "Jace..." I whisper against his lips, my voice trembling.

He grips my hips, pulling me into his lap. _Just go along with it, Clary. _I try not to think about what I'm doing. My hands knot into his hair, and my lips move in perfect harmony with his. Jace pulls away, trailing his lips from my collar bone to my ear. "I'm sorry if this is too forward, but I am going to fuck you senselessly."

I squeak when he shoves his hand down the front of my pajama pants. Every fiber of me wants to fight him, but I know it's time to give up. It's time to stop making this harder on both of us.

Going against every single one of my convictions, I lean over and place my lips against his neck. He shivers and somehow it makes me feel better, so I keep kissing his neck until he pushes me away. My shirt is flung across the room, along with the pajamas I had been wearing. Jace repositions us, so he's propped up on his hands hovering above me.

I think maybe I should help him undress, but I don't know if I am ready for that yet. I am doing just enough to get by. I decide to try anyways. I slide my thumbs into the waistband of his track pants, and he wiggles out of them.

I do my best to just breathe as Jace positions himself between my legs. My head turns to the side, focusing on anything else. I imagine that I'm somewhere else, doing _anything _else, but I can't ignore it when he thrusts into me with one swift motion. I breathe out the word "Fuck." and Jace chuckles.

He occupies my brain, my skin and my nerves. His tongue dances with mine, and I moan softly into his mouth. I forget that this is wrong. That I never wanted this, and I forget that we are being watched.

Jace laces his fingers into my hair, a guttural noise rising from his throat. He gives me what I need as I observe him with lustful eyes.

-Jace Wayland-

_Fuuuuuuuuuck._

I am starving for her eyes. _Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. _I turn her chin toward me. She is wide eyed and shaking. Her lips tremble and she reaches up to kiss me. And then she... Flips us over. I let out a gasp in surprise.

I've never liked having a woman in control. Valentine has sent countless girls in to '_keep me happy while I wait for my wife to arrive' _as he said. I always liked to be on top, but Clary looks so good on top of me that I don't stop her. She blushes and bites her lip. "I don't really, um..." Clary pauses, looking down at her hands on my chest. "Know how. So, um... Just tell me what you like." _God, she's cute._

I clasp my hands on her waist, and she starts to move, slowly at first building up speed after a few moments. _Fuck! _"That." I breathe out. "I like that." Clary gives me a small smile and continues to move, while studying me for a reaction. She bounces up and down, sending waves of pleasure through me. "Clary!" I growl.

Her movements halt, and she looks like I've slapped her. "I'm sorry." She says softly.

"No." I say, realizing that she thinks she's done something wrong. "You're perfect. Don't stop." I thrust upward, burying myself in her. She winces, but doesn't pull away. She resumes what she was doing before, her hands on my chest to support her weight. Clary leans forward and takes my bottom lip between her teeth.

I groan, flipping us back over. Clary is the only woman I have ever enjoyed being underneath, but she looks fantastic looking up at me. I want to hear her moan. "Jace." She gasps my name, and our lips meet in a thunder clash. And then... Something unexpected happens. I pull out of her as quickly as I can, but it's too late. "Fuck!" I mutter. "Fuck, fuck, fuck!"

Clary sits up onto her elbows, eying me curiously. "What's wrong?" She says between breaths.

"I, um..." I sit back on my knees in front of her. "I didn't pull out in time."

She doesn't react. She just crawls out of the bed and says "I'm going to take a shower." Her lack of panic strikes me as strange, but I can't keep her out of my head. The way it feels to be inside of her. I know I sound like a dirty pervert, but I also think of her in other ways. I want to get to know her... Then fuck her hard in the shower.

-Clary Fray-

I lean against the cold tile, as warm water washes away the evidence of Jace. I feel dirty. I feel filthy because I _wanted _it.

I wonder if he's remembering the way it felt when I breathed "Fuck." into his ear, or how it sounded when I moaned into his mouth. I can still feel him between my legs. And I feel dirty, because I like the way he feels inside me.

**It's short, I know. But I didn't really know where to go from there.**

Review.

**-IWriteNaked.**


	20. Chapter 20

**Gaaah. Bear with me. 20 chapters, homebrew.**

**As always, when I include the lyrics to a song, I think you should listen to it.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments. I'm just dicking around. Oh, and I don't own "No Love" by Simple Plan.**

-Clary Fray-

"You're not going to say anything?" Jace mutters after what seems like a lifetime of silence.

I deadpan. "What do you want me to say?"

He shrugs. "Aren't you worried at all? I don't know about you, but parenting wasn't really part of my escape plan." He smirks, but worry lingers in his expression.

"Would it be bad to say I can't bring myself to be worried about that?" I ask. Jace raises an eyebrow at me. _Show off... _"There are too many other things to worry about. I don't have the energy for one more." I can't even look at him anymore. I move to the window seat, setting my gaze on the garden.

Jace moves to sit beside me, closer than I expected. I pretend to be absorbed in whatever is happening outside, but he doesn't seem to notice my desire to stop talking. Jace leans toward me, placing his hand on my cheek to turn my face in his direction. _I can't believe he's trying to kiss me right now. _"Don't." I tell him, pushing his hand away.

He backs up slowly. "Stop being so cute if I'm not allowed to kiss you." Jace shuts his eyes and bites down on his lip, like he's just said something he didn't mean to. Under protest, I laugh a little. His eyes open, and he reaches out for me again.

I unhinge myself from him, moving back away from the window. "Don't touch me." I whisper.

Jace stands. "Clary..."

I whirl away from him. "I'll do whatever I have to. I won't fight you anymore. Just..." I push my hair back, choking down the '_before tears' _lump in my throat that's making it hard to speak. "Don't make this into something it's not. I don't need you to act like it means anything." I instantly regret going off on him.

I don't even have time to apologize before he hits me with a response. "Do you think this is _easy _for _me_? I don't want this any more than you do!" He grabs my shoulder, spinning me to face him. "I know you miss your family, but you aren't the only one." I lift my eyebrows at him. He only mentioned his dead mother and a father he hardly knew. "I have a little sister. She's named Celine, after my step mother. She's turning 14 this month, and I don't even know what she looks like anymore. I haven't seen her since she was 11."

"Jace..." I try to tell him I'm sorry, but the words don't come. After several moments of silence he shoves past me, slamming the door behind him.

-Jace Wayland-

I stumble blindly toward the piano. My mind is hazy, and this is the only way I know to clear the fog that's settled into my brain. My fingers flit comfortably across the keys.

**(No Love by Simple Plan)**

**Staring out into the world across the street.**

**You hate the way your life turned out to be.**

**He's pulling up in the driveway, and you don't make a sound.**

**'Cause you always learn to hold the things you want to say.**

**You're always gonna be afraid.**

**There's only hate.**

**There's only tears.**

**There's only pain.**

**There is no love here.**

**Oh, so what will you do?**

**There's only lies.**

**There's only fears.**

**There's only pain.**

**There is no love here.**

**Broken down like a mirror smashed to pieces.**

**You learned the hard way to shut your mouth and smile.**

**If these walls could talk they would have so much to say.**

**'Cause every time you fight the scars are gonna heal but they're never gonna go away.**

**There's only hate.**

**There's only tears.**

**There's only pain.**

**There is no love here.**

**Oh so what will you do?**

**There's only lies.**

**There's only fears.**

**There's only pain.**

**There is no love here.**

**Oh no, So what will you do?**

**You're falling, you're screaming.**

**You're stuck in the same old nightmare.**

**He's lying, you're crying.**

**There's nothing left to salvage.**

**Kick the door 'cause this is over.**

**Get me out of here.**

**(Kick the door)**

**There's only hate.**

**There's only tears.**

**There's only pain.**

**There is no love here.**

**Oh, so what will you do?**

**There's only lies.**

**There's only fears.**

**There's only pain.**

**There is no love here.**

**Tell me, what will you do?**

**There's only hate.**

**There's only tears.**

**There's only pain.**

**There is no love here. **

When I look up, Simon is standing in the doorway. He closes it with a quiet click. "You only play the piano when you're upset." He says. "And I've never heard you singing before, so I'm going to assume you're _really _upset." Master splinter crosses the room, pulling a stool beside my piano bench.

"Piss off, Knobby." I can't bring myself to sound angry.

"You don't even mean that, Wayland." Simon observes.

"Yes I do, fuckface. You're disgusting. I once saw a rat gag at the sight of you." I sound more convincing with this insult, but Rat-Face still isn't buying it.

"Yeah, we're all well aware that you hate me, Jace. However, you need someone to talk to, and if it was something Alec would understand you already would have gone to him with it. So, talk to me." Simon smiles warmly, which causes him to look even more like Master Splinter.

I shake my head. "I have zero doubts that you would understand. You know all about brutal rejection, but I really don't want to talk."

Simon looks taken back. "Clary hates you." He says it as if it's a widely known fact, rather than a question. "Because of what Valentine made you do." _Of course he knows. Alec told Izzy. Izzy told everyone else._

I shake my head. "Hate would mean that she feels _something. _We just had sex, and it was incredible. It was the first time she was really into it." I look into his dark eyes, but he doesn't seem at all offset by this information. "Well, I kind of thought it would be different after..." _God, I sound like a girl._

"But it wasn't?" Simon asks.

"No." I run my hands through my hair. "She's the fucking Ice Queen. She said it didn't mean anything. But it meant something to _me._"

Simon opens his mouth to reply, but is interrupted by the one voice in this world that makes me want to burn villages. "Isn't that sweet. Jace Wayland has a crush."

Simon stands up. "Sebastian, I'm choosing right now not to punch you in your self righteous, creepy face. Go away, and leave Jace and Clary alone." I've never heard Simon threaten anyone before.

"Stay out of this, Lewis." Verlac barks. "I'd like to have a word with my dear friend, Jace."

I roll my eyes. "History will judge me harshly for not having killed you." Sebastian steps past Simon, toward me. "It's fine, Simon. Go back to your wife." Simon looks like he's about to protest, but I stand from my bench, shooting him a stern look. He exits the music room under protest. "What do you want, Verlac?"

Sebastian smirks. "I want to help you get out of here."

**Leave me reviews. It's my favorite.**

**-IWriteNaked**


	21. Chapter 21

**To the guest called Soulinriching: Hahahaha. I knew someone would ask eventually. The answer is... Yes. More often than I like to admit.**

**WARNING: There's some (mild) underage drinking in this chapter. Blah blah blah. You've been warned. Oh, and I think the fuck word is used more than usual. I apologize.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments.**

_Previously on Fatally Yours:_

_"What do you want, Verlac?"_

_Sebastian smirks. "I want to help you get out of here."_

-Jace Wayland-

I step around the piano, searching Sebastian's lightless eyes for motive. "What?"

He smirks. "Don't you want to go home, Jace?"

"Why would _you _want to help _me?" _I scoff.

Sebastian shakes his head, laughing. "Because I hate you, and I don't want you here any more than you do."

Realization sets in. "You think that with me gone, you can have Clary."

He cocks his head to the side. "You aren't as moronic as you look."

I groan at his petty insult. "I'm not leaving her. Or any of them." I step around him, toward the door. "Forget it."

His hand clasps on my shoulder, spinning me to face him. "She doesn't even like you, Wayland." He growls. "She never will, after what you did to her. She's _afraid _of you."

I deadpan. "Are you fucking joking? I was keeping her alive, you son of a bitch. You tried to force yourself on her twice!"

"And you _did _force yourself on her." _This little fucker is so smug. _"Don't think that what you've done is a cardinal sin, punishable by nothing." He drops his hand from my shoulder, ducks his head and bows out of the room. I can only watch him go. He's right, and I hate him more for it.

I stagger down the hallway, through a door, ignoring Isabelle and Simon on the couch. In the back of the refrigerator is a bottle of clear liquid. It burns going down. "Jace?" Simon says.

I actively ignore him, taking another swig of the vodka. I slam the door of the fridge, leaving Izzy and Simon behind, bottle in hand.

In our room, Clary sits beside the window. She stands up when she sees me, leaving her sketchbook in the seat. She crosses the room slowly, approaching me as if I'm a wounded animal. Studying me for signs of violence or intentions to flee. Her eyes never leave mine.

She doesn't quit walking until she's close enough to feel the heat from her body. Clary takes the bottle from my hand, but it's too late. I already drank a ton, and I'm starting to feel it. She looks from me, to the bottle and back at me. "Are you drunk?"

I smile at her like an idiot. _Why am I smiling? I'm not even fucking happy. _That stupid smile falls from my face and I say "I'm getting there."

I reach for the bottle, but Clary back steps. "I think you've had enough." She turns away from me, placing the bottle on the night stand and motions for me to sit down on the bed. I flop down dizzily.

I want nothing more than to pull her into my arms and tell her everything. I'd hoped being drunk would drown the butterflies, but those fuckers are still alive. All I can say is "Clary..."

Her name is an anthem. I say it slowly, letting it roll off my tongue, and land in the open space between us. It sounds like pure silver, bowing across my vocal cords. Her name is a synonym for perfection, and she is an antonym for me. _Holy fuck, I'm writing sappy poetry in my head. I shouldn't drink._

Clary stands in front of me. Her slender arms reach out, her delicate hands pressing into my back like wet cement.

-Clary Fray-

Jace pulls me down beside him, and we lay down, my head on his chest. I want to move away from him, but I think he needs affection and comfort more than I need space.

I catch him reaching for the bottle again. "Jace, don't."

He rolls his head toward me. "I'm not that drunk." He slurs.

"Okay." I resign. "If you're going to continue drinking then I'm gonna go somewhere else."

His arms tighten around me. "No, please stay." He begs. "I'm sorry. I'll stop." He speaks like a small child, begging for his parents forgiveness. I settle back into his arms. Jace leans down and presses his lips to my forehead. "You don't know how badly I've wanted to hold you like this."

I sigh into his chest. "You're drunk, Jace."

"I'm not that drunk. Ask me about this later, and I'll tell you the same thing." His hands go into my hair, and he starts humming. I fall asleep to the sound of his heartbeat, and the gentle babble of his voice.

**I'm sorry it's short. Writers block. But awwww, the Clace!**

**-IWriteNaked**


	22. Chapter 22

**Shout out to the guest who said "That's perfect... Like cheese." Because I can't think of a better compliment.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments.**

-Clary Fray-

I wake up to hands in my hair and the sound of faint but steady breathing. Jace smiles down at me. He reeks of booze. "How long was I sleeping?" I ask, tiredly.

Jace glances quickly at the wall clock. "About twenty minutes."

I groan, resting my head back on his shoulder. "You're still drunk."

Jace pats my hair affectionately. "You're so observant, Clary."

"This is precious. I'm sorry to interrupt." My stomach sinks when I hear Valentine's voice.

Jace snickers. "Hey Val!" He lays there, slack jawed and slumped into the pillow, one hand raised to wave at Valentine.

"Jace is intoxicated." _Val _says, disappointedly.

I try to wriggle out of his arms, but he tightens his grip on me. "I am the soberest person in this world!" Jace slurs. He leans closer to my ear, but forgets to lower his voice. "I'm pissed, but don't tell Val."

Valentine sighs. "Clarissa, I called to summon you all to dinner in an hour. You may dress casually. Have your husband under control when I come to escort everyone to the Dining Hall." _Click._

Jace nuzzles his face in my hair. "He's grumpy."

I squirm in his arms. "Let go, Jace. I need to get you some water."

He shakes his head. "I don't need water."

"Yes you do, Jace."

He frowns. "Fine. But only because you asked soooo nicely." I roll my eyes when he drags out the o in so.

Slipping out of his arms I tell him "I'll be right back."

Simon and Izzy turn toward me when I enter the TV room. "Hey Clary." Izzy says cheerily.

"Hey Iz. Simon." I wave, and pull a large bottle of water from the fridge.

"Is Jace drunk?" Simon asks, looking concerned.

I nod my head. "Yeah, I have to sober him up before dinner in an hour."

He chuckles. "Good luck, Fray."

"See you at dinner." Says Isabelle as I exit the room.

When I return, Jace is sprawled out on the bed where I left him. "Clary!" He says enthusiastically. "What took you so long?" He asks the entire question as if it's only one word.

"I was gone for like 47 seconds." I shake my head and offer the water to him. "Drink this."

Jace pushes the bottle away. "No thank you. I already had a beverage while you were gone." He gestures toward the vodka on the nightstand. There's less left than before.

I groan loudly. "Jace!" When he reaches for me, I swat his hand away. "You're supposed to be sobering up, not drinking more."

He smiles innocently. "I'm sorry Clare...y. I will drink the water if you stop being mad at me." He pouts, reaching for the bottle in my hand. I let him take it, and he watches me mournfully as he takes a long drink. "All better."

I spend the next hour keeping him away from the vodka, and forcing as much water into him as he'll let me. It helps a little, but an hour wasn't long enough. Even when he's drunk, Jace walks more gracefully than I do. Valentine smiles when he sees us.

In the Dining Hall, we're instructed to sit beside our '_partners'._ Jace sits on one side of me, and Sebastian is at the end like last time. Right beside me. I squirm uncomfortably in my seat. He and Jace shoot each other sharp looks, while Magnus settles into the seat across from me. "Is there another announcement to be made?" Jordan asks.

Sebastian snickers and Valentine says "After dinner. Be patient, my children."

We sit in silence until Max and the other boy from before bring our food. Max smiles at Isabelle and Alec before exiting the room. Simon hugs Isabelle, comforting her. they whisper something too quiet for me to hear.

Sebastian nudges my foot with his under the table. "How are you?" He asks.

I pretend to be absorbed in poking my salad with a fork. "She doesn't want to be your friend anymore." Jace tells him, leaning back in his chair. "She told me you're not being nice." He whispers.

Sebastian rolls his eyes. "Stay out of this, drunkard."

Jace mocks hurt. "I am not a drunkard! I'm just... drunk." _He's finally admitting it. _

They go on like this for the durations of dinner. Magnus looks at me apologetically. "Can we just get to this announcement now?" Magnus asks, yelling over everyone's obnoxious chatter. "I'm sick of listening to these two neanderthals fight over Clary."

Valentine nods, his black eyes unblinking. "If you insist." He clears his throat. "In three months we will have another boy coming to occupy the vacant room on your floor." He smiles widely, looking at us expectantly. No one smiles back. "We have not found a wife for him yet, bit we will. His name is Jonathan Fray."

I gasp. Everyone is looking at me. "No!" I yell, shooting out of my chair. It falls over behind me. I am screaming, letting everything gush out of me. "Leave my brother out of this!" I've been holding my anger in for too long, like a dormant volcano. It's been awakened. Unlocked by a simple name.

I slam my fist down on the table, mimicking the battle raging in my mind.

**... Jon's coming! :D :(**

**Review! I'll see you Wednesday.  
**

**-IWriteNaked**


	23. Chapter 23

**Happy Mother's Day! (I'm a bad daughter for being here instead of with my mom...) Sorry to everyone who didn't want Jonathan to come in. It's happening. I have plans.**

**I'm having too much fun writing Drunk Jace. So, it's still happening.**

**To the guest who mentioned the pairings in the summary: Originally I intended for everyone else to be a bigger part of the story, but just never really got around to writing them in. They're still there because they're mentioned and you see them enough that it's still okay to have them there. The story isn't nearly over, so there may be more of the other couples later, but Clary is the main character. Sorry if it was misleading.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments.**

_Previously on Fatally Yours:_

_"In three months we will have another boy coming to occupy the vacant room on your floor." He smiles widely, looking at us expectantly. No one smiles back. "We have not found a wife for him yet, bit we will. His name is Jonathan Fray."_

_I gasp. Everyone is looking at me. "No!" I tell, shooting out of my chair. It falls over behind me. I am screaming, letting everything gush out of me. "Leave my brother out of this!" I've been holding my anger in for too long, like a dormant volcano. It's been awakened. Unlocked by a simple name._

_I slam my fist down on the table, mimicking the battle raging in my mind._

-Clary Fray-

Jace reaches for my hand. His eyes are glassy, and his lips form a straight line. "Clary..." I let him take my hand, but ignore his attempts to make me sit down. He squeezes my hand gently.

"Please." I say, closing my eyes tightly. "Leave Jonathan alone."

"Clarissa," Valentine starts. "I thought you would be happy. You said you missed him."

"I do." I blurt. "I want to be with him, but that doesn't mean I want him here." My voice shakes at the end, and I straighten my spine. "I want him to be safe and happy. Don't bring him here. I'm begging you." I try to plead with my eyes, but Valentine just stares back lifelessly.

Valentine shakes his head, standing from his chair taking long strides in my direction. "I assure you, your brother will not be harmed, Clarissa." I take a step toward him, my hand curled into a tight fist.

"Maybe not physically. You're all about mental fuckery." I mumble, pulling my hand out of Jace's grasp. He makes a _'hmmph' _noise in protest, but lets go.

"Hold your tongue, young lady." Valentine demands. I'm reminded of Luke telling me to watch my language. Before I know what's happening, my palm collides with his sharp cheekbone, sending a deafening crack through the room.

Valentine is wide eyed, making absolutely no movements. I take advantage of his surprise, ramming my fist into his gut as hard as I can. I might not look like much, but I can hit pretty hard.

Valentine doubles over, and I slam my knee into his jaw. Strong arms wrap around my waist, pulling me back. "Clary, stop!" I trash against Jace's chest. "Calm down." He pats my head like I'm a dog. It doesn't really help to make me any less angry.

"Let go!" I try to kick Valentine, but he's out of my reach. I push hard against Jace's arms. I scream and fight, but he just holds me until my fists weaken against his chest, my knees buckle and he helps me to my seat.

Sebastian glares with more purpose than ever before. Jace gets to work on downing another glass of wine. _As if he needed more alcohol. _I don't try to stop him. Instead, I start on my own untouched glass. I hate it just as much as last time, but ignore the foul taste and drink it anyways.

"That was unacceptable, Clarissa." Valentine says, rubbing his jaw.

I look away from him and mutter "It felt good." into my glass.

"I'd be glad to punish her for you, father." Sebastian said suggestively, in a low and rough voice. _Gross._

Jace grabs the underside of my chair, dragging me closer to him, and puts his arm over my shoulder. He shoots Sebastian a look that says _'Mine.' _I lean into him, just to be sure Sebastian gets the message.

Valentine shakes his head. "Jace, take your bride to bed. I will let her off with a warning this time." Jace nods, quickly downing the last of his wine. "Sebastian, escort them to their floor."

Jace trips through the doorway, and immediately strips his shirt off when we enter our bedroom. His jeans are the next to go. "Um... Jace." I say.

He looks at me as if he didn't realize I'm here. He shrugs. "You've seen me naked before." He snickers. "I saw you looking at my junk the first day we met." He stumbles over to the bed, slipping under the white down comforter. "Pervert."

I shake my head, reaching into the dresser for pajamas. "Yeah, I'm the pervert." I close the door behind me and change quickly. When I come back out, Jace is staring blankly at the cover of _I Am Not A Serial Killer. _

He sets it back where it was when I get in the bed. "C'mere." He slurs, opening his arms. I think about protesting, but decide that winning an argument with Jace when he's drunk is even more impossible than winning an argument with Jace when he's sober.

My hand slides up his stomach and he starts laughing uproariously, pulling away from me. "What?" I ask.

"You're tickling me!" He continues to laugh.

I raise my hands in mock surrender. "I didn't mean to."

He scoots back toward me. "It's okay, _Clarissa."_ He mocks Valentine's tone. "I forgive you."

I start to settle back in when he starts laughing again. "I'm not even touching you." I complain.

Jace's laughter thickens. "I know! I'm laughing in anticipation!"

His laughter is contagious, and I find myself laughing along with him. "I promise not to tickle you." I offer him my pinky and he grins, wrapping his pinky around mine and shaking. "Can we go to sleep now?"

Jace nods, his blond curls falling over golden eyes. He clicks off the lamp and pulls me to his chest. The moon has gone dark and I can't see where I am anymore. "Clary?" Jace whispers.

"Yeah?" I whisper back, through the darkness.

"I'm sorry I had to break up your beat down on Val." He pauses. "And I'm sorry they're going to steal your brother."

-Morning-

Jace rubs the back of his neck, awkwardly. "Sorry about... Last night." He says.

I jam my thumb into my orange peel, pulling a chunk off. "It's fine." I toss the hunk of peel into the trash can.

"No it's not." He shakes his head. "You were all messed up about your brother, and I was too drunk to help you."

I peel the rest of my orange before responding. "There wasn't anything you could have done anyways. And you're funny when you're drunk."

Jace puts up a fake hurt expression. "I am always funny, Clary."

"Jon won't think so. He's going to beat you up if he finds out what's going on here."

His smile falls. "I can't blame him." Jace bites into the apple he'd been tossing into the air and catching repeatedly. "Well, I am going to go read now. John Wayne Cleaver was going to Freak Lake, which is obviously code word for shacking up with Brooke." I shake my head as he exits the room, and I turn on the TV to watch Adventure Time.

**Okay, time to go see my mother. Have a good day, guys.**

**Review.**

**-IWriteNaked**


	24. Chapter 24

**Hey guys! It's Monday, and I'm updating. I know. This week is all out of whack, because of Graduation. So, I won't be updating on Wednesday or Friday. But I will be updating all of the other days this week. My schedule for the week is all off the frick frack. Sorry!  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments.**

-Clary Fray-

"Yeah? Sometimes I think you're an idiot and should shut up." Says Jace, throwing his banana peel at Simon. It slaps against Simon's chest, and falls to the floor. He picks it up, and I take it from his hands and throw it away before they can start an all out war.

Simon rolls his eyes. "I would call you an asshole, but far less shit comes out of an asshole."

Jace sinks down onto the couch with a _'hmmph'_ and crosses his arms over his chest. "You are the opposite of Batman."

Simon gasps, shooting daggers at Jace. "You take that back!"

Jace shakes his head stubbornly. They've been going back and forth for so long that I can't recall what it is they're arguing about. I'm not convinced that they remember either. "You are a sad, lonely little man." Says Jace, shaking his hair out of his eyes.

Simon slumps down beside Isabelle on the other couch. She and I share a look that says something along the lines of _'Kill me.'_ It's been two weeks since Valentines announcement about Jonathan. Izzy is starting to show, a little bit. I'm not sure how far along she is. She probably doesn't know either, considering we can't go to the doctor. _Who will deliver the baby?_

I look down at my own stomach, frowning. I have no idea what I'll do if Jace got me pregnant. It's been two weeks since the incident. I am supposed to start any day now, so I guess we'll find out soon.

He's been weird since his little stunt with the vodka... And the wine. Whenever we're alone, he pretends to be absorbed in reading _I Am Not A Serial Killer, _but I haven't seen him turn the page even once. I try to leave him alone, nonetheless.

Isabelle curls into Simon's side, looking incandescently happy. I sit on the opposite side of the couch as Jace. There's no denying that I'm attracted to him. I might have the teensiest crush on him, but I wouldn't know how to let him know if I wanted to. He still scares the shit out of me. Thinking of him in that way makes me feel dirty.

I don't want to downplay the severity of this situation by falling for him. He probably won't be alive for long anyways. Jonathan is going to kill him when he gets here. I miss my brother. I'm excited to see him, but I don't want him to be stuck here. It's causing all kinds of conflicting emotions.

Jace and Simon throw insults back and forth for far too long. Isabelle and I do our best to ignore them.

Magnus enters the room, still in his pajamas. "G'morning."

"It's three in the afternoon, Maggy." Jace says.

Magnus shrugs and plops down on the couch between us. "Had a late night." He winks as Alec enters the room. Alec blushes a deep red.

Jace coughs in surprise. "Don't tell us any more. Please."

Isabelle giggles. "Gross! I don't want to know!"

Magnus grins. "Whatever you say, preggers."

Alec sits down beside Isabelle. "So..." Alec says, awkwardly. "What's going on?"

"Mass genocide." Says Simon.

Jace rolls his eyes. "Simon, I love it when you SHUT THE HELL UP. It's my favorite."

"You don't have to validate how dumb you are. Stop talking." Simon rolls his head to the side, resting his cheek on Izzy's head.

"Oh, by the Angel." I mumble. "Does it ever stop?"

Magnus and Isabelle say "Never." in unison.

"Let's play a drinking game!" Izzy suggests, excitedly.

Alec deadpans. "Iz, you can't drink." He points to her stomach, and she frowns.

"I'll drink water or something." She brushes him off.

Jace shakes his head. "It's three in the afternoon."

"That didn't stop you before." I tease. I've never been drunk before. The first time I had any type of alcohol was on my _'wedding night' _and it was just a little... Now doesn't seem like a good time to start.

Jace glares at me, and Simon laughs. "Okay, fine." says Isabelle. "It was a bad idea, but I am on life support over this boredom. Let's do _something._"

"Let's play truth or dare!" Magnus suggests.

"Are we twelve?" I ask, sarcastically. I _hate _truth or dare.

"Let's do it!" Jace demands.

"I'm in." Alec announces.

Isabelle and Simon say "Me too." I groan, and accept it.

We all migrate to the library, by Magnus' request. Something about more space in there. We sit around the table toward the back, and Simon starts. "Jace." He says. "Truth or dare?"

Jace cocks his head to the side. "Dare."

Simon taps his finger against his chin, thinking of all the strange things he could make Jace do to get back at him. "I dare you to snort some glitter out of Magnus' hair."

Isabelle, Alec and I snicker, and Magnus shrugs. Jace approaches him slowly. He buries his face in Magnus' hair, and inhales deeply then flops back into the chair beside me, wiping glitter from his nose. "Isabelle." Jace says.

Izzy shakes her head ferociously. "Truth!"

Jace boo's her. "Loser!" She glares at him. "Okay. How do you not throw up every time you sleep with Simon?"

"Jace!" Isabelle protests.

"It's a legitimate question." He defends.

Izzy shakes her head. "You're ridiculous." She turns to me. "Clary!"

I sink lower into my seat. "Truth?" I don't even want to know what she would make me do.

She smiles. "I'll go easy, for now, since you're all innocent." I nod, gratefully. "Tell us about your first kiss."

I look down at my hands in my lap and mumble "It was Jace." I glance up with only my eyes.

Izzy looks taken back. "Really!?" I nod my head again. "That's so cute!" she squeals. I force a smile, and Jace shoots a nervous glance in my direction.

"Magnus."

He grins. "Dare. Bring it on!" _Damnit. I suck at dares._

I shrug. "I'm no good at this. Um..." I pause, trying to think of something good to make him do.

Alec snickers. "Make him remove all of his glitter."

"Make him call Valentine and then just sit there sniffing his armpit." Simon suggests.

Jace howls in laughter. "Make him eat Izzy's cooking."

**sorry for a super awkward/boring filler chapter.**

**-MyNameIsActuallyAshleigh.**


	25. Chapter 25

**You guys are too funny. A lot of people wanted me to continue the truth or dare... I tried but... I've got nothing. Hah. Sorry. Maybe they'll play again in the future.**

**WARNING: Clary and Jace are messin' up the bed in this chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments.**

-Clary Fray-

"I can't believe Magnus actually called Valentine and sniffed his armpit." I laugh, collapsing on the bed, next to Jace.

He shakes his head. "Magnus will do anything."

"Evidently." I say, and we lapse again into silence. He's still being distant. When I tried to ask him what's wrong, he made some sarcastic remark and went back to staring blankly at the same page he's been 'reading' for days.

"That was an interesting game you had going." Jace turns his eyes toward the speaker. _Fucking shit. Valentine._

"We were so bored that we were going into cardiac arrest." Says Jace. "We had to do something."

Valentine chuckles. "And now it's time to do _something _else."

"Why do you think sex is the solution to everything?" Jace groans.

"Because it is." Valentine answers, sarcastically. The fact that he's making a joke seems so eccentric. "I've left the two of you alone for two weeks, children. The sexual tension in that room is radiating off the screen. Do it." Valentine clicks off, indicating that there is no further discussion to be had.

Jace whispers "Fuck." under his breath, putting his head in his hands.

I get out of the bed, and stand in front of the window with my arms crossed tightly over my chest. The sun is going down, setting fire to the horizon. The sun shines behind the clouds in the exact color of Jace's eyes. He comes up behind me, wrapping his arms around me. "Are you okay?"I ask, leaning into him.

He places his chin easily on the top of my head. We stand there, just looking out at the garden for a moment. The pond in the middle catches the light blindingly. "Yeah, are you?" He asks.

I turn to face him. He keeps his hands on my hips. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"You're shaking." He says, reaching for my hands. He's right. They're trembling.

I ignore his observation. "Just take off your clothes." I sigh.

Jace grins. "I thought you'd never ask." I roll my eyes and seconds later his shirt hits the floor. His chest heaves up and down with his breathing. He chuckles when he sees me staring. I avert my eyes, blushing bright red. Jace places his hand under my chin, looking into my eyes with such reckless devotion. It makes me want to collect all of his broken pieces and bring them back together.

He leans down, placing his lips against mine. He kisses me until the only flavor we have left is each others names. My back presses against the wall, and Jace takes my hand. He presses it firmly against his chest. I can feel him smiling against my lips. My stomach does back flips, and I let my hand fall. I wiggle my jeans down over my hips and kick them off. Jace does the same, then pulls my t-shirt over my head, causing my hair to stick out in every direction. He chuckles, smoothing it out for me.

There's something so angelic about the electricity flowing from his fingertips. Caressing the most delicate regions of my skin. I want him so bad it hurts. _God, Clary! You're disgusting. _Jace throws me onto the bed, abandoning our underclothes on the blue carpet. I trace his spine with shaky fingers. He smiles at me so brightly that it dismantles every piece of me that's still resisting.

I stammer as I swallow my feelings, pretending that the way I feel about him isn't threatening to spill out every time we kiss. Our bodies write beautifully intricate lyrics, and it makes me want to be his favorite song. He makes music out of me.

Jace rolls off of me, puts his clothing on and leaves the room. As I lay there in the aftershock, I want to ask him to stay.

-Jace Wayland-

Her body is fucking beautiful. I should be glad that she's cooperating, and even participating. Shouldn't I? Making love is the most honest thing there is. So why do I feel like the only liar here? It means more to me than it does to her.

She's welcomed me with open arms, but the second it's over I knew she would push me away again. I couldn't take the rejection. I've spend days trying to shake this feeling, but it isn't going away. The more I try to push her away, the more she tries to get close. I want to let her in, but I don't think she really wants to be anything more than we are now. She wants to be less. I can't be angry about that, but I wish things were different.

**Aw, poor Jace. But the CLACE.**

**Review? Sorry it's so short. I'm busy, yo! See you Thursday.  
**

**-IWriteNaked**


	26. Chapter 26

**Dude. Over 500 reviews. That's exciting.  
**

**To the Guest called Flabberknot: Nope. Instagram is also IWriteNaked. Pretty much everything is. No idea where that question came from.**

WARNING: Rapey lemon.  


**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments.**

-Jace Wayland-

By the time I enter our bedroom again, Clary is already asleep. She's laying on her side, facing away from the door, with the blanket pulled up over her shoulder. Her hair is damp, laying in soft waves across her pillow. she rolls over when I slip into the bed. "Jace." She whispers, tiredly. "I didn't think you were coming back." The sadness in her voice threatens to slice through the wall I've built. I don't reply to her. I just lay flat on my back and stare blankly into the darkness. "You're mad at me." Clary says, pushing the blankets off herself. She flicks on the lamp.

"I'm not mad." I say numbly.

She brings her knees to her chest, leaning against the head board. "Then why are you acting this way?"

I scoff. "Like _what?_" She cringes at my tone.

"Like _that._" Says Clary. "You've been distant for days..." She looks away from me, taking a deep breath. "Then you just left today, like nothing happened."

Anger flares in my chest. "You do the same thing all the time. Why should I stay if you won't? You're the one who said not to make this into something it's not."

Clary flinches. "I'm sorry." She looks at her feet, with unimaginable grief, threatening to soften my hardened heart. "I just didn't want you to feel obligated to be anything more. All I meant was that you don't have to act like it meant anything to you."

"I'm just doing what you said, Clary." I want to tell her that it _does _mean something to me, but something tells me she wouldn't believe it. "We could argue endlessly, but I don't know what you want me to do. I've _tried _to make this easier for you, but either way you hate me."

Clary finally looks at me, as if she's been looking for me. She shakes her head, slides off the bed and walks toward the door. Just before the door closes behind her, she tells me "I don't hate you. I hate myself."

-Clary Fray-

I tell myself not to cry, sinking into the bed that Jonathan will sleep in soon. I've been counting the days. Part of me wishes he was here already. I need him right now. I want to hear him sing, and tell him about everything that's happened. He would know what to do.

Of course, I can't tell him even after he gets here. He'd go ballistic, and kill Jace. That wouldn't fix things between us, it would make it worse. _Ugh. What am I supposed to do?_

-One week later-

Jace groans when Valentine hangs up. "Come here." He says to me. It's the first thing he's said to me in a week.

He leans back against the wall, still in his pajamas. His dark blue, plaid pants hang low in his hips, and he didn't bother to put on a shirt yet. I shake my head, refusing his request.

Jace sighs, tilting his head to the side a little. "Come here, Clary." He says, more firmly.

I take in a shaky breath and say "No, Jace."

He looks at me with such pure, unadulterated hatred, I feel a deep ache in my chest. I know it's probably just a physical reaction from stress causing my heart to squeeze tighter than normal, but the pain is real. It feels a lot like heartbreak. I back up to the wall on the other side of the room. His expression doesn't soften. "We have to." He says simply. "You heard Valentine."

He pushes off the wall, crossing the room to where I stand. I slap his hand away before it reaches me. "Don't."

Jace ducks his head, looking at me through his eyelashes. His most attractive expression. He sighs again. "You said you wouldn't fight anymore." He reminds me.

I swallow hard, trying to get rid of the lump in my throat. "That was before you ignored me for a week."

Jace deadpans. "What do you want me to say?" He yells. "I'm sorry we're in this situation. I'm sorry I tried to comfort you, and it made you uncomfortable. I'm sorry you're a cold hearted bitch!"

I blink back tears, straighten out my spine and turn to leave the room. Jace grabs my arm. "We still have to do this, Clary. It doesn't matter how angry you are right now, I'm not letting you die over it."

A single tear overflows from my eye, but Jace doesn't see it. He's leaned me over the edge of the bed. He stands behind me, lowers both of our pants just enough to get this over with.

He pushes into me hard. His hand knots into my hair. I close my eyes tightly. "You're hurting me."

Jace grunts, and loosens his grip on my hair. His hand trails down my back softly. I bury my face in the blanket, and finally let myself cry. His movements become more gentle. He pulls out of me just long enough to flip me over, and scoot both of us onto the bed.

I turn my head to the side when he tries to kiss me. "Hey, don't cry." He wipes at the tears on my cheeks. "I'm sorry I called you a bitch. I didn't mean it."

Jace turns my face back toward his. "Stop trying to kiss me." I say.

He take his bottom lip between his teeth. "Okay. Whatever you want."

I look away from him again, but I can feel his gaze on my face. It feels like forever before he rolls off of me. Neither of us move. We just lay there in very awkward silence, feeling like shit. "I really fucked this up." He says.

I shake my head, and lace our fingers together. "No, I did."

He rolls onto his side and pulls me into his arms. "I could have been nicer about... This. But I was mad." He gestures toward our naked bodies. "Please don't hate me."

"I don't."

**Sorry if this chapter is a bit.. bitter.**

**Review? See you guys on Saturday! Sorry this week is all out of whack.**

**-IWriteNaked**


	27. Chapter 27

**I know I said I was only saying this once, but the message apparently wasn't clear: I know my chapters are short. I write five chapters every week, so they're going to be short.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments.**

-Jonathan Fray-

The police haven't done shit. My sister has been missing for nearly a month, and they've got _nothing. _I told them the names she gave me, and they just stared blankly at me.

I sit down on Clary's bed. Her orange walls are covered in her artwork, taunting me. This was the last place I saw her. They took Clary from her bed, in the middle of the night while everyone was sleeping. I went to wake her up in the morning. I thought she'd finally gotten through the night without having a nightmare. I thought she was getting better, but when I entered her room that morning she was gone. I should have been there to save her. I've spent 16 years protecting her, and now she's gone. I feel so obliterated.

I keep waiting for her to call me again, but when my phone rings it's never her. My heart riots against my rib cage every time I hear my ringtone.

Clary's door flies open, and Luke stands on the other side. "Are you okay, Jonathan?"

I nod my head, white hair falling over my eyes. "Yeah, I'm fine." I lie, but I think he's caught the sadness in my black eyes.

"We're going to find her." Luke assures me.

I laugh humorlessly. "What if we don't find her, Luke? And what if we do, and they've done something terrible to her?" Several images flash in my mind, but I push them away.

Luke crosses the room and sits beside me on Clary's mattress. "you never told me what she said when she called you."

"That she misses me. That she's okay." I answer. "And there was someone called Sebastian. She said he was nice, but it didn't sound like she meant it. He certainly didn't sound nice when he took the phone away from her, and hung up. What if he's hurt her?"

The only man that's ever come close to being a father figure to me nods his head. "Whatever has happened, she still loves you."

"I'm not worried about that." I tell him. "I'm worried we won't get her back. And if we do, what then? She's been through too much already. Part of her remembers what dad did. She dreams about him, Luke."

"Clary is stronger than you think, Jon." Luke looks at me apologetically. "She's always been your best friend. When she has her night terrors, we always thought she needed you. But no one ever mentioned the fact that you need her too. After your brother went missing, you clung to her."

-Clary Fray-

I watch him from across the library. How am I supposed to feel? I've spent most of my time for the last month with Jace, and I still haven't the slightest clue of who he is. His mood swings are throwing me off.

One moment he's filled with remorse. Then he's yelling at me, and just _fucking _me. _Hurting _me... And finally he's holding me, whispering apologies for as long as I'll let him. It's like he's a different person sometimes, and I don't always like the front he puts up. Which one is real?

I like who he is right now. Standing tall and strong, smiling at Alec, the way my brother smiles at me. I want to believe that he's good. That _this _is who Jace Wayland is, but my nerves still remember when he was angry. When he wanted to get back at me, for making him suffer. I still get scared when he reaches for me.

Maia nudges me. "You're quiet."

I smile at her. "Sorry."

She raises her eyebrows. "Is something wrong?" She glances nervously at Jace.

I nod. "He's so... Inconsistent. I mean, so am I, but I have no idea what we are anymore."

Maia frowns. "Is Valentine still making you..." She trails off.

I let out a long exaggerated sigh. "Yes, but that's only a fraction of the problem." Maia nods her head, as if to say that she wants me to continue. "One minute he's mad at me, and the next he's being really sweet. I'm not sure if he hates me, or if he likes me."

Maia is about to reply when Isabelle plops down next to me. "I can't believe you two are leaving me out of girl talk. I didn't hear most of what you said, but Jace likes you."

Simon falls into the chair across the table from Isabelle. "Jace doesn't like anyone." He says, too loudly.

Across the room, Jace's tawny eyes move away from his best friend and watch me curiously. I shrug, and try to smile convincingly. He smiles back, and returns to his conversation with Alec. I glare at Simon for saying that too loudly.

Turning back to Isabelle, I say "Sometimes he acts like he does. But he also called me a cold hearted bitch, so..."

Simon chuckles. "He told me you were the Ice Queen." Isabelle glares at him, and he throws his hands up in surrender. "Izzy is right though. He likes you, and he doesn't know how to handle it."

I shake my head. "I'm going to bed."

Just as my hand touches the doorknob to our bedroom, the library door slams shut, and Jace takes deliberate steps toward me. He stands in front of me, rubbing the back of his neck. "Hey, Clary."

I pull at the ends of my hair. "Hey, Jace."

He straightens his spine, towering over me. His golden eyes lock onto mine and he bites his lips. It's almost too sexy for me to handle. "I want to show you something."

**I won't be able to update again until Tuesday. I think next week will be back to normal though, so that's good.**

**What do you think he wants to show her? Review.**

**-IWriteNaked**


	28. Chapter 28

**I said I was coming back on Tuesday, but things are all off the tracks over here right now so I didn't think anyone would object to me updating a day earlier than expected.**

Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments.

-Clary Fray-

Jace takes me by the hand and drags me toward the music room. He clicks the lock behind us. "What is it, Jace?" I ask, trying to pull my hand out of his.

"Sebastian showed me this before we hated each other." Jace answers. He moves his hand smoothly around the bottom of the piano, pulling out a key. "You can't tell anyone. Valentine can't know." I nod my head, as Jace peels back the area rug in the corner. Underneath, there's a small trap door, similar to the ones you see in horror movies leading to the cellar.

I watch curiously as he unlocks it, pulling back the door. It lands heavily on the floor, revealing a long staircase. Hesitantly, I follow him down. "There was a time Sebastian didn't constantly scowl at you?" I ask, teasingly, picturing Sebastian's scowl.

Jace chuckles, shaking his head. "We were friends once. When I first got here, he would come hang out with me. Before Magnus got here, and before everything with Eskil."

I try to picture the two of them as friends, but it seems so eccentric. So far from the truth, and I feel like I shouldn't be looking at it. "What made you stop being friends?"

We reach the bottom of the stairs, but I don't look away from Jace. He, however, doesn't look at me. "He started hurting girls. He's killed people, Clary. I've seen it."

I should have seen that coming, but a part of me could never connect to the concept. I have to stop thinking of Sebastian as if he's damaged, and I can somehow make him new. It doesn't matter how similar he looks to the kindhearted brother I've grown up with. I will myself to forget the way his voice sounds the same, when he's calm. He's not Jonathan. Still, thinking of him as a murderer is off, like an ill fitting suit. When I don't react, Jace places his fingers between my shoulder blades, leading me down a long narrow hallway. It's dark, and I blink several times waiting for my eyes to adjust to the dim lighting.

We turn sharply to the left, and there's a spiraling staircase. "What's going on?" I ask, stopping before Jace can pull me onto the first step.

He smiles, his teeth shining brightly in the dim light. "It's a surprise." I shake my head, but follow him anyways. At the top of the staircase, we come to a small dark room with a ladder on the far wall, leading up to a metal ceiling hatch.

Jace climbs to the top, forcing the hatch open. He disappears through the opening. "Clary? Are you coming up?"

I take a deep breath and ascend the ladder. The night sky appears above me, nothing but an eruption of stars and moonlight to punctuate the blackness. "Wow." I say breathily. "We're, um, on the roof."

Jace chuckles. "Yeah, we are." He steps away from the opening we came through, pulling me after him. "Sebby and I used to come up here all the time." He tells me. "When Valentine caught us, he was so mad. I don't know why. It's not like I can get down from here. Valentine took the key away, but Sebastian brought it back for me..." He blows out a long breath through his lips.

"You used to be close?" I ask.

Jace nods, pulling me down with him. He lays with his hands behind his head. I roll my head to the side, looking at him through the darkness. "We were best friends."

I can't picture them as anything other than what they are right now. All glares and angry remarks. "What happened?"

Jace sucks in a breath through his teeth. "There was this girl. Valentine brought her in to... _Entertain _is. He said we needed to learn how to satisfy a woman while he looked for our wives." He pauses, sitting up. I follow. "Sebastian liked her. He wanted to marry her, but that's not what she was here for, according to Valentine. She wasn't a suitable wife, he said. Sebastian got mad. He went off on a rampage and strangled her. He started beating girls that his father brought for him. I've lost count of how many girls he's raped and/or killed." Jace puts his head in his hands.

I reach out and place my hand on his back. It's the first time I've really made a move to comfort him. He must realize this too, because he lifts his head to look at me. "I'm sorry." I say.

"What for?"

I shake my head. "You've been stuck here for a really long time. I'm sorry you're unhappy."

Jace shakes his head. "I'm not unhappy." He says. I look at him and I know he's lying. He sighs. "Well, maybe a little. But not for the reason you think."

"Explain."

"I'm just sad to see you unhappy." He laces our fingers together, rubbing his thumb across the back of my hand.

I sigh. "There's something we need to talk about."

"Uh oh." Says Jace. "That's never good. Are you sleeping with Sebby again?"

"No!" I spit venomously. "Why would you even..." I sigh, and try to pull my hand away from Jace's but he doesn't let go. "I don't know how to say this, so I'm just... I think I'm pregnant."

**Aaaaaaaah.**

**Review.**

**-IWriteNaked**


	29. Chapter 29

**Sorry I didn't update yesterday. I was unstable, but I'm back now and I apologize for my absence.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments. I'm just dicking around.**

* * *

_Previously on Fatally Yours:_

_I sigh. "There's something we need to talk about."_

_"Uh oh." Says Jace. "That's never good. Are you sleeping with Sebby again?"_

_"No!" I spit venomously. "Why would you even..." I sigh, and try to pull my hand away from Jace's but he doesn't let go. "I don't know how to say this, so I'm just... I think I'm pregnant."_

-Jace Wayland-

_Pregnant. _I got her pregnant. "Are you sure?" I whisper.

Clary shakes her head, and pushes dark red hair away from her eyes. "No. Maybe it's nothing, but I thought you should know... Just in case." She speaks quietly, looking up at the stars.

I let out a long breath, then stand up pulling Clary to her feet. "Let's go." I say.

"Where?"

I lead her to the ceiling hatch. It's still open from when we came up. "We have to tell Valentine. He'll get you a test. It's been long enough to take a test, right?"

Clary shrugs. "I think so."

I nod and climb down the ladder. I try to help Clary down, but she smacks my hand away. Silently, we walk down the stairs, through the hallway and up the stairs into the music room. I replace the key under the piano while Clary puts the rug back. Before we leave, I turn around to make sure everything is in order.

She sneaks sideways glances at me, but I have no idea what to say. I am _not _ready to be a father. I've never even changed a diaper before. I shake my head, pressing down hard on the call button in the back of the closet. I press down on it repeatedly until Clary puts her hand on my arm. She's always so warm. I want to pull her closer, bury myself in the heat. "I think he heard you by now." She whispers, tugging at my arm. I let her lead me out of the closet into our bedroom, and when she instructs me to sit down at the foot of the bed, I don't argue. I'm too stunned to do anything other than follow her instructions.

I'm losing my thoughts, as they twist together. I am falling apart. "Hello children. What do you need?" Valentine finally answers.

Clary flops down beside me. "Um..." She stalls. "We need to talk to you about something." I can feel her gaze on me, and I know she's uncomfortable doing the talking but I can't bring myself to speak.

"I'm listening."

Clary opens her mouth to say something, but no sound comes out. She looks to me for help. "Can we do this in person?" I suggest.

Valentine chuckles. "Yes. Meet me in the library."

-Clary Fray-

Valentine sinks into the overstuffed pastel armchair across from Jace and I. Both of us frown when Sebastian sits down beside him. "Does he have to be here for this?" Jace glares at Sebastian.

Sebastian smirks. "I am allowed to participate in any family discussion. Right father?" _Family discussion?_

Valentine nods. "What is this about?"

I look to Jace, hoping he will tell them, but he just smiles nervously at me. My eyes drift down to my hands, fidgeting with the hem of my t-shirt. "I think I might be pregnant." I blurt.

Valentine grins widely. "That's wonderful news! Congratulations, you two!" His enthusiasm doesn't surprise me. Sebastian's, however, does.

"Prefect."

Jace glares at him. "I don't think I'm ready to be a father..." He mutters.

Sebastian shrugs. "It could be mine."

I nearly choke. "No." Everyone bolts out of their seats.

"It better not be!" Valentine spits. "Clary, you can't have Sebastian's child."

"Why the fuck not?!" Sebastian growls.

"It isn't his." Jace states. He looks at me expectantly. I can feel his gaze on me. I avert my eyes, focusing on anything else. Sebastian is right. It technically _could _be his. I doubt it, but it's possible.

Sebastian chuckles. "See? It could be. I fucked her too, Wayland." He steps closer to us, and speaks in a hushed tone. "And she loved it."

"No." Valentine says firmly. "You can't have a child with Clary."

He whirls to look at his father. "Why the fuck not, father?" Anger shows in every aspect of him. The way his jaw is set firmly, and his tense shoulders. He scowls, as always.

"Because she's your sister!"

Nothing moves. Even breath is withheld. Sebastian's eyes lock fearlessly with mine. His lips tug up at the edges, and he _actually _laughs. "I don't have a sister. Mother died giving birth to me."

Valentine looks back and forth between Sebastian and I. "That was a lie." He admits, regret evident in his expression. "You have a brother and a sister. Clarissa and Jonathan. You and Jonathan are-"

"Twins." I interrupt. "I get it now. That why you look like him... Do you dye your hair?" I squint at him, looking for roots.

He lifts one eyebrow. "Yes, why?"

I pinch the bridge of my nose, and close my eyes. "Because Jonathan has the same hair as... Valentine." I whisper his name, like it's a dark secret I don't want anyone to hear. _Valentine is my father?_

Valentine tsks. "Now, Clarissa. You may call me Father. I'll never understand today's youth, always insisting on disrespecting their parents by referring to them by their first names."

I shake my head furiously. "Luke Garroway is my father."

All the while, Jace has been silent. He speaks now. "Evidently not." He sidesteps, to be closer to me and places his hand on my lower back. Under his breath he whispers "Magnus was right about Jerry Springer." I don't ask what this means. "Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to take my wife away from _him_." He says 'him' as if it's a very foul insult, shooting a look at Sebastian.

Valentine nods. "I will have someone bring a pregnancy test for you in the morning."

We skip over the goodbyes, and just return swiftly to our room. "Are you alright?" Jace steps toward me, cautiously. "Do you want to talk?"

I shake my head. "I don't even want to think about it right now."

"Alright." He says, approaching me. "What _do _you want to do?" Before I can even think of an answer, Jace lifts me onto the bed, his hands trickling across my stomach, lifting my shirt, touching softly at bare skin. His lips slide down my neck, sending a shock of electricity through me.

"Jace." I gasp his name. "What are you doing?"

He chuckles, struggling with the button on my jeans. "I'm trying to have sex with you." He states, like it's the most natural thing in the world.

I swallow hard, trying to forget the annoying nervous feeling you get in the pit of your stomach. "Why?"

"Because" Jace speaks between kisses at my neck and collar bone. "I want to." He pulls away from me, his eyes resting gently on mine. They've darkened to the color of the orange walls I have at home. "If you want me to stop, just tell me."

I blink several times, and squeeze my hand closed too hard. My fingernails cut into my palm. The pain helps me think more clearly, somehow. I want to tell him to stop. I know he would, if I asked. I want to say I'm not ready for this, but that isn't what I do. Instead I whisper "I don't mind." I'm not sure why I said it, but it feels like the truth.

Jace grins. "Really?" His eyes harbor the surprise I imagine we're both feeling. I just lay there beneath him, as he smiles down at me. Maybe I should smile too, but my mouth remains in a straight line.

I sit up slightly, lifting my shirt over my head, and sink back into the pillow. Jace's eyes glide over my stomach, past my breasts and right to my eyes. "You are so beautiful." he bites his lip. "You blush everywhere." I feel his hand running over my stomach. He reaches around my back and pauses at the hooks of my bra. "You really don't mind? I mean, can I..." He trails off, still maintaining eye contact.

I breathe deeply, gathering my nerves. "Whatever you want." He doesn't hesitate, once he has my permission. I wonder briefly how he can unhook my bra with only one hand. I can't even do that.

He leans down, his lips pressing to my ear. "_Anything _I want?" His voice is husky, and he laughs when I tremble under his touch.

"That depends on what you want to do..." I say unevenly, while squirming when his hand slides down the front of my jeans. I gasp when he touches me. It makes him smile.

"What do you want me to do?" He asks.

I take a deep breath. He still smells like rain and oranges. "Take your shirt off."

Jace smirks, and tosses his shirt across the room. My eyes roam over his body, and when they reach his tawny eyes, I see that he's looking at me too. Jace pulls roughly at my jeans. "I want you, Clary. Like, now."

The remainder of our clothing lands in a pile on the floor. He positions himself between my legs, and we get lost in each other. I touch his chest nervously, and he groans into my mouth, pulling my body closer to his. We're running our hands through each others hair, over each others bodies until finally we're locking our fingers together.

With my free hand, I claw at the curvature of his spine, and kiss him deeply in hopes that maybe I can taste his thoughts. And I don't think he really wants me to be his, but in this moment I can pretend that he does. 

* * *

**I just figured out how to do that line. Isn't it spectacular? **

**Aw, the Clace. And the family secret is out.**

**This is my longest chapter in a long time. So, review maybe.**

**-IWriteNaked**


	30. Chapter 30

**Sorry again for skipping another one of my normal update days. I know, it's unlike me.**

**But... 30 Chapters, and not even nearly finished. Also, over 600 reviews! Yay!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments.**

-Jace Wayland-

I watch the subtle way her hips sway as she crosses the room. Clary settles onto the piano bench beside me, her knee pressed against mine. I try to swallow the lump in my throat. "Did you take the test?"

She nods her head, causing a mess of damp hair to fall over her face. I laugh, and smooth it back for her. "It's negative."

I feel like I can finally inhale. "Good." I think that one day I would like to be a father, but I am endlessly relieved that it's not going to be right now. I am only 17.

Clary looks down at her shaking hands, fidgeting with the hem of her shirt. "Are we going to talk about last night?" She asks, never making eye contact with me.

I reach over, playing with her hair. "If you insist..."

When she finally looks up, I am swallowed whole by the details in her eyes. At first they only look like a bright shade of green. Upon closer inspection, I can see yellow flecks and dark green streaks, shooting out of her pupils. I want so badly to kiss her like I did last night, but the fearlessness has faded, being replaced by doubt. I cannot imagine the sick twist of her stomach. The shade of red her cheeks turn when she thinks about the places I've touched her. All Clary says is "Why?" It's the same thing she said last night, before she finally let me show her how I feel.

I sent every emotion I have for her rushing through my fingertips when I ran them over her arched spine, but I don't think she got the message. If I had a better way with words, I wouldn't need to put it all into my kiss. I wish I could tell her this. "I had hoped I'd made it obvious enough to go without an explanation." I mutter, because it's hard to hold a girl wrapped in armor.

Clary bites her lip. "I don't get it." She says. "Why can't you ever say what you mean?" She speaks as if she would warship my honesty, and I realize that Clary Fray isn't the only one wrapped in armor.

"I would if I knew how." It's tragically cliche.

Clary nods and softly says "Let me know when you figure it out." I want to tell her I love her. Not because it's a bomb shelter. It isn't something to hide in after the fallout, but because I mean it. It's the first time in my life I have ever wanted to tell anyone I love them, aside from Celine. It's the first time I've admit it to myself. I open my mouth to tell her, but she's already on her feet, taking a deliberate steps away from me.

It feel a lot like rejection.

-Clary Fray-

I breathe out relief, fear still stuck in my teeth. I never understood when people said they could remember a touch until I still felt his hand in my hair long after it was already gone. Long after we are no longer in the same room.

I walk with my head down into the library. "Clary." I'm greeted by a low, casual voice.

I ignore my instincts, telling me to flee. _He is your brother. He won't try any more. _"Hi, Sebastian."

He rolls his eyes over my body, pausing at my chest. I regret wearing a v-neck, and I think that maybe I was wrong about Sebastian not trying anything. "You look good." He says, smirking.

"Don't be creepy." I cross my arms over my chest.

Sebastian frowns. "It has never been my intention to make you uncomfortable." He moves toward me, putting his hand on my cheek. "This was never a design to hurt you. I didn't know you were my sister when we had sex. I am just as shocked as you are."

I nod. "Can we not talk about that?"

He shrugs, letting his hand fall from my face. "Did you take the test yet?"

I nod again. "I'm not pregnant. Just... late." It's an awkward thing to say. I've never been that regular, but I don't talk about it.

His frown deepens, and he nods. "How would you like to call Jonathan again?"

Bile rises in my throat. "Sebastian, I'm your sister, remember? I am _not _going to sleep with you. You can't bribe me this time." I take a big step backward, putting space between us.

Sebastian grins, his eyes flicking down to my chest again. "It was an offer, not a bribe. I just found out I have a twin brother, and I would like to speak to him. I asked father if I could bring him here now, but he told me no. I thought you might like to talk to him as well."

Realization hits me. "So, you need me for his phone number." I state.

He shakes his head. "I have his phone number. I just don't think he will believe me. He will, however, believe you." Sebastian leans down, his face uncomfortably close to mine.

I put my hand up to stop him. "Siblings don't kiss each other."

He smirks. "Offer's on the table." Sebastian winks, reaching into his pocket. "If you change your mind." He offers his cell phone to me. "Call Jonathan."

I take it from his hand, and dial the only phone number I've ever memorized, beside my own.

**I know a lot of you wanted Clary to be pregnant, but it's not the right time. Maybe later.**

**Question: I was thinking of doing the phone call from Jonathan's point of view. Yes? No? Let me know what you would like better.**

**Review.**

**-IWriteNaked**


	31. Chapter 31

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments.**

-Jonathan Fray-

When my ring tone slices through the sound of my acoustic, my heart leaps into my throat. I reach for my cell phone with one hand, and clutch the neck of my guitar with the other. My screen lights up with _Blocked Number. _I take a deep breath, praying that it's Clary. "Hello?"

"Hey, Slick." My breath hitches at the sound of her voice.

"Clary." I whisper, making my way across my bedroom to close the door. I don't want my mother or Luke to hear me. They would take the phone away, and go to the police. It didn't help last time, so I don't see the point in trying it again. "Are you okay?"

Clary sighs. "I'm okay." She pauses and I hear someone whisper in the background. "I miss you."

"I miss you too, Slim." There's more whispering on the other line.

"Jon, there's something I have to tell you." Says Clary. "It's going to sound crazy."

I bite down on the inside of my cheek. "What is it?"

"Bear with me. I just found out." I grumble an approval. "The man who's kidnapping kids is..." She breathes deeply, and I know she's closing her eyes, biting down on her lip. Though I can't actually see her, I know the expression well enough to hear it in the tense way she exhales. I've seen it a thousand times. "He's our biological father. And you have a twin brother. His name is Sebastian."

I laugh in surprise. I already knew I had a twin brother. And I knew his name was Sebastian, but the fact the Clary knows his name is the part that scares me. _She's with our father? _"They're lying." I try, but even I can't bring myself to believe it. Clary doesn't remember father, or Sebastian. It's all been put in the vault, with everything she can't handle. She dreams about them, but she doesn't know why.

"No." She says firmly. "They look just like you."

Clary is right. It _does _sound crazy, but part of me knows that it's true. There's more whispering. I can't make out what they're saying. "Who's with you?" I ask.

"Sebastian." Something about the way she says his name tells me that she's afraid of him. "He wants to talk to you." Her voice trembles. _If he's done something to her, I will kill him. I don't care if he is my brother._

I don't want to talk to him. I want to keep talking to Clary. But I'm also curious about the brother I lost so long ago. "Why?" I ask, stalling.

"He's our brother." she says calmly. "He just wants to speak with you."

"Fine." I grumble. "But can I talk to you after?"

She sighs. "I hope so. I love you. But Sebastian is getting impatient, so I'm going to give him the phone now."

I hear a shuffle on the other end, and a deep voice awkwardly says "Hello." I remember his voice. The last time I heard it, he was saying '_Clary has to go now.' _and he'd hung up on me. This time he sounds almost nervous.

I say "Hi." through gritted teeth.

"Cary tells me that you're devilishly handsome." He says smugly. I hear Clary scoff in the background.

I force a laugh. "She's a smart girl."

Sebastian's tone softens. "I am rather fond of her."

I bite down harder on my cheek, to the point of drawing blood. "Is she okay?" I ask. "No one has hurt her?"

He's silent for a moment. "She is uninjured."

"But something happened." It's not a question. I can tell by his tone that there's something he isn't telling me.

"You could say that." He says. "Clarissa has been doing all kinds of interesting things."

I hear Clary's voice. She sounds far away, and I can just make out the words "Please don't tell him..."

I suck in a breath through gritted teeth. "Don't tell me what?" I hear him chuckle, and Clary groans loudly. "Sebastian?" I whisper, saying his name for the first time since we were very small. It feels strange rolling off my tongue, like a foreign language I've never even heard of before. "What is it?" I push.

I can hear the smile in his voice. "She isn't hurt, don't worry. She's just been... Trying new things." He says this suggestively, as if I should know what it means.

There's a loud crack on the other end. Clary must have smacked him. "Ouch!" He grumbles, and I feel proud of her.

"Sebastian, please." She begs.

"Tell me!" I demand. "What's going on?"

"She doesn't want me to tell you." Says Sebastian. "You will know soon enough."

I hear Clary say "No." more firmly than I've ever heard her say anything before.

"Tell me!" I growl, frustration rising in my throat. "What happened?" My voice comes out desperately. I've never _not _known what's going on with my little sister before. I can't imagine anything she would not want me to know.

There's a loud crash, and an angry voice saying "Get away from her." I've never heard this voice before.

I hear shuffling feet, and three loud thumping noises. One several seconds before the other two. Then silence. "Sebastian? Clary?"

"Who is this?" The new voice asks, calmly.

I ignore his question. "Where's Clary?"

"She's right here." He says.

"Jace, give me the phone." Clary chimes in. "Jon are you still there?" She asks, no longer sounding far away.

-Clary Fray-  
(A bit earlier)

I hand Sebastian the phone, reluctantly. I want to keep talking to Jonathan, but Sebastian keeps reaching for the phone. I stand there silently, for the most part, until Sebastian starts hinting about sex. "Please don't tell him..." I beg.

Sebastian smirks, pulling me closer to him with the hand that's not holding the phone to his ear. I can hear the frantic murmur of Jon speaking, but I don't know what he's saying.

He puts his hand in my hair. I try to push him away, but he doesn't budge. "She isn't hurt. She's just been..." Sebastian pauses, looking longingly at my mouth. "Trying new things." He leans down, his lips nearly touching mine. I slap him as hard as I can in the ear that isn't covered by the phone. "Ouch!"

He clutches my hair, pulling several strands out of my head, and moves his mouth closer to mine again. "Sebastian, please." I beg. I'm not sure if I'm begging him not to kiss me, or not to tell Jon about what's happened between us. And what's happened with Jace.

"She doesn't want me to tell you. You will know soon enough." He says into the phone.

Sebastian begins leaning forward. "No." I say roughly.

I hear a small voice yelling "Tell me! What happened?" Jonathan is getting frustrated. I push harder at Sebastian's chest, trying desperately to get away.

There's a loud slam of the door, and Jace says "Get away from her." loudly. He pulls Sebastian away from me, and my knees buckle. I hadn't realized he was holding me up. The phone crashes to the floor, and Jace rams Sebastian into the wall roughly. He sinks to the ground, wincing in pain.

I reach for the phone, but it's already in Jace's hand. "Who is this?" He says, calmer that I had expected.

He takes my hand, pulling me to my feet. "She's right here."

"Jace, give me the phone." I reach for it, and he lets me take it. "Jon, are you still there?"

"Yeah, Slim. I'm here." He says soothingly. Suddenly, I want to ask him to sing for me, but we don't have that much time. Sebastian is already struggling to move to his feet. Very slowly. I think Jace broke his ribs. "What happened?"

I try to laugh lightly, but it's pretty obviously fake. "Jace beat up Sebastian."

Jonathan sounds confused. "Who's Jace?"

"Jace is my, um..." I don't even know what to call him. "Friend?" It comes out as a question, and Jace half smiles at me.

"Okay..." Jon starts. "Why did he beat up Sebastian?"

I sigh. "They hate each other." I explain. "You'll understand when you get here." I slap my hand over my mouth, realizing what I've just said. Jace lifts an eyebrow, and Sebastian curses, still writhing in pain.

"What do you mean when I get there?" Jon asks, his voice quavering. I can almost hear his grave expression.

"I wasn't supposed to tell you that..." I say quietly. "They're taking you next. You should run away. Make sure they can't find you."

Jonathan sounds amused. "I'm not going to run." He says. "If I'm there, I can protect you."

My eyes lock with Jace's. His golden eyes smolder into mine in a way that threatens to render me incoherent. "I'm safe. Jace protects me." This makes him smile. "You don't have to be trapped too."

My brother scoffs. "I am not entrusting your life to some stranger I've never met."

Sebastian has finally managed to get to his feet. He holds his hand out, expectantly. "I have to go, Jonathan. I love you."

"I love you too, Clary. I'll see you soon." This causes a sick twist in my stomach, and he hangs up. I put the phone is Sebastian's outstretched hand. His other hand is clutching his side, and his face is masked in agony.

"He _wants _to come here." I whisper, appalled.

**Aaaaaand, there you have it. Jonathan is all "Yeah, kidnap me! :D:D" **

**Review!**

**-IWriteNaked**


	32. Chapter 32

**Filler chapter, because a lot has been going on in the last few chapters. And I think they all need to chill.**

**Also, I just saw that one of my favorite Fanfiction writers is following this story and I died of excitement. Everyone should check out Everything and Nothing by TheElsianPrincess, if you haven't already, because it's awesome.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments.**

-Clary Fray-

It's been two weeks since the phone call with Jonathan. There is still just under two months until they're taking him. I'm getting impatient, honestly. I miss him so much, and now that I know he's okay with being taken I'm not sure if I should be impressed or if I should think he's an idiot. Sebastian has left us alone, so far.

Isabelle sits next to me on the couch. She looks to be around 16-18 weeks pregnant, her normally flat stomach sticking out a little bit. She's flipping lazily through a book of recipes, humming to herself. I silently pray that she's not planning to cook something.

Simon sits beside her, running his hand absently over her stomach. "I hope it's a girl." He says.

Izzy smiles widely. "Me too."

Magnus snickers, sitting his glass on the coffee table. He looks away from the television for the first time in well over an hour. He was all caught up in watching Hannibal, which is understandable. Something about Will Graham when he's imagining himself killing people is unbelievably sexy, in this demented kind of way. "I hope you have a boy." Says Magnus. "And I hope he pees on you while you're changing his diaper." Everyone laughs, besides Isabelle who's glaring.

"If I get peed on, I'm stabbing Magnus." She mutters.

Jordan and Maia stumble into the room, squeezing onto the couch beside Alec and Magnus. We're all here, now. Maia waves at me, and I smile. Jordan keeps his arm possessively around her shoulder. Alec and Magnus hold hands. Jace and I seem to be the only ones keeping our hands to ourselves. I sneak a glance at him. He's staring blankly at the TV.

"Let's do something. This place is endlessly boring." Alec complains, shaking his shaggy black hair out of his startling blue orbs.

Everyone nods in agreement. "What did you have in mind?" Jordan asks.

Alec shrugs. "We could ask Valentine if we can leave this floor." It makes me a little sad that leaving this floor has become exciting for us.

Jace shakes his head. "There's nothing to do on the other floors either."

"There's a pool." Magnus says. "Remember Isabelle's birthday?"

Everyone looks at Simon and laughs uproariously. "What's funny?" I ask.

Simon turns red. "We promised never to speak of it again!" He says, before anyone can answer my question. Everyone laughs again, but agrees. I make a mental note to pry it out of Jace later.

"So, can we ask him about swimming?" Iz asks.

Simon smiles affectionately. "I'll do it."

As soon as the door closes behind him, I turn to everyone. "what happened on Izzy's birthday?"

Everyone laughs again, and Alec cries "You should have seen his face!"

Magnus shakes his head, smiling. "He didn't own swim trunks, so I let him borrow some of mine." He explains.

"Simon is way skinnier than any of us." Jace chimes in. "He was even smaller a year ago."

My eyes widen. "They fell off!?"

Isabelle nods. "He got out, holding them up and while he was running out, he tripped and fell into the deep end. He didn't know how to swim."

Jace chuckles. "Magnus had to give him mouth to mouth."

"Then he freaked out because I 'kissed' him." Magnus does air quotes.

Alec laughs harder. "His expression was priceless. His reaction was the funniest part."

"He hid in our room for a week." Isabelle says.

We fall silent until Simon returns. "He said to be ready in fifteen minutes."

We all rush to our rooms to get ready. I grab the most modest swimsuit I can find, and rush into the bathroom to change. It's plain black, and shows my stomach along with way too much of _everything else._ I don't want to be seen like this, but the other suits were worse. I peak my head out of the bathroom. Jace laughs. "Are you going to come out?"

I step out, with my arms crossed over my stomach. "I'm really uncomfortable."

His eyes roam boldly over my body. "You look good."

I look him over quickly. He's wearing black swim shorts that stop just below his knees, and his chest is bare. I take a shaky breath. "So do you."

He smirks, and Izzy's voice comes from the other side of the door. "Time to go!"

Reluctantly, I follow Jace into the hall where everyone is already waiting. Magnus and Isabelle both wear a plum color. Alec and Maia wear dark blue. Simon wears green, and Jordan wears grey.

A man I've never seen before stands by the stairwell. He has light brown hair, and dull grey eyes. There's a scar on his right shoulder in the shape of a cresent moon.

-Jace Wayland-

We follow one of Valentine's creepy servants to the pool on the bottom floor. Isabelle automatically kidnaps Clary and Maia for 'girl talk.'

I stand beside Alec at the edge of the pool. It smells heavily of chlorine. Magnus immediately does a cannonball, splashing both of us. "What happened to your back?" Alec asks, eying what i imagine is a plethora of criss-cross, red, angry lines going across my back.

All I can do is breathe her name. "Clary."

Magnus swims to the edge, putting his elbows on the floor by our feet. A trail of glitter from his hair shines, floating in the water behind him. "I take it the two of you are getting along better." He winks.

I nod. "Better." Is all I say before crossing over to where Clary and Maia stand. Izzy is already in the pool. I put my arms around both of their shoulder, duck my head and casually say "Ladies." Then I shove them both into the pool. They scream before going under, resurfacing seconds later.

"Jace!" Clary yells, splashing water at me. I jump in after her, and she swims away.

Isabelle giggles and yells "MARCO!"

None of us hesitate before saying "Polo!" in unison.

**Completely pointless chapter, but hey. They're playing Marco/Polo. And they needed to chill for a second.**

**Okay. Review. The next chapter will hopefully be more eventful.**

**See you Wednesday.**

**-IWriteNaked**


	33. Chapter 33

**I know a lot of you are probably reading City of Heavenly Fire right now. And a lot of you probably finished it already. But I can't read it for a while (Small town. Alaska. Impossible to get books.) So if you spoil it for me, just know that I have a Viking Battle Axe, and I will find you.**

**Cheese: I usually read any story that my readers ask me to check out, but unfortunately I am not familiar with the Percy Jackson series. (Again, impossible to get books in Alaska) If I ever get around to reading the books, I'll be sure to check it out though.**

**FatallyYoursFan: Great name. And I am! See?!**

**WARNING: This chapter contains sexy time.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments. I just, you know. (Wiggling my eyebrows suggestively)**

-Sebastian Verlac-

Sometimes, I fantasize about slitting her throat and fucking her all in one swift train of thought. I want to love her in the roughest, nastiest way I know how. I want to be covered in her. Of course, I can't do any of these things, so I swallow my feelings and will them to pass.

I love the feeling of watching a soul diminish at my hands, but I would never hurt Clary. I've killed other girls before, but it's different with Clary. _She's your sister, you sick fuck. _I've told myself this again and again, but it doesn't matter. I'm past the point of no return. I'm in love with her. In love with the look she sends over her shoulder. The way she tells me no, so furiously. The fear in her voice every time she says my name.

I can't forget the way she said my name between pants and moans. I've stayed away from her for weeks, focusing all my energy on sex with other girls, but none of them can compare to her. It's always her name that I whisper in their ears, as I find my release.

I am trying to get over her, so I can be the brother she expects me to be. I am trying so hard to love her just as she needs me to. And I want her to love me as a whole. All my beautiful and flawed parts. My body, my heart, and my determined soul. But in the end, I know she never will. I can only be a brother, in her eyes. My blood won't allow for anything more.

-Clary Fray-

Valentine hangs up with a deafening _click. _Jace and I haven't slept together since the night I found out the truth about Valentine. My biological father. I hate him more than ever. _I don't care what my DNA says. Luke is my father._

Jonathan once told me that he remembers our father, and he'd said he was glad that I didn't. _'He was a terrible man, and he did awful things.' _he'd told me. I wonder if this means he remembers Sebastian too. I wonder why he never told me.

I shake my head, pushing these thoughts out of my mind. "I am shit at sitting here idle, while you're deep in thought." says Jace. He rubs awkwardly at the back of his neck. "You get so lost in your head sometimes. It's beautiful and terrifying."

"I am an exquisite mess." I joke.

Jace smiles, his light eyes ravishing mine. "I know it's got negative connotations, because Valentine commanded it this time, but I'm going to make love to you now, okay?"

He starts leaning toward me, and I sigh, defeated. It's not that I don't want to be with Jace - I do. I've been craving him for days. It's been 3 weeks since the last time we were together. I want him so bad, it hurts. More than that though, I want _him _to want _me. _Not just because Valentine says we have to.

The last time we were together, he said that he wanted me. He said he was doing it because he _wanted_ to. I've tried to figure out what I did before to bring about his attention, but nothing I've tried has worked. I'm even wearing a dress, without Izzy forcing me. Still, Valentine had to _tell _him to have sex with me. I shake my head. "I don't know what making love is. All I know is how to be fucked." I surprise myself by saying this. I'd thought it once before, but never imagined those words coming out of my mouth.

Jace's hand knots into my hair, his lips inches from mine. I have to hold myself back from leaning in, eagerly. "Let me show you." He whispers. My eyes shoot up from his lips to his eyes. finding nothing but genuine sincerity.

I nod slowly. "Okay." My voice comes out small and uneven. I'd never admit it out loud, but thinking about finally being with him again makes my skin flush with desire.

He presses his lips, finally, against mine. I open up for him, and he doesn't waist any time, taking the chance to explore my mouth using his. He pulls me into his lap, holding my hips like crumbling stone. My veins are on fire for him.

His fingers walk up my thigh, under my dress and they push my panties aside. He runs his fingers over me very softly. I whimper, and I wonder if he feels a sense of pride for the affect he's having on me.

Jace peppers kisses over my neck, and continues touching me, but just barely. He's teasing me, and I hate it. "Jace." I complain, aching to feel him inside of me. My hands go straight for his belt.

He chuckles, pushing one finger inside of me. I sigh in relief. "Someone is impatient."

I am filled to the brim with a mixture of embarrassment and desire. Mostly desire. I hide behind a curtain of disheveled red curls. "It's been a while." I mutter.

Jace tries to disguise a laugh behind a cough, but I know better. "If you were getting, um, _frustrated _I would have been happy to take care of you." He winks, and blood rushes to my cheeks. I bury my face in the space between his neck and shoulder.

-Jace Wayland-

Making love is a biological function that ties us to our world, and to each other. I've never called it 'making love' before. I've always seen the phrase as cheesy. But I want to show Clary how beautiful it can be. I want to show her how good I can make her feel.

I hold her in my lap, the warmth of her soft, feminine curves radiating from beneath her thin, wispy sun dress. I can see the smooth outline of her thighs beneath the cotton, which has been thinned by the light. Her conflagration for hair lay in delicate locks on the pale skin of her exposed, freckle splashed shoulder. She blushes, and parts her lips in anticipation. I slide my finger in and out of her and ask "Do you want me?"

Clary bites down on her full, pink lip and nods. "You have no idea." She breathes out.

I smile, but her answer is not enough. I want us both to be 100 percent interested, because otherwise it still feels like theft. I can't steal her affection. I can steal sex, but I'm not interested. I want to make her beg and plead. I need her to want me that bad.

Her lips quiver with excitement as I remove her dress, then her under clothing. She stands before me, wearing nothing but my kiss. Her lips tremble, and she has this far away look in her eyes. "Lay back on the bed."

Clary settles onto the bed, obediently. I brace myself on my hands, hovering above her. She's looking at me with searchlight intensity in her eyes, pulling at the hem of my shirt. She's just realized that I am fully clothed, and she's entirely naked. I can see in her eyes that she's getting impatient. She wants me, but she can't have me yet.

She smells like grapefruit and rain. I'm still debating which one is turning me on more, when she finally succeeds at yanking my shirt over my head. She doesn't like being teased, but it's time for payback. She's been teasing me for days. I thought it was unintentional at the time, but now I realize she was subtly trying to seduce me. I wonder briefly how she went from being a scared girl, to a woman who knows how to effectively frustrate a man, in such a short amount of time.

She removes my pants next, hooking her thumbs in my boxer shorts and jeans at the same time to remove them together. I don't try to stop her. Using one hand, I guide my member, teasing her clit with the tip. She releases a series of small moans. "Jace, please..." Clary whispers, with a pained expression

In a low, husky voice I say "Tell me what you want, Clary."

Her breathing is coming out in short pants, and I realize she's getting close from my half-assed stimulation. I feel a sense of pride. "You, Jace." She breathes out. "I want you."

Clary passes the point of no return. Fingers clenching, eyes widening, back arching, hips bucking. A flurry of convulsion and contractions. The most beautiful loss of control. I enter her before she comes down from her orgasm.

-Clary Fray-

He does things to me that are unbelievable, and the sound of his voice sends me over the top. If he would just keep speaking like that, I'd do pretty much anything for him.

I've never heard myself make these noises before. Jace makes me beg. He makes me plead. I come undone, and let his name fall from my lips like a prayer. His eyes are hypnotizing. Spellbinding, at the very least. They make me feel vulnerable. I think he can see through me, and his eyes have seldom left mine. I can taste his name on my lips.

He's so intricate. So exquisite. I don't know how I could ever resist the deafening, booming thunder that dissolves me in his kiss.

Jace collapses on top of me, breathing heavily. "Damn."

My hands rub absently at the bare skin of his back. My fingers trace a sunken scar. "Where did you get this scar?" I ask.

Jace kisses my forehead and rolls off of me. I feel the loss of his warmth immediately. I crawl under the blanket, pulling it up under my arms. My entire body is vibrating, high on him. I want to move closer, but I don't know what he would think of after sex cuddling. I doubt he even feels anything for me, other than pity. "Sebastian stabbed me once." He says, as if it's completely normal.

I gasp. "What!? Why!?" I roll onto my side, facing him. I make an effort not to get in his personal space. It doesn't make sense, considering we are laying naked in bed together. Personal space doesn't seem the be something we would value, at this time, but doubt settles in the second he's no longer touching me.

Jace chuckles. "He's an angry drunk." He turns onto his side as well, and his hand comes up to trace my bottom lip, for only a second before pulling away. He half smiles, saying "I know you have forgiven me. I don't understand why."

**Remember. No spoilers. Battle Axe. I will find you.**

**Review, maybe?**

**-IWriteNaked**


	34. Chapter 34

**Over 700 reviews, over 260 followers, and 133 favorites!? I am floored by the response to this story. I like you guys. Thanks so much.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments. I just put them in really awkward situations.**

-Clary Fray-

Chords of moonlight stream in through the window, stretching across Jace's bare chest. I silently thank the Angel that my fitful sleep didn't wake him up. I sneak silently out of the room, once I realize sleeping is no longer an option. My plan is to find a book in the library, until I feel like I can go back to sleep, but when I enter the library, I am not alone.

He has strong, angular features and there's no definable emotion in his coal eyes. "Clarissa." He says. He looks so much like my brother, that part of me still wants to trust him. After everything, I still empathize with Sebastian.

"Clary." I correct him, as he takes a step toward me. "What are you doing here, Sebastian? Do you ever sleep?"

He smirks, shrugging his broad shoulders. "I could ask you the same thing."

I shake my head back and forth. "Not as much as I should."

Sebastian raises an eyebrow, mockingly. "I could help you sleep, Clary."

I do my best to mask the disgust I feel. "Sebastian, this has to stop." I tell him. "I'm your sister. You need to get over this little crush you have on me."

Sebastian takes another step toward me, with a look that tells me I've pushed him too far, at the wrong time. "I've tried, little sister. Why else would I have stayed away for so long?" He shakes his head, pulling me toward him. I stumble, crashing into his chest with a _'hmmph'. _"I need you. Just let me show you how good I can be for you."

I jerk out of his arms, running toward the door. _Why can't he take no for an answer? _I enter the wide hallway, bolting toward my room. Sebastian catches me, slamming my back into the wall. I close my eyes tightly, choking back tears. He cages me against the wall, his arms on either side of my body. "Did you really think I would let you get away _again?_" He chuckles. "You belong to me, Clary."

My eyes open, finding his face way too close to mine. "I belong to myself." I say firmly.

Sebastian smirks, shoving his hand down the front of my pajamas. "We'll see." I flinch when he touches me, and use all my strength trying to push him away, but he's stronger than I am.

I can smell liquor on his breath, his free hand placed loosely around my neck. "Stop." I plead, and he just laughs sinisterly.

Two of his fingers are pushed inside of me. "Your body doesn't lie, sweet sister. I can feel how badly you want me." His hand drops from my neck, being replaced by his lips. He grips my arm, too tightly. I know instantly that it will bruise.

Tears prick at the back of my eyes. "No." I sob, struggling against him. I feel sick, tainted and gross. It goes on forever. He doesn't care that I cry and fight, repeatedly telling him I don't want it. I hate him so much. I thought I'd hated people before, but I know now that I was wrong. _This _is hate.

I try to push his hand out of my pants, and he tells me "No." I can't help thinking how backwards that is. It seems like forever he finally pulls his fingers out of me, says "Good girl." and leaves as if nothing happened.

I slump to the floor, letting myself cry. I can still feel his hands. They're everywhere. I hate myself for not fighting back hard enough. I'm sure I could have gotten away, if I'd just fought harder. "I just want my voice back." I whisper to myself. It's hard to say how long I sat there, swallowed in the darkness, tears staining my face. Hours, maybe. I think it's morning now.

"Clary?" Someone kneels beside me. I recognize the voice as Alec, but I can't bring myself to look at him. "Clary, what's wrong?" His hand brushes my shoulder, and I cringe away from him. He takes the hint, backing off a bit. "Should I get Jace?"

I shake my head. "No!" The words come out more desperately than I intended. "Don't tell Jace." I whisper.

"Okay..." He says, giving me a questioning look. "Are you hurt? I could get Magnus. He's got some medical training..."

"I'm fine." I lie.

Alec shakes his head. "You're covered in bruises."

My breath hitches, and I look down at myself. He's telling the truth. There are bruises on my arms, wrists and shoulders where Sebastian restrained me. "I'm fine." I insist, trying to convince myself more than him.

"Clary, I really think I should get someone. I'm the worst person to handle whatever is going on here."

I wipe the tears from my face, pulling myself together. "I'm really okay, Alec. Go back to whatever you were doing." I was doing well, speaking evenly until my voice cracked and I started crying again.

Alec passes his hand through his hair, looking _very _overwhelmed. "Do you, um... I don't know. Do you need a hug?" He asks, helplessly.

I make a noise that's caught somewhere between a laugh and a sob. His electric eyes catch mine, and I nod my head. Alec opens his arms awkwardly, and pulls me into him softly. He encases me gently in well-shaped arms, shielding me, for a moment, from my fears. My arms snake around him, pressing into his shoulder blades.

I try to hold back my emotions, but a small cry escapes my lips. "Shh..." Alec soothes me. "It's alright."

We stay like that for a moment, before I pull away. "Thanks, Alec."

He nods, shifting awkwardly. "Sure thing."

We say an awkward goodbye (because Alec is awkward) and go our separate ways. I try to straighten myself out before opening the door. "Clary." Jace says, looking me up and down. "You've been crying." He gets off the bed, reaching out for me.

"Please don't." I whisper, cringing away from him.

His hand falls heavily to his side. "What happened?"

I move away from him, toward the bathroom. I want to wash Sebastian away. "Nothing." I lie.

Jace sighs. "Something happened. Was it Sebastian?" My heart leaps at the mention of his name.

It's not the first time Sebastian has done this to me. It's just the first time I was unable to get away. "I feel so pathetic."

"You're not pathetic. Tell me what happened, and then we can murder him together, alright?"

I choke back tears. "I'm going to take a shower."

Jace grabs my arm before I can get too far away from him. "Clary, he didn't..." He trails off, but I know what he means.

"No. He didn't take it that far." I don't feel relieved, or grateful just because he stopped there. I feel violated, and I can't imagine feeling worse if he'd done more. He makes my skin crawl. "Please, Jace, let go. I need a shower."

-Jonathan Fray-  
(The next night)

I shoot upright in bed, calling out Clary's name. It's not the first time I've had a nightmare since Clary went missing. I've dreamed up terrible things that could be happening to her. I just hope she was telling the truth when she said she was safe.

It's been three weeks since Clary told me they were taking me next, and nothing. I wonder, with a heavy heart, if they've changed their minds. I just want to be with my baby sister, making sure that she's safe. It's all I know how to do. _Luke was right. I do need her more than she needs me. Now especially. _

I'll have to thank this Jace character, if I ever get there. She said he's been protecting her. I know that Clary would not have said that if it wasn't true. However, I can't trust my sisters life to some random stranger.

I sink back into my pillow when I hear a noise. Feet shuffling across the room. I flick on the lamp, and see a figure leaning against the wall. He wears a black bomber jacket and dark grey jeans. His hair is raven black and his face... Looks like mine. "Sebastian?" I test.

He nods. "Normally, this is the part where I would drug you, but I hear you are coming willingly." He says, stepping away from the wall. _He's a creepy little fucker..._

I throw the blankets off and slip out of the bed. He's several inches shorter than I am, and he's just a little thinner. "Take me to Clary."

**Sorry if this chapter is... Meh. Uninspired.**

**Review?**

**-IWriteNaked**


	35. Chapter 35

**To the guest who pointed out the story copying Fatally Yours: Thank you! Don't worry, I will still be continuing this story. Just remember you all saw it here first! Thanks again.**

**To the person copying Fatally Yours: I'm flattered. Now, get out of here.**

**Disclaimer: I claim ultimate rule and ownership over everything and everyone. (Note the sarcastic tone) I own nothing, but the plot. *Ahem***

-Clary Fray-

"You're not going to tell me what happened?" Jace complains.

I shake my head, unable to find my voice. I've been this way all day. Speaking only when spoken to. Playing I won't be spoken to. Cringing whenever someone touches me, or even gets too close.

Jace settles into the bed next to me. "Why won't you tell me?" His eyes are blazing, burning holes into me. There's no life in mine.

"I just don't want to talk about it." I say, honestly.

"I'm starting to think he did something really, really bad." Jace says, his liquid gold eyes boring into mine. I look away, no longer willing to withstand the intensity of his gaze. "He did." I admit. I'd forgotten how terrible it felt to be violated. And it's worse this time. Even though Sebastian didn't go as far as Jace had to, it's worse for so many reasons. Jace was sorry. He _is _sorry. He only did it because he had to. Sebastian did it because he's been so fucked up by his father - by our father, that he doesn't even know he's done anything wrong. And he's my _brother. _

I don't realize I'm crying until Jace wipes a tear from my cheek. I jump away from his touch, startled. Hurt flashes in his eyes, but he covers it up quickly. He brushed my face just like Sebastian always does, and after a few panicky seconds, I realize... It's okay. "Tell me." Says Jace, softly.

I breathe deeply, closing my eyes and biting down on my lip. "He held me against the wall." I whisper, finally. "He was touching me. Kissing me. His hands were everywhere. I begged him to stop, but he wouldn't." My voice comes out dry. Empty. "I couldn't breathe. I wanted to scream, but I couldn't. He did it for over an hour, I think. He just laughed while I was shaking, because I was so scared. He just laughed at me, and I couldn't stand anymore. I fell when he finally let go, and he smiled. He said 'Good girl.'" I thought I'd be crying by this point in my explanation, but I'm not. I feel nothing, other than how tainted I am. I am a car crash of apathy. "I feel so disgusting. I don't understand why he did that."

I look up to see that Jace has paled. He opens his mouth to say something, but no words come out. I know how that feels, all too well.

"Say something." I beg.

Jace shakes his head. "I should have been there."

"Jace-"

"No, Clary. I should have been protecting you. You said so yourself. You told Jonathan that I protect you, and I didn't. I've never seen Jace look so broken. "I'm sorry that happened to you." He says.

I shrug. "I just want to forget." I yawn, making a show of how tired I am. "I need to sleep." It's not a lie. I woke up in the small hours of the morning, and I've been awake ever since.

Jace nods and turns off the light. "Goodnight, Clary."

-Alec Lightwood-

Magnus lays his head in my lap, and I play with his spiked hair, trace amounts of glitter sticking to my fingertips. "Do you think Clary is okay?" I ask.

He looks up at me, his feline eyes harboring confusion. "Why wouldn't she be okay?"

I shrug, running my hand over her forehead. "I found her crying in the hallway this morning."

He frowns. "Why?"

"I didn't ask." I tell him.

Magnus chuckles. "What _did _you do?"

I smile at him, weakly. "I offered to get Jace. Then I offered to get you, if she was hurt. She didn't want to see anyone, so I did the only thing I could think of."

My husband raises an eyebrow at me. "Which was what? Run away?"

"I gave her a hug." I say, shaking my head. "Anyways... It's really weird to see Izzy pregnant. She's so young. I'm worried about her." I change the subject, before he can make any more jokes about my social skills, or lack there of.

"She'll be fine, Alec. Isabelle can handle just about anything."

I chuckle. "She's worried though."

Magnus sits up, taking my hand in his. "About what?"

I let him pull me closer to him, resting my head against his chest. The sound of his heartbeat soothes me. I like knowing that his heart beats healthily. "She's excited to start a family with Simon. I can see that they love each other. But we're stuck here. None of us want to see their baby grow up here." No one has mentioned this before, though everyone is thinking it.

He smooths his hand up and down my back. "We're all going to get out of here. I don't know when... Or how, but we will."

I sigh. "I miss Max."

"Max is going to get out of here, too."

-Jonathan Fray-

We drive for hours, neither of us bothering to make small talk. Somewhere along the way, I fall asleep. When I wake up again, the sun has come up, over the horizon. We pull up to a spectacular... Mansion? "We're here." Says Sebastian. "Welcome to the Institute."

"Institute?" I question.

He shrugs. "That's what father calls it." Sebastian pulls into a large parking garage. He motions for me to follow him, as he gets out of the car. We stand silently in an elevator, going up several floors. My stomach drops. "This is much easier when I don't have to drag an unconscious body to their room." He says casually.

I try to keep the disgust off my face. "You do that a lot?"

He nods, black hair falling over his eyes. "It's not my favorite pass time, but it's the only time father lets me leave."

We step off the elevator into a long, wide hallway. "What _is _your favorite pass time?" I ask, trying to learn _something _about the brother I lost so long ago.

Sebastian glances sideways at me and smirks. "Sex."

Both of us laugh lightly. "We have that in common."

He chuckles. "Then you'll like it here." He points to a door on the left. "This is your room."

I glance at it, but make no move to go inside. "Where's Clary?"

Sebastian looks further down the hall. "Last door on the left. We can go see her now. I'm sure she's awake." He walks painfully slow. My heart is racing when he knock on the door. I am finally going to see my sister again.

The door knob turns at snail pace, and the door opens but it's not Clary standing in the doorway. A boy with golden eyes and blonde hair stands shirtless, blocking the door from Sebastian. He doesn't seem to notice me. "What do you want, Sebby?" The boy spits venomously. _Why is he shirtless in Clary's room?_

"Clary." Sebastian states.

He closes the door behind him, stepping into the hallway. "She told me what you did."

_Sebby _smirks. "She loved it."

The blonde grabs Sebastian by the collar of his shirt, pushing him against the wall. "I should kill you."

I step between them, trying to keep the peace. The blonde looks at me, finally noticing my presence. "Jonathan?" I nod, glancing between him and my brother. He looks at Sebastian, questioningly. "This is all on you." He turns to me, "I'm Jace Wayland." He tries. _Jace protects me. _Clary's voice rings in my head, and I know I should thank him, but there's no time for that now. I want to see Clary. When I don't respond, he turns to Sebastian. "Go away, Sebastian. Clary doesn't want to see you. Ever." He motions for me to follow him into the room.

The bedroom is done in blue and white. It's a big difference from Clary's room at home. "Jonathan!" I hear her voice, and before I can even see her coming, she's launched herself into my arms.

"Hey, Slim." I say, holding her close to me. Jace watches us with spotlight curiosity. "I missed you." I whisper into her hair.

She pulls away, leading me to the window seat. It looks out over a spectacular garden. I bet Clary has drawn it at least once already. "You're early." She says, glancing at Jace.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"There are still 50 days until you're supposed to be taken, not that I'm counting." Clary speaks quickly.

Jace smiles affectionately at her, and I want to punch him for looking at her with so much passion in his tawny eyes. Plus, would it kill him to put a shirt on? "Sebastian went against Valentine's wishes, and brought him here sooner than planned. He won't be happy."

Clary shudders at the sound of their names, and scoots closer to me. I put my arm over her shoulder. "What did Sebastian do to piss Jace off?" She looks up, locking eyes with Jace. It's as if they're having a silent conversation. My heart aches. I have always been the only one she shared those looks with, and I am terrified that we've already grown too far apart.

"Do you want me to tell him?" Jace asks, still not breaking eye contact with her. There's something in his gaze. Something that looks a lot like love. It's the same way that Luke looks at mom. I glance at Clary, and see growing affection in her eyes as well. _Fuck! I am not ready for her to start dating. _

She shakes her head. "No." Her voice is hushed, like she's ashamed.

Jace nods. I want to push the subject, but I just got here and it's not the time. "We should probably tell him... The other thing."

Clary pulls away from me, keeping her eyes on the floor. "There are a lot of other things. Which one are you referring to?"

-Jace Wayland-

I subtly point to the gold band on my finger. Clary's eyes widen, looking down at her own ring. "I'd rather explain about Sebastian..." She whispers.

I sigh, reaching into the dresser to pull out a shirt. I'm straightening it out, and see Jonathan with one eyebrow raised at me. "Do the two of you... Share this room?"

Clary shuts her eyes and exhales. Her cheeks turn red, and she looks so cute. I might have said so, had her brother not been here, giving me a murderous look. "Jace and I are, kind of... Married."

**Hahahahaha.**

**Review.**

**-IWriteNaked**


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter Song: Go to Hell by Go Radio. (Check it out, yo)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments, or Go to Hell by Go Radio. I just really like Jace.**

_Previously on Fatally Yours:_

_Clary shuts her eyes and exhales. Her cheeks turn red, and she looks so cute. I might have said so, had her brother not been here, giving me a murderous look. "Jace and I are, kind of... Married."_

-Clary Fray-

Jonathan _laughs. _It's been so long since I have heard him laugh that I forget, for a brief moment, how out of place it is. I lose myself in how familiar and how calming his laugh is. And then I remember that he's supposed to be angry. "You're not even old enough to get married." Jon looks at Jace. "I doubt if either of you are."

Jace shakes his head, and sits at the edge of our bed. "This is the reason we're all here." He says. "Valentine is matching us up. You'll probably be married to someone soon."

Jonathan cocks his head to the side, watching Jace carefully. "I will kill you." He is scary calm. It would be better if he'd just gotten angry.

I put my hand on Jon's shoulder. "It's no his fault." I say. "He hasn't done anything wrong."

Jace's golden eyes blaze into mine. The look on his face says that he knows he has. And he's grateful that I would ever say otherwise. "Are you fucking my sister?" Jon asks, abruptly.

"Jon!" I say through gritted teeth. "Stop it. Jace has been here for me when I needed him. There's no need for this."

Jonathan ignores me. "Are you?" He repeats.

Jace sighs, and looks to me for help. I stare back helplessly and mouth the word '_Lie._' "I am not _fucking _your sister." He says, finally.

Jon looks at him skeptically. "I still might kill you."

Jace smirks and nods. "Alright."

The mood doesn't lighten, and we sit there in awkward silence for a long time, with Jon glaring at Jace. "I think I'm going to go see Alec." Jace announces.

The second the door closes behind him, my brother turns to me. "He seems nice."

I smile, and wonder where this mood change came from. "He is."

Jon nods. "You like him." I look down at my lap, turning an unattractive shade of red. "You do!" He exclaims, astonished.

I shrug, nonchalantly. "Maybe a little." I admit. "I don't know."

Jonathan bumps his shoulder against mine. It hurts the place on my shoulder that Sebastian bruised, but I don't let myself wince. "I saw the way you were looking at him, Slim." He sighs. "This is weird for me. You've never liked a boy before."

I shrug again, trying to seem casual. "I don't know if I really like Jace, in that way. He's been a really good friend."

"Good." He says, shifting in his seat. "I _will _kill him, if he gives me a reason."

"You're not even really mad. You dropped the act the second he left the room." I point out.

Jon shakes his head. "I stopped being angry when he said you weren't sleeping together. I just kept it up, to make sure he knows not to try anything... He wasn't lying, was he?"

I freeze. I'm a bad liar. _Be cool, Clary. Be cool. _"No. I can't believe you would even think that. I'm not like that." _Nailed it._

"It's not _you _I'm worried about."

I look into Jonathan's black eyes. They're kinder than Sebastian's. They may look alike, but I can see a big difference in their expressions. Sebastian always looks either angry or apathetic. "Jace would never want to hurt me." I assure him.

Jon nods. "You seem convinced."

An image flashes in my mind. Jace's pained expression the day I first go here. His lips moving to form the words '_I'm sorry._' Even then, I knew that he didn't want to hurt me. He was gentle, even when I fought him, leaving claw marks over his torso. "He convinced me." I say.

"Okay..." He says, scratching at the back of his neck. "So, married, huh? That's a big leap. You've only been here for around two month, right? You might have rushed into things, Slim." He jokes, trying to lighten the mood.

I stick my tongue out at him, childishly. "It wasn't exactly my choice. The wedding was the day after I got here."

"Jace was kidding when he said I might have to get married... Right?" Jon's eyes are wide, and he looks like he might be sick.

I shake my head. "Valentine said they're looking for your wife already."

He groans. "I'm not ready to get married. I'm only 18!" His head shakes back and forth, furiously. "Where is Vally Boy, anyways?"

I shrug. "Burning bunnies, probably."

-Jace Wayland-

"He's going to murder me when he finds out." I mutter, leaning against the wall in Alec and Magnus' room.

Alec watches me cautiously. "Maybe not. I haven't killed Simon yet." _Note the 'yet.' _I remark, silently.

"You should." I say. "Simon is a dweeb, but he was never forced to rape Isabelle." I point out.

"I thought Clary liked you now." Magnus says.

I shake my head. "She tolerates me."

"He doesn't have to know about the rape thing." says Alec, as he sinks onto the porch swing. _I still don't understand why they have that..._

Magnus makes a noise of approval. "No one's going to tell him."

"Unless Valentine makes him do the same thing, when his wife gets here. He'll figure it out, then."

"In which case, he'll understand your situation." Magnus reasons. "He won't be happy, but he'll understand."

I groan. "He's going to kill me. And then, hopefully, he's going to kill Sebastian."

Alec snorts. "What did Sebastian do now?"

"He's obsessed with her! It's creepy."

Magnus arches an eyebrow. "He's still crushing on her, even though he knows she's his sister?"

I shrug. "He doesn't care. He was _doing things _to her yesterday. In the _hallway. _He just doesn't care." I don't even try to mask my disgust.

Alec and Magnus share a look that I shrug off as a couple thing. "This is worse than reality TV." Says Magnus.

-Jonathan Fray-

"Did you bring your guitar with you?" Clary asks in a soft voice. She's tired.

I shake my head. "I didn't think to grab anything. I just wanted to get to you."

She smiles. "Come with me. I have to show you something." We walk back into the hallway, and Clary leads me to the door diagonally from hers. Inside is the most beautiful sight I have ever seen in my life. A bass guitar. A cello. Ukulele. Banjo. _Who the fuck plays a banjo? _Harp. Every string instrument you can imagine. Jace sits behind a grand piano, but the only thing that catches my eyes is my one true love, come to life on the canvas of this room. The most beautiful acoustic guitar I have ever seen. My sister laughs. "Play me a song."

She doesn't have to tell me twice. I reach for the guitar. It feels solid and rests perfectly against me. There's a masculine chuckle, when I begin admiring its flawlessness. I whirl around to see Jace, with Clary sitting beside him on the piano bench. She watches me expectantly.

I sit in a chair near the piano and play one of Clary's favorite songs.

**(Go To Hell, by Go Radio)**

**And I heard you noticed every day while I've been here beside myself.**

**How your bedroom smells just like me and how you found somebody else.**

**But there's a letter that I wrote you just on the back of your top shelf.**

**In case you think the things I've told you, you will hear from someone else.**

**It talks about the things I feel when it's just us inside the dark.**

**About the things I like to think while you lay so close to my heart.**

**And I can't seem to find the words I mean so I try to hold my tongue.**

**While I lay wide awake and restless you should read it says,**

**Go to hell if you're reading this and I'm not here.**

**Take your someone else and let me make this crystal clear that,**

**That I don't need your help and I'm okay by myself.**

**You can go to hell.**

**And they say you tell him every day how you can feel the way I feel.**

**How we're connected by the heart and you're convinced it's something real.**

**Well, if that's true I hope you're smiling like I am from ear to ear.**

**And just in case you think I'm lying I've left a page to make it clear.**

**That now I open up and scream to the whole world that I finally left.**

**So if you hear me out of breath I'm singing.**

**Go to hell if you're reading this and I'm not here.**

**Take your someone else and let me make this crystal clear that,**

**That I don't need your help and I'm okay by myself.**

**You can go to hell.**

**And I feel it's time that I have said,**

**There are some things that I regret.**

**Like never checking out the odds against this bet.**

**'Cause I would bet my favorite things I ever owned.**

**That you would leave and I'd be missing you like hell.**

**But I won't.**

**Go to hell if you're reading this and I'm not here.**

**Take take your somebody else and let me make this crystal clear that,**

**That I don't need your help and I'm okay by myself.**

**You can go to hell.**

**Yeah, you can, yeah you can you can.**

**Go to hell if you're reading this and I'm not here.**

**Take your somebody else and let me make this crystal clear that,**

**That I don't need your help and I'm okay by myself.**

**You can go to hell.**

**Oh, you can go to hell.**

**You make sure you take someone else.**

**Oh, that you know you can, you can go to hell.**

When the song finishes Jace smirks and asks "Are you trying to tell me something?"

Clary giggles. _Clary doesn't giggle. _"I just really like that song." She explains.

The door flies open, and a strikingly beautiful, raven black haired girl walks through looking at Clary with a sinister smile. My eyes wander down her body, stopping at her stomach. _She's pregnant. _"Valentine has summoned us all to dinner tonight. I need to get Clary ready." Her eyes drift to me, and she walks gracefully despite her seven inch heels, offering her hand to me. "I'm Isabelle Lightwood-Lewis."

I shake her hand. "Jonathan Fray."

She flicks her hair over her shoulder. "I know. Clary's brother. That's probably why Valentine wants to see everyone. Sebastian broke a rule." She turns to Clary. "He says I get to dress you up, so come on." Clary groans, but follows her out the door. Just before it slams shut behind them, Isabelle calls "Be ready in an hour, you two. Wear something nice."

**Eh. Not really feeling very inspired today, but I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter.**

**Review.**

**-IWriteNaked**


	37. Chapter 37

**I forgot to answer someone's questions on the last chapter, so to the guest who asked about update days and Jon's wife: I update most days Wednesday through Saturday, and sometimes Sunday. If this changes (Which it likely will, soon) I will let everyone know. As for Jon's wife, it's explained in this chapter. We'll probably meet her in the next chapter, or the one after it. Thanks for reviewing, if you have any more questions, don't hesitate to ask.**

**Also, forgot to say this on the last chapter: GreyGirl2358 is pretty much the greatest ever for saying Vally Boy/Valenslime and Sebastard all the time, and it's basically a religious obligation for me to include it in this story.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments. I'm just dicking around.**

_Previously on Fatally Yours:_

_She flicks her hair over her shoulder. "I know. Clary's brother. That's probably why Valentine wants to see everyone. Sebastian broke a rule." She turns to Clary. "He says I get to dress you up, so come on." Clary groans, but follows her out the door. Just before it slams shut behind them, Isabelle calls "Be ready in an hour, you two. Wear something nice."_

-Jace Wayland-

Isabelle and Clary rush out of the room, leaving Jonathan and I alone. He turns to me with an unreadable expression. "Don't hurt her." He says.

I blink. "I'm not going to hurt her."

He sets the guitar carefully on the nearest stand. His eyes glint with admiration. "She likes you."

"She tolerates me." I correct him.

He shakes his head, as if he can't believe what he's saying. "No. You make her feel safe." Jonathan sighs, cursing to himself. "Look, kid." I cringe internally at his use of the word _kid. _That's the only thing my father ever called me. _Kid. _Never Jace. He refused to even call me Jonathan. "This is fucking weird for me. She's never even liked a guy before you, and I get here to find out she's married. Well, kind of married. She's never been comfortable around anyone but me, and here you are. And she likes you." He's got his head in his hands, cursing under his breath. He looks like he's lost some vital part of him, but he's not losing Clary. I would never take her away from him. Even if I wanted to, she would never allow it. "Are you in love with her?" He asks. I open my mouth to say something - I don't know what, but he interrupts. "Don't lie. I saw the way you look at her."

The night opens like a hinge, for someone selling hope door to door. He's telling me that her feelings might one day match mine. I clutch to whatever shred of self control I have left and tell him "Yes. I love her."

His eyes fill to the brim with something I can only identify as fear. And loss. I imagine he feels like I'm about to remove the love she has for him. I don't think he knows that it can't be removed. "I have been teaching her love all of her life. All I ask is that you continue the lesson."

Later

Clary steps out of Isabelle's room wearing a shiny maroon dress that stops below her knees. It clings to her curves perfectly, showing her soft figure. It has thick straps, and a plunging neckline that shows off the top of her... _Oh God. _I tear my eyes away before something bad happens... If you know what I mean.

The guys all seem to have decided on the same thing, as usual. Dark jeans and black button up shirts. Magnus, of course, has bedazzled the pockets, and placed a neatly folded handkerchief inside his pocket.

I can feel Jonathan's gaze on me, probably imagining new ways to kill me. I can't take my eyes off Clary. She looks stunning. I offer her my arm, as I always do. Her black high heeled shoes look uncomfortable. Jonathan makes and '_ugh._' noise when she takes my arm. She smiles at him, and his expression softens. "Hey, Woogy. You look beautiful."

Clary glares at her brother. "I will destroy you, _Squeezey._"

I smirk. "Woogy? Squeezey?"

Valentine has sent one of his servants to escort us. We follow him down a flight of stairs, and Clary explains "Embarrassing childhood nicknames. He breaks out 'Woogy' any chance he gets."

Valentine stands in the dining hall, by the entry way, waiting to greet us. "Jonathan, my son. It's splendid to finally meet you." He offers his hand to him, and Jonathan stares at it in astonishment.

"Not your son." He says, simply. "Knock it off, Vally Boy." There's a chorus of laughter at the nickname.

_Vally Boy _frowns. "You may call me Valentine, or you may call me father. Dad, even, if you'd like."

Jon scrunches his nose up, just like Clary does. "I like Vally Boy."

"No." he barks.

"It's Vally Boy or Valenslime. You're running out of options here, pal." Jonathan challenges.

The room goes silent, the way it did after Clary kicked Val's ass. _Something about this family. They've got a death with. _Valentine shakes his head, picking his battles. "Sebastian will not be joining us tonight. He's recovering from his punishment. Jonathan, you may take his seat. I will purchase a larger table before we next meet." He directs Jonathan to sit at the end of the table. Clary sits beside him at the corner, and I sit on the other side of her. Alec and Magnus steal the two remaining seats on this side of the table.

"I like this new guy." Magnus says. Alec nods in agreement.

"It's time for introductions, Children. Jonathan has not had the time to properly meet each one of you. State your names and a fact about yourself." Valentine says. "My name is Valentine Morgenstern, and I've created the family we have here today."

He looks at Maia. "Maia Kyle." She mutters. "I hate it here." Valentine tsks.

"Jordan Kyle. I kick ass at avoiding all of you. Maia is my wife."

"Isabelle Lightwood-Lewis. I spend my days demolishing the hearts of young men." Izzy smirks. She's joking, of course. She hasn't even looked at another guy since the day she met Simon.

"Simon Lewis. Married to Izzy. I like Star Wars." He smiles kindly.

"No shit." I mutter.

Jonathan sighs. "Jonathan Fray." He says dryly. "In my free time I make music and bad decisions." He says this with a straight face.

Clary remains silent beside me. "Clarissa?" Valentine presses.

"He already knows me." She says.

Valentine smiles at her, the way a real father would smile at his daughter. It's deceiving. "Play along."

"Clary Fray."

"Wayland." Valentine corrects her.

She sighs, staring into the plate that's just been placed in front of her. "Clary Wayland." She says, defeated. "I'm not a violent person, but if you're a mosquito, I will crush you." Jonathan chuckles, smiling affectionately at his sister.

"Jace Wayland." I reach for the alcohol that's been placed in front of me. "Drinking doesn't solve your problems, but it's worth a shot." Clary frowns as I take a big drink. _Gin. Gross. I hate gin. _

"Alec Lightwood. Socially inept." Short and sweet. I take another drink of gin. Clary sighs, watching me with concern in her eyes.

"Magnus Bane. Married to Alec. Glitter enthusiast."

We lapse again into silence, eating our food. Max smiles sadly at Alec and Izzy. Isabelle gets up to hug him, and Valentine is about to protest when she shoots him a look that says '_Don't fuck with me right now._' Alec gets up and wraps both of them in his arms, whispering something. It's the first time they've done this. My heart pangs, and I think of Celine. She's 14 now, and I can barely remember her face.

When they return to their seats, we continue our meal in silence. I reach for the gin again, and Clary puts her hand on mine. "Jace..."

I shrug her off. "It's fine." It burns going down, and does nothing to lessen the ache I've felt since Jonathan got here. I miss my sister.

Once our plates are cleared from the table, Valentine speaks. "It's time for our announcement." He says. "We were waiting to mention her, because Jonathan wasn't expected for a while, but Sebastian's disobedience has moved things along faster than we planned. Jonathan's wife will be here tomorrow, after Sebastian has healed a little. Her name is Aspen Addison."

"No." Jonathan barks. "Leave the poor girl alone." Clary grips his hand. I put my hand on her back, and she smiles weakly at me.

"I assure you, you will like her. She's very beautiful." Says Valentine.

Jon grits his teeth. "I don't care, Valenslime." Everyone laughs at the nickname, besides Valentine, who's not amused in the slightest. "I don't want to get married."

Valentine sighs. "I think we're done here." I quickly finish my drink before following the others out of the room. _That's gonna hit me hard in a few minutes._

-Sebastian Verlac-  
Earlier.

My hands are strapped to the wall, my face and bare chest pressed into the cold cement. The first time the whip cracks against my skin, I hear rather than feel it. The pain doesn't come for several more seconds. Once it hits me, I have to bite down on my lip to keep from making any noise. _Show no weakness. It's worse if you cry._

Valentine lashes me again, leaving a deep mark on my back, forming an X with the first one. I remain silent, accepting my punishment. _I deserve it, for what I did to Clary. _He lashes me a 3rd and final time. I grit my teeth, holding back a groan. If I make a sound, he will whip me again. This is my punishment for bringing Jonathan early, though it's not my real crime. I'd do it again.

She'll never see it this way, but I did it as an apology. I am all kinds of fucked up, but I know what I did to her in the hallway was wrong. Valentine has raised me to be exactly like him. I am what he made me, but I don't want to be this person anymore. I want to be like Jonathan.

This is not the person I want to be.

**Anyone else feeling bad for Sebby? He's all guilty and shit. This boy needs counseling.**

**Drunk Jace has returned!**

**Jonathan's wife is just going to be an original character, because I like it better than Kaelie or Aline. Sorry.**

**I'll see you all on Wednesday, and review!  
**

**-IWriteNaked**


	38. Chapter 38

**Just bear with me today. I can't really breathe, because asthma, allergy season and forest fires. Drunk Jace is making an appearance in this chapter. I'm pretty excited about it.**

**To the guest called Clancy: I'm laughing so hard right now. What does that even mean? Hahaha. I love your reviews. You crack me up. Thanks!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments.**

-Clary Fray-

Jace is drunk. Again.

I lead him up the stairs, his hand in mine. I worry that he might stumble on the stairs, but he treads gracefully, as always. His eyes are heavily lidded, and he wears a smile that's uncharacteristically goofy. I groan. "Why did you have to get drunk?"

"I had to." Says Jace. "I'm searching."

Jonathan laughs, and we stop outside his bedroom door. "Searching for what?"

"... Myself." Jace says thoughtfully.

Jonathan smirks at me. "Does he do this a lot?"

I shake my head. "No. He's only gotten drunk once since I got here. He's upset about something." I whisper, so Jace doesn't hear. He's leaned against the wall on the other side of the hall.

"Why would he be upset?" Jon asks.

"I don't know. I left you alone with him. What did you do?" I ask, accusingly.

My brother throws up his hands, in surrender. "We talked about music. And I told him to be nice to you."

"That's all?" I press. Jonathan nods. "I'll just have to as him." I turn to ask Jace what's bothering him, but he's gone.

My brother chuckles. "He went in there." He points to the TV room. Where there's more alcohol.

"Fuck." I mutter under my breath, racing toward the door with Jon on my heels.

"Clary!" Jace says joyously. He's sitting on the couch with a bottle raised above his head in his hands. "I missed you."

I step around the couch to take the bottle away, but find him sitting there in only his underwear. "Jace, where are your pants?"

He looks down at himself, as if noticing his nudity for the first time. "I lost my pants, but I found myself."

Jonathan snorts. "That's quite an inspirational quote."

I shoot him a look that says '_Not helping' _and turn back to Jace. "Where are your clothes?"

Jace takes a swig from the bottle. "That's not important right now." I try to remove the bottle from his hands, ignoring Jonathan's howling laughter behind me. Jace grips the bottle tighter. "No. I need this." He slurs.

"You don't need it, Jace." Frustration sneaks into my voice.

Jace lets go of the bottle. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you mad at me."

I take the bottle back to the refrigerator. "I'm not mad at you." My tone is softer this time.

The door opens and Simon walks in, taking in the scene in front of him. Jace in his underwear. Jonathan red faced, and laughing. Me with a look of frustration. "Is Jace drunk?" He asks, walking toward the refrigerator. He pulls out two bottles of water, and straightens out, waiting for an answer.

"Does a tree shit in the woods?" Jace scoffs.

"Bear, jackass. Does a bear shit in the woods." Simon shakes his head.

Jace deadpans. "Where else would they shit?" Simon gives me an apologetic look before leaving the room again. Jace flops over on the couch, putting his feet up. "I was just thinking of something."

I sit down on the arm of the couch, waving Jon over. He sits silently on the other couch, looking amused. "What's that?" I ask.

"When I took you on the roof, and I was gonna kiss you, but then you said you're pregnant." His head rolls to the side, and he looks at me through his eyelashes.

"What." Jon says through gritted teeth. "You said you weren't having sex! And you're _pregnant!?_" He says the last word like it leaves a bitter taste in his mouth.

"No!" I say. "Jon, he's drunk." I turn to Jace. "Izzy is pregnant, not me." _Nice save, Clary. _I mentally pat myself on the back.

Jace nods, and begins inspecting his nails for defects. "I liked it when you laid the beat down on Vally Boy." He grins at Jon, and Jonathan looks to me for confirmation. "That was what happiness is made of."

"You beat up Valenslime?"

I nod. "When he said they were taking you."

Jonathan grins in approval. "I wish I was here to see that." He says. "I'm proud of you."

"Remember when we got married?" Jace laughs.

I'm not sure why he's taking a walk down memory lane, but I decide to play along. "Yeah, Jace. I remember. Magnus was the priest, and he was laughing."

"That was fun." Says Jace. "Until you left me in the middle of the night to-"

"Okay," I cut him off. "I think I should get him to bed."

Jace raises an eyebrow. "At least buy me dinner first."

"You're the one without clothes on, _honey._" I speak with false sweetness in my voice.

Jace snickers. "Yeah, because life is _fucking me._"

I roll my eyes at his joke, and give Jon a hug. "Night, Slick." I say, pulling Jace to his feet. He wobbles a little, and I'm actually surprised. I've never seen him lose his balance before.

My brother looks like he wants to stop me, but instead he just waves and says "Night, Slim."

I ditch the black heels Izzy forced me into, at the door and go into the bathroom to change out of my dress. When I come back out, Jace is under the blanket. "C'mere." He says.

I slip under the covers beside him, and he pulls me closer. I relax in the warmth radiating off his bare chest. We mold into each other, fitting together perfectly. "Why do you always cuddle when you're drunk?"

He holds me tighter. "because it's the only time I'm brave enough." I want to ask what this means, but the words don't come. "Clary?" Jace slurs my name a little.

"Yeah?"

"Can I kiss you?" I look up at him, surprised by the question. He looks down at me with apprehensive eyes.

I shake my head. "You're drunk, Jace."

He pulls me tighter against him, his lips nearly touching mine. I want so badly to close the space, but I hold myself back. "I know." Says Jace. "That's why I'm asking now. Liquid courage."

"You never make sense when you're drunk." I sigh.

"Jonathan says you like me." He says, abruptly. "I was going to tell you all of my secrets tonight, but then I got sad and drunk." He frowns. "It doesn't feel right to tell you when I'm pissed."

"Why are you sad?"

Jace shakes his head. "I want to kiss you. Don't change the subject."

I reach up and peck him quickly on the lips. His breath catches, and he smells heavily of alcohol. "Now tell me what's wrong?"

"If I tell you, I think I should at least get to second base." Jace bargains.

A soft laugh breaks fee. "Okay, deal." I drag my lips into a smile. "What's wrong?"

He sighs. "Celine." Her name tumbles from his lips like an avalanche, catching debris, pieces of every shattered thing that's ever been stolen from him, as if falls.

"Your sister." I whisper. It's not a question.

"The only person I've ever loved." His voice cracks. "Until you..."

He leans toward me, and my breath hitches, realizing what he's just said. "Jace, you're drunk."

He shakes his head. "I love you."

I want so badly to believe these words, but I can't. He'd never say this if he was sober. I shake my head. "I don't believe you."

His fingers tread lightly over my cheekbone, and he kisses me. I can taste the alcohol on his breath. It's the only thing that's keeping me grounded. I pull away. "Stop."

Jace frowns, but doesn't stop holding me. "We had a deal." He says. "You don't have to believe me. I don't expect you to. I'm wasted." He admits, shaking his head. "Just let me show you how I feel." His hand sneaks under the waistband of my shorts and I gasp.

"Jace, no."

"Please..." He whispers into my hair. "Don't you want me?"

I tremble under his touch. "Yes." I confess. "But you're drunk. It's not right. We can't."

Jace chuckles, he chest heaving up and down. "You're worried I'll think you raped me in the morning." He gasps, still laughing. His laughter subsides, and more seriously he says "Clary, I love you. Will you do me a favor?" His voice wavers at the end.

"What?"

"Ask me about this conversation later. When I'm sober. You'd believe me if I had a clear mind, wouldn't you?"

I nod. "I might." The peculiar light from the moon turns his golden eyes into an array of fractured specks of tawny color. My eyes flick to his lips. I hold the memory of his mouth on my tongue. He kisses me quickly before closing his eyes and falling asleep.

-Jonathan Fray-

Something- scratch that, someone flops down on my bed. I open my eyes to see Sebastian standing there, and he looks like he's in pain. Beside me is a beautiful girl with porcelain skin, and long straight locks of brown hair. Her full, pink lips tremble, and her avid copper eyes flash in pain. "Hello, Jonathan." Sebastian says in a strained voice.

The girl whimpers. "What did you do to her?" I ask, trying to forget for a moment that I have to marry this girl.

"The effects of the drug will wear off soon. Just give her some water, and tell her to sleep." Sebastian turns and leaves the room without another word.

"Aspen?" I whisper, but her eyes are already shut and the grimace is gone from her face.

**Okay. I know it's short, but I can't breathe so I'm going to go writhe in pain for a while. See you guys tomorrow.**

**Review!**

**-IWriteNaked**


	39. Chapter 39

**This chapter is just meeting Aspen.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments. I'm just dicking around. But I own Aspen Addison. That bitch is mine.**

-Jonathan Fray-

I watch her apprehensively from across the room. The sun has come up, and in better lighting I can see that Aspen's hair is more copper than brown.

Vally Boy wasn't lying. She's everything I've ever fantasized about, there's no denying that. Her eyes fly open, and her head lifts slightly before falling back against the pillow, and she winces. "Are you alright?" I ask, approaching the bed.

She tenses. "What's happening?" Her voice is strained, but soothing. I know instantly that I want to hear her sing.

"I'm not sure." I admit. I take the water bottle from the nightstand and help her into a sitting position. She clutches her head, as if to reach inside and remove the source of her pain. "Drink this, and try to sleep." I say, following Sebastian's instructions.

She drinks the entire bottle, and lets it fall from her hands. She mumbles something incoherent as her eyelids begin to slide down, covering her copper eyes. There's a knock at my door and Clary walks in. "This is Aspen?" She asks. I nod. "How long has she been here?"

I look at the wall clock. "Two hours."

Clary nods. "Jace says the affects of the drug last around 5 hours, and Sebby said he gave it to her two hours before she got here." Her eyes flick to the girl in my bed. "Do you need anything?"

"No, I'm fine." I say. "How's Jace? Hungover?"

A smile spreads across Clary's face. "No. He's in the shower. Bright eyed and bushy tailed as always." Her eyes flick over to Aspen and she whistles. "Valentine wasn't lying."

I let out a long breath. "No he wasn't."

Clary puts her arm on my shoulder. "Did you give her water yet? I remember that it really helped." I nod, but don't say anything. "I know you don't want to get married, but it's not like it's real. Just play along. Valentine leaves you alone if you do what he says."

I want to ask what he's made her do, but I'm not sure I can handle the answer. We settle beside each other and talk for the next hour. She avoids the subjects of Jace and Sebastian, talking about Simon instead. She tells me about the day they watched all of the Lord of the Rings movies, and how great it is to finally have a friend. And finally she tells me that she's been practicing the guitar, and she's eager to show me her progress once things settle down. I'm glad that she does most of the talking, knowing that I just need to listen to her talk about anything for a while. She's always been good at this. My sister knows exactly when to lend an ear, and when to distract me from everything.

The conversation dies down. She's run out of things to tell me. I suspect that most of her time has been spent with Jace, but she refuses to tell me more about him. "How were you able to ring me?" I ask.

She stares into her lap. "Sebastian let me use his phone."

"How did you manage that?"

Clary breathes in, sharply. "I had to do something for him."

_Oh no. _"What did you have to do?"

My sister looks at me, horror written all over her face. For the first time, I notice that she looks older. It's only been two months since she was taken, but something in her eyes is less innocent. She looks away. "I don't want to tell you." _Fuck. _"I should go..." She trails off, and bolts out the door, letting it swing open behind her.

About fifteen minutes later, Aspen stirs. "Aspen? Are you awake?"

She sits up abruptly. "What... Who are you?" She doesn't seem to be in pain anymore. Just very confused.

I shake my hair out of my eyes. "Jonathan Fray."

"Okay, Jonathan Fray." She says in an annoyed tone. "What the balls is going on?"

I shrug casually. "I'm not entirely sure. I just got here yesterday."

Aspen kicks off the blanket, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed. "Where is 'here'?"

I shrug again, knowing that I'm not the best person to be answering her questions. "I really don't know all of the details. These people kidnapped my little sister two months ago, and I came here willingly so I could protect her..." I think for a second. "Turns out the man running this operation is my father, and my twin brother has been here this entire time, doing _something _to our little sister."

When I look up from the carpet, I see that she's paled. "We're kidnapped?"

I nod. "There's more, but I don't want to lay it all on you at once. It's kind of overwhelming. Can I get you anything? Are you hungry?"

Her eyes meet mine, looking at me for the first time. Aspen pushes the hair from her forehead. "I would dick punch the Pope for some fucking coffee right now."

I grin. "I think I can manage that." I enter the TV room, and walk to the back where the kitchen is. There's already a pot of coffee ready. _Clary, probably._

Isabelle stands by the stove, confusion written all over her face. "Why are there pants in the oven?"

I can't hold back my laughter, and she gives me a questioning look. "Ask Jace."

I'm about to leave when she stops me. "Jonathan."

"Yeah?"

"Is she awake?" I nod, and Iz smiles sadly at me. "Your wedding is tonight. I've got to get her ready soon." I hear the underlying message. _Tell her what's going on._

I close my eyes, breathing slowly. "Damnit." I mutter, before returning to my room... Or _our _room. Aspen is sitting by the window with her knees pulled up to her chest. "I hope black coffee is okay. I don't know where they keep anything in there."

"I like bitter." She mumbles. I'm not sure she meant the coffee.

"Welcome, Aspen Addison." A booming voice comes out of nowhere.

I say "The fuck?" at the same time as Aspen says "What the balls?"

"Your wedding will be tonight. Isabelle will be there shortly to prepare you." _Click._

Aspen looks at me curiously. "You're getting married?"

I put my head in my hands, sitting down beside her. "Not if I can help it."

Her copper eyes widen. They're the exact same color as her hair. "An arranged marriage?!"

I nod. "To you."

The smirk falls from her face. "Well, that sounds lovely, but I really should be going now..."

"Hey," I defend. "I don't want to get married either. I'm just here for my sister."

Aspen feigns hurt. "I thought we had something special." She says sarcastically. The coffee mug comes to her lips, and he wrinkles her nose. "Fuck, that's strong."

I laugh. "My sister probably made it." There's a knock at the door. "Come in." I call.

Isabelle walks in. "Hi, Aspen. I'm Isabelle Lightwood-Lewis." They shake hands. "I'm supposed to get you ready."

-Clary Fray-

Isabelle stole me away to get ready for Jon's '_Wedding_' before I had the time to talk to Jace. I've been forced into a shimmery silver dress with matching heels. Thankfully, she had to hurry so she would have time to help Aspen.

I go back to my room, finally finding a moment alone with Jace. He leans awkwardly against the wall. He's dressed in another black button up with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and black dress pants. He looks _really _good. "Hey." He says, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Hey." I say, just as awkwardly. "Are we going to talk about last night?"

Jace bites his lip, which is really distracting from the task at hand. "Do you want to?"

I nod. "You asked me to bring it up when you're sober."

"Yeah..." Says Jace. "But now that I _am _sober, I was kind of hoping you wouldn't."

_Ouch. _My heart skips a beat, and I blink away tears. "It's okay if you didn't mean it."

He shakes his head, golden curls hanging loosely on his forehead. "I meant it. That's why I didn't want you to bring it up."

I stare at him in disbelief. "What?"

Hurt flashes in his eyes. "It's okay, Clary. I can take rejection just fine. After everything, I know you don't feel the same way. I just thought you should know that I do."

"Shut up." I whisper.

Jace puts his hands up in surrender. "I'm sorr-" His words are cut off, because I'm kissing him. My hand bunches in his shirt, dragging the hem up. His arms are wrapped tightly around my waist, and I smile against his lips when he gasps.

I can feel his heartbeat beneath my clenched fist. Our lips devour each other, panting metaphors, comparing his mouth to everything I can't survive without.

I like how I can make him look at me, with our lips still hopelessly connected. He is a language I want to learn how to sigh in. I shudder when he touches my bare shoulder. I ask for his lips, his teeth, his tongue and he gives me everything I want. We don't pull away until our bedroom door flies open.

Jonathan glares, Jace stammers and I fight not to turn red. Jon lifts his hand, opens his mouth and closes it. He makes a helpless sound, before saying "This is so weird for me." He shakes his head.

I turn away, burying my face in my hands. "This is awkward."

**Okay, do you guys want me to write the wedding night (because we all know what's coming) or should I just write the wedding, and we can all assume what happened after?**  
**In other words, should I write a lemon between Aspen and Jonathan, or are we only interested in the Clace lemons? Haha.**

**Also, what do you guys think of Aspen so far? I've never really done an original character before, so I'm a little nervous about it.**

**Review.**

**-IWriteNaked**


	40. Chapter 40

**HOLY CHIZZ. 63 reviews on one chapter? That's nearly twice as much as I've ever had! I am floored. You guys kick ass. Also, 40 chapters!**

**Okay, so a few people said they don't really want to read the A/J wedding night, but most of you said yes, so sorry guys. You're outnumbered. It will probably be the only time there's a lemon between Jon and Aspen, but it's kind of important. There will be a Clace lemon too though, so I hope that makes up for it.**

**WARNING: Two lemons in this chapter. A lot of sexy time. Not suitable for children.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments. I just make the characters suffer...**

_Previously on Fatally Yours:_

_We don't pull away until our bedroom door flies open._

_Jonathan glares, Jace stammers and I fight now to turn red. Jon lifts his hand, opens his mouth and closes it. He makes a helpless sound, before saying "This is so weird for me." He shakes his head._

_I turn away, burring my face in my hands. "This is awkward."_

-Clary Fray-

Jace makes some excuse about helping Alec with something, leaving Jonathan and I alone. It is endlessly uncomfortable. "So..." He starts. "You and Jace?"

I nod, gnawing at my lip. "I guess so..."

"How long has this been going on?" He asks. "I thought you were just friends."

"We were." I defend. "That was the first time... That happened." It's not entirely a lie. It never meant anything before. It never felt like _that. _

Jonathan nods, cursing to himself. "I didn't think he was going to go for it so soon. He told me he loves you, but God. I thought he would take a while to work up the courage to kiss you."

"Don't be mad at him." I beg. "I kissed him."

Jon's eyebrows disappear into his hairline. "Clary!" He exclaims. "You said you weren't sure if you even liked him!" My brother closes his eyes, overwhelmed.

"I do." I admit. "A lot."

Sebastian appears behind Jonathan in the doorway. "Hello, Clary." He says softly, before turning to Jonathan. _Fuck, it's weird to see them together. They look so similar. _"It's time to get married." He announced.

Jonathan scowls. "Do I have to?"

Sebastian's eyes darken, if that's even possible. "You don't want to know what happens if you defy him."

Jon scoffs. "What would that be?" Wordlessly, Sebastian turns around, and lifts the back of his shirt to reveal 3 long gashes. I can see where older scars have begun to fade, and I wonder briefly how I didn't notice them when we... You know. "Shit." Jonathan breathes out.

Sebastian straightens out his shirt, and blankly says "Just do as he says."

"Did he do that because you brought Jonathan early?" I blurt.

Sebastian nods, and turns to leave. We follow behind him wordlessly, and the others join us in the hall. "Why did you do it then?" Jonathan whispers.

Sebastian shoots a nervous glance at me. "To apologize to Clary."

My jaw finds it's new home on the floor. Jonathan tenses. "Apologize for what?"

Sebastian stares openly at me now. "You didn't tell him?" He whispers, so only I can hear him.

I shake my head and whisper "No. I don't want him to know, and if you value your life, you won't either."

He gets a far away look in his eyes, and mutters something that sounds like "I don't value my life."

-Jonathan Fray-

I stand beside the sparkliest guy I have ever met. Even in his priest outfit, he manages to be shiny, covered in massive amounts of glitter. A familiar tune starts to play. A song written and recorded by me. _How the hell did they get it?_

Accompanied by Valenslime, Aspen walks down the isle in a simple white dress. It's silky and hangs down to the floor. Everything passes in a daze, and all of a sudden Magnus is nudging me. "Do you, Jonathan Christopher Fray, take Aspen Lyn Addison to be your lawfully wedded wife?" I scoff when he says '_lawfully_'. This isn't lawful.

"I would rather not." I say in a bored tone.

Magnus gives me a knowing look, but says "That's not an option, Jonathan. I'm sorry."

"I refuse." I retort. Sebastian coughs, and when we meet eyes I remember what he told me. However, I am not afraid of a few scratches. "I'm really not in the mood for this wedding." I chuck the stupid jacket they made me wear to the ground. "Or this ridiculous clothing." I add.

Aspen grins, and I hear Clary laughing somewhere in the distance. "I'm not really up for it either." Says Aspen. "Maybe later." Magnus snickers.

"I've grown impatient with your games, children." Valenslime says in a controlled voice. "Just kiss your bride, and get on with it."

"Why do I have to be married, if you aren't?"

Vally Boy deadpans. "I am married."

Everyone in the room sputters, eyes locked on him. "What?" It's Sebastian who finally speaks.

"I am still married to your mother." The answer is addressed to me. "Why else do you think she has not married your precious Luke Greymark?"

"Garroway." Clary corrects him in a small voice. He smiles at her, like she's said something cute.

My jaw locks and I just want to get out of here_. I can't believe my mother didn't tell me. _I lean over, and peck Aspen on the lips. She pulls back, her eyes wide and she frowns. I ignore her look of disgust. "There. I kissed her. Can we go now?"

Later.

We all sit at a table with Chinese food placed in front of us. Everyone refused to dance, so he gave up on that portion of the evening. Magnus sits across from me, poking at his chicken with a fork. "I need at least seven sweet and sour packets, or I'm fucked." He says.

It is by far the most uncomfortable meal of my life... Apart from the time mom caught me messing up the bed with some girl, and then made her stay for dinner. That was only slightly worse than this. The time that Valentine dismisses us doesn't come soon enough. He stops Aspen and I at the door. "You intend to consummate your marriage tonight, correct?"

Aspen claps her hands together. "False!" She declares, and begins pulling pins from her hair.

Val turns to me, ignoring Aspen's refusal. "I could always ask Jace and Clary..."

"No!" I exclaim, furiously. "Do not do that."

He smiles and turns to Aspen. "We wouldn't want anything to happen to Aidan, now would we?"

Her copper eyes widen, and she looks like she might pass out. I ready myself to catch her, just to be safe. "You have him?" She asks in a pained voice, barely a whisper.

Valenslime nods. "I do." He moves out of the way so we can pass.

"What a cock." She mutters as we leave.

Up in our room Aspen stands in front of me, tense. "Who's Aidan?" I ask.

"Who are Clary and Jace?" She retorts, defensively.

"Clary is my sister. The redhead. Jace is the boy she was paired with."

"Aidan is my little brother." She answers, all defensiveness gone from her voice. Realization hits me. Valentine has her brother, and if we don't have sex he will kill him, and make Jace and Clary... _Oh God._

"We don't have a choice. We have to do this." I say, quietly.

"I know." Says Aspen, her eyes trailing down my chest. She begins unbuttoning my shirt. It hits the floor with reckless abandon. "Have you done this before?" She asks, void of emotions.

"A few times." I lie. It's been way more than a few times. "Have you?"

"No." She says simply, with the same apathetic tone.

My eyes catch hers, peering into her penny colored orbs. "Are you afraid?"

"Yes." She answers, but her voice seems to come out confidently. She doesn't sound afraid at all, but I can see fear somehow in her posture. She's stiff as a rod.

I've never been with a virgin before. I don't even know how to console her. "I'll be gentle." is all I can say. I lean down, catching her lips with mine. She's a good kisser, moving her lips in perfect harmony with mine.

When she pulls away, gasping for air, I see that at some point she removed her dress. It lays in a crumpled mess at her feet. _How did I not notice_? She steps back, letting me look at her. She's perfect. A flat stomach, and firm breasts. Wide hips, longs legs and elbow length hair. "Holy shit." I say, accidentally.

She crosses her arms, self consciously, looking down at herself. "What?" She snaps.

I shake my head, and pinch the bridge of my nose. "You're sexy as hell."

She sputters. "You're a tall blonde, with the body of a God, and you're telling me that this" she gestures to her body "gets you all hot under your proverbial collar?"

I stare at her in disbelief, then look down at my pants where you can clearly see my excitement threatening to break the seams. "Do you need a second opinion?" I tease, gesturing to the bulge in my pants.

Her eyes follow mine, and she whimpers. "Oh..." Is all she says before unbuckling my belt, letting my pants fall to the floor. "You've got to be shitting me." she sighs, eying the outline of my cock, still inside my underwear.

"I shit you not." I say, trying to keep the mood light. I don't want to freak her out. She groans, pathetically, turning away from me. I come up behind her, unhooking her bra. We lay back on the bed, after removing the remainder of our clothing. We don't touch each other. We lay side by side, not making a sound.

"Continue, Jonathan." The voice comes from the speaker I have yet to locate. I'm going to unplug it, when I get the chance. _Does he have this shit in every room? Does he watch us all the time? Like, in the shower? _

"Jonathan Fray." I correct him. "I will never accept your last name."

Vally Boy brushes me off. "Do as you're told, Jonathan. I will not hesitate to go to Clary."

"Do you get off on this?" I accuse. "You really want to watch your son having sex? That's messed up, _father._" I spit the last word, like it burns coming up. It leaves a sour taste in my mouth.

"I _will _go to Clary and Jace." His voice is stern, and I know that he means it. I'm not sure what he would threaten Jace with, to make him do it. He probably wouldn't even have to threaten him. Clary would do anything, if Valenslime threatened me. Jace would do it if she asked him to.

I roll over, landing on top of Aspen, and she stiffens. "Are you ready? Or should I..." I trail off, running my finger over her more sensitive places.

She trembles under my touch. "I'm ready." Aspen closes her eyes. "Just do it."

I'm not sure if I should do this slowly, or just get it over with, like a band aide. Honest to my word, I remain gentle, sliding into her slowly. I watch her face, waiting for signs of pain. Her eyes open. "Fuck." Is all she has to say.

"Does it hurt?"

"Like a bitch." She shakes her head. "Whoever said it only hurts for a second was a blatant liar." I hold still, trying to give her time to adjust, but Aspen raises an eyebrow at me. "Don't quote me on this, but I'm pretty sure we're supposed to... I don't know, move."

_How is she so casual about this? We're being threatened into having sex with each other, and she's fine with it. What the fuck? _"I wanted to make sure you were okay." I say.

Aspen begins rocking her hips, and it takes a moment for my mind to catch up with my body. I return her thrusts, as she trails her fingers up my abs and over my chest. "Oh God." I gasp.

I have _always _been so careful, using protection every time I've been with a girl. I can't believe I didn't even think about it this time. And holy fuck, it's better without a condom.

I run my tongue down the length of her throat, to the top of her shoulder. She gasps, shuddering and I hope it's out of desire, rather than disgust. Aspen bites down on my pulse, and I groan. I hadn't expected her to be a biter. Not that I'm complaining.

I let my eyes flutter shut, losing myself in the euphoria that is Aspen. Our bodies work together, shifting, rocking and thrusting in order to brush up against every one of each others nerve endings. She scrapes her teeth along the length of my bared shoulder, shoving me toward the edge.

My body trembles violently, tumbling over the edge into a heavy orgasm. Groans fall from my lips as ripples of pleasure spread through me, leaving my nerve endings raw and my throat hoarse. "Damn." I gasp, collapsing onto the bed.

"How do you know he hasn't already made Clary and Jace have sex?" Aspen asks, abruptly. "They seemed pretty into each other. They were happy."

I shoot a glance at her. "Why would you talk to me about my little sister directly after sex?"

She shrugs. "I'm just saying. He's probably done the same thing to them."

My stomach does a sick twist, because she could be right. I wouldn't put it past him. "I have to go talk to them." I mutter, getting out of the bed. I pull on a t-shirt and the first pair of pajamas I can find. "I'll be back... Whenever."

The hallway is dark and silent. The door to Jace and Clary's room is only over closed. I push it slowly, intending to keep my cool and ask them to be straight with me. What I see makes me freeze in my place, and my jaw hits the floor.

Their clothes lay in a pile on the floor. Clary is bouncing up and down on top of Jace. I can tell by her form that she's done this before. She would never be this confident if it was her first time. I want to look away, but I'm frozen in shock and disgust.

He grips her hips and thrusts upward, burying himself in her. She makes noises of pure ecstasy, and bile rises in my throat. Jace is fucking my baby sister, and he's making her come.

I could have gone my entire life without knowing what Clary sounds like when she orgasms, and have no complaints. I can not unsee this. I am going to be sick.

-Clary Fray-

His golden eyes blaze into mine as we stand, facing each other, still dripping and naked from our shower. I kneel down in front of him, and his eyes widen. "Clary, you don't have to-" His words are cut off when I take him in my mouth, bobbing my head up and down, taking him in a little deeper every time. I feel a little proud myself when my nose touches his pubic region. (Or whatever that spot is called...)

Jace makes a guttural noise, and plays with my hair while I tease the tip with my tongue. We lock eyes, and I take him all the way in my mouth again. "Clary..." He gasps, throwing his head back. My hand stays wrapped around him as I stand, and he looks at me dumbfounded.

"What?" I ask, biting my lip. It's a bit tingly from friction, if you catch my drift.

"No one has ever done that for me before." Jace tangles his hand in my hair.

"Did you..." I pause, shifting nervously on my feet. "Like it?"

He sputters. "Yeah."

"Do you want me to keep going?"

Jace shakes his head. "I want to hold you, and kiss you... And make you scream my name."

I blush, and he tosses me onto the bed. He hovers above me, nothing connecting except our lips. I'm impatient already. I know what he's going to do, and I want him to do it _now. _"Jace, I need you."

"I'm right here." He teases, kissing down my neck, and taking my breast in his mouth. _Fuck, fuck, fuck. Oh hell. _I reach down and guide him to my entrance. He takes the hint, and grunts once he's inside of me. "Clary!" _I love it when he moans my name._

"I love you." I whisper into the space between his neck and shoulder. It's the first time I've said these words to him. I hadn't meant to say them, though hopefully he already knew.

Jace halts, looking into my eyes searching for something. I hope that he finds nothing but sincerity. He doesn't need to say it back. I can tell by his eyes that he's drowning in all the pure, innocent love that is trying to get out. "You love me?" He asks quietly.

The lump in my throat won't go away, no matter how hard I swallow. "I thought you knew."

Jace smiles. A real smile, not a smirk or his usual cocky grin. "I thought you just kind of liked me." My hips buck on their own accord. I can't control it. "I love you too." He snaps his hips, and I cry out a strangled moan.

-Jace Wayland-

_She loves me. _I am filled to the brim with happiness... And lust.

Clary flips us over, taking the top. She moves slowly at first, building up speed as her desire grows to peaks I've never seen before. She's fucking perfect. A guttural noise rises from my throat, and I grip her hips to hold her steady while I thrust upward into her. She whimpers, and I feel her muscles spasm around my cock as she comes. I don't slow my thrusts until she collapses on top of me, breathing heavily and trembling.

I'm about to flip us back over, when I see him standing in the doorway, looking like he is going to pass out. At first, I think it's Sebastian being pervy again. And then I see the white hair.

_I am dead._

**Muahahaha.  
**

**Okay, I'm really sorry that I didn't update yesterday, but this chapter took longer to write than normal, since it's way longer than my normal chapters. I hope you all enjoyed this.**

**It's the longest chapter I've ever written, so leave a review!**

**-IWriteNaked**


	41. Chapter 41

**Hahahah. You guys crack me up.**

**Only have a little time today, so it may be short.**

**To the guest called FUNKAY MONKAY: Yeah, I do sometimes. Haha. Everyone I live with has MANNERS and we knock on each others doors before coming in, so no one has ever caught me. Glad you're enjoying the story.**

**WARNING: Lemon.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments. I just make them uncomfortable.**

_Previously on Fatally Yours:_

_I'm about to flip us back over, when I see him standing in the doorway, looking like he is going to pass out. At first, I think it's Sebastian being pervy again. And then I see the white hair._

_I am dead._

-Clary Fray-

Jace pushes me off, abruptly and in a moment of confusion I feel a little insulted. Until he exclaims "Jonathan!" in a mixture of panic and annoyance. "How long have you been standing there?" I whirl to look where Jace is looking, and see my brother standing in the doorway. His face is flushed, and his hands are clenched into a tight fist.

"Oh my God!" I say, pulling the blanket up over my chest. Jace slides under the blanket as well. _This is bad, This is really bad._

"What the fuck, Jon. Were you _watching!? _Were you just going to wait for us to finish!? _How thoughtful."_

"Jace!" I hiss. "He's already going to kill you. Don't be a jerk." Hurt flashes in his eyes when I call him a jerk, but he just hands me his t-shirt that had been flung onto the nightstand this morning. I put it on quickly.

"You're dead." Jonathan states. "Clary, how long has this been going on!? And don't tell me that this is the first time. I know that's a lie." When I don't answer, Jonathan tries again. "How long have you been sleeping with him?"

"That depends on what you qualify as sleeping with him." I answer. Jace face palms.

"What does that even mean?!"

Jace shakes his head. "Don't be mad at her. Murder me if you want. Just stop yelling at Clary."

Jonathan ignores him. "I can't believe you lied to me!" He yells. "You told me today was the first time you even kissed!" He throws his hands in the air. "And you've been fucking him!"

"Today was the first time it meant something." I whisper.

"so you've just been having meaningless sex."

"Why are you even here?" I snap. "And don't give me this crap, Jonathan. You've been having sex with a new girl every few days since you were 15. I lost count of how many girls you'd brought home after 25. You probably don't even know how many girls you've been with. You don't get to freak out just because I've slept with two people. You're such a hypocrite."

"Two!?" Jonathan exclaims. "Jace wasn't the first!? Who the fuck was the first one?" He paces, letting the door swing closed. "Was is Raphael? He always had a crush on you. I never should have left you alone with him that time..." He says something under his breath that sounds like "I'm going to cut that fucker in half."

"Jace was the first." I mumble.

"So the other guy is here!" Jonathan groans. "It's Simon, isn't it? I should have known."

Jace and I both put our faces in our hands. "You really have no right to be mad." I say.

"I have every right!" He says, astonished that I would say otherwise. "You're my sister. No one is allowed to even think of you like that!"

"This is why we didn't tell you. I knew you would freak out."

"You're avoiding my questions, and I'm not freaking out." _He's freaking out._

"Fine! I'll answer any ridiculous question you have if you promise not to hurt Jace." I offer.

Jonathan thinks about this for a second. "I promise not to permanently damage him. That's the best I can do." I hear Jace chuckle beside me, and I can't believe he's laughing at a time like this. I glare at him, and he shrugs.

"That's not good enough." I say. "I don't want you to hurt him."

Jon sighs. "I'll do my best."

"Great." Jace interrupts. "Can we get dressed before the questioning starts, or should I just continue to let it all hang loose?"

This time it's me who face palms. Jonathan looks at him, appalled. "Get dressed. I'll be back in five minutes." He leaves the room without another word.

As soon as my brother is out of earshot, Jace groans. "Damnit. I was enjoying that."

I blush a deeper shade of red. "So was I."

Jace grins, pulling pajamas for both of us out of the dresser. "I noticed." He says and settles back onto the edge of the bed. "Your brother is going to muder me. What are you going to tell him?"

I shrug. "I don't think there's a way out of this. I have to tell him the truth."

Jace nods. "He's going to ask who the other guy is. Are you going to tell him?"

I sigh, placing my head in my hands. "I don't see any way out of that either."

Jonathan has always been very punctual. He returns after exactly five minutes. "Okay, start talking." He demands.

I dig my nails into the palm of my hand. It's a nervous habit that I thought I'd kicked a long time ago, but it rears it's head at times like this. "What do you want to know, exactly?"

Jonathan glares at me. "We'll start with the basics. When did this" he gestures toward us "start happening?"

Jace and I both actively avoid his gaze. "That depends on what you count as _this._" I mumble.

I can tell my brother is getting impatient. "When was the first time he put his prick in you, Clarissa?" I frown when he calls me Clarissa. He never does that.

I blink back tears and Jace rubs circles on my back. "It's okay." He whispers.

"Answer the question." Jon commands.

"The day I got here." I say, through gritted teeth.

"Seriously!?" Jonathan yells, anger distorting his features. This is when he looks least like himself, and most like Sebastian. "you gave it up that quickly! I am really disappointed in you." I can't hold back the tears anymore. Jace pulls me closer to him, and I cry into his chest. "Clary..." Jon says. I hear him take a step closer.

I knot my fist into his t-shirt, and he whispers a whole lot of nothing to me. I hadn't realized how raw it still is for me. I'm not healed from this. I just keep avoiding it instead of dealing with it. I'm going to heal.

_I fucking will._

Jonathan takes another step closer. "Clary, please don't cry..." His voice has only softened a little. He's still fuming.

"She isn't crying because of you." Says Jace.

"Why is she crying then? Clary almost never cries."

"Something bad happened." Jace answers as vaguely as possible. I cling closer to him, though I've managed to stop the tears. He smooths his hand over my hair, until I pull away.

"What happened?" Jonathan asks in a strangled voice.

I stare into my lap. "Valentine made us."

Jon punches the wall. "I knew it! What did he threaten you with?"

"Her life." Jace whispers.

All expressions fall from Jonathan's face. He doesn't even look angry anymore. Just blank. "He said he'd _kill her?_"

Jace nods, and tells him about everything that happened with Eskil. "I didn't want him to hurt Clary."

The anger returns to Jonathan's face. "He made you _rape _my sister?"

I grab Jace's hand. "Yes." I say.

"I should kill you." Jon takes a step closer, and fists his hand in Jace's shirt. He pulls him from where he's sitting on the side of the bed, and slams him against the wall. Jace doesn't even try to fight back, and Jon's fist connects with Jace's jaw.

I leap out of bed, taking Jon's arm. "Stop! I'd be dead if he didn't."

He doesn't let go to Jace, but he turns his head to look at me. "I can't believe you'd be with him willingly after that!"

I try to pull him off Jace, but he doesn't move. Jace could probably push him off, but he's not even trying. "Can we talk about this like adults?"

"We're not adults." Jonathan snaps. _Technically, Jonathan is an adult._

I pull harder at his arm. "You said you wouldn't hurt him!"

"That was before I knew what he did." Jonathan spits.

I wedge myself between them, and Jon finally releases Jace. "I'm sorry." Jace whispers. "I'm so sorry." I've seen him sad before. I've seen him happy, angry, guilty and distant. But I've never seen him _broken. _Jace Wayland looks broken.

I take his hand in mine. "It's not your fault."

"Like hell it isn't." Jon mumbles. "When did you start doing it by choice?"

I look down. "The first time was the day before I last called you. After I found out Valentine is our father."

Jon curses. "Who's the other guy?"

No one speaks. Even breath is withheld. Jonathan watches me expectantly. "I don't want to tell you."

"The deal" says Jonathan "is that I don't hurt Jace if you answer all of my questions."

"And you already broke your end of the bargain. I don't owe you any more answers."

"Answer the fucking question, Clarissa." Jon growls. We rarely argue, and when we do, it never goes on for this long.

"Stop calling me that." I demand.

"Answer the fucking question, _Clary._" He corrects himself.

"Fine." I spit. "It was Sebastian."

Jonathan deadpans. "Clary, that's sick!"

"I didn't know he was our brother." I defend.

"He looks exactly like me! Related or not, that should have been enough to gross you out."

"Shut up!" I snap. "I did it so I could call you. And I've more than payed for that mistake."

"Clary, I-" Jonathan tries to speak, but I cut him off.

"Just get out!" I scream. "Go away! I don't want to see you right now."

"Clary!"

"Leave!" I insist. "You're such an asshole! Just go away."

After Jonathan is gone, Jace and I stand there in silence for a long time. Fiercely, I turn to him, pushing him down on the bed, ripping his clothes off, followed my mine. I stand at the foot of the bed, admiring him, before crawling on top of him, continuing my earlier position.

I hold him down, though I know that he can easily overpower me. He plays along. We both remain silent, gritting our teeth against the onslaught of pleasure. I ride him slowly, teasingly until he _begs _for more. I put all of my anger into just _fucking _him, and he loves it. I release my grip on his hands, and he grabs my hips, urging me to ride him harder and faster.

I moan softly, keeping my rhythm going. he matches my moans with him. His Hips move rhythmically against mine, and he flips us over. He isn't gentle, but I don't want him to be. Jace knows exactly what I need right now, and he doesn't hesitate to give it to me.

His hands tangle into my hair, and he thrusts into me mercilessly, making me whimper each time. He moves desperately, grunting my name occasionally, making me come undone again. "Good girl." He says with a sadistic smirk. After a long time of screaming, thrusting, moaning and a wild string of grunting obscenities, Jace slows and collapses on top of me. "Damn." He mutters into my hair.

**... I hadn't planned for them to have sex again, but then it just happened, and I just kind of went for it.**

**Review?**

**See you guys on Wednesday.**

**-IWriteNaked**


	42. Chapter 42

**Hang on one second while I throw down with someone.**

**J is for Justice: If those petty insults are the best you can come up with, then I shouldn't even waste my time by answering you. However, I can't pass up the opportunity to say that you are such a specific breed of fucknut that I actually had to think of a new insult just for you. So, stop being such a thundercunt and write something of your own if you don't like my story.**  
**Have a nice day, pal.  
**

**Sorry you all had to see that.**

**To the Guest who said "My heart is broken because you didn't update!": Hahaha. I'm sorry! but it's only 8 PM in Alaska, so I technically did! Sorry!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments.**

-Clary Fray-

"You should talk to him, Clary." Jace says, while shaking water from his hair. "You can't stay mad at him forever."

"I can, and I intend to." I grumble, shooting him a glare. "He called me a slut." It's been two days since Jonathan caught Jace and I together. He's made several attempts to speak with me, all of which have resulted in me slamming the door in his face.

Jace looks at me with apprehensive eyes. "He never called you that."

I huff. "He implied it."

"He was unreasonable." Jace agrees. "But I would be mad if it were Celine."

"Celine is barely fourteen." I complain.

"That's beside the point. It's what brothers do." Jace sits down beside me on the window seat, placing his arm over my shoulder. "He thinks you don't need him anymore. It's got to be hard for him."

"I don't need him." I snap. "I've been doing just fine here without him."

"Maybe he needs you." Jace offers.

I shake my head slowly. "He's been fine without me, too."

Jace's eyes smolder into mine. "Has he?" He asks. "He's lost without you. He let them take him, so he could be with you. The guy doesn't know how to live without his little sister."

"Why are you defending him?" I spit. "He punched you in the face, and he doesn't want us to be together."

"The face punching thing doesn't really sit well with me." Jace sighs. "I'm defending him because I understand where he's coming from. I wouldn't be happy if I were in his position."

I groan. "I'm not going to talk to him."

"Why not?"

"I'm mad at him." I pout. Okay, I am well aware of how childish I am being, but he has been a pompous ass. I am allowed to act like a kid sometimes.

I lean over, and bite Jace's shoulder. "What was that for?" He asks with a smirk.

"I'm using my teeth to mark all my favorite parts of you."

-Simon Lewis-

My wife leans into my side as we walk through the hallway toward the TV room, with the intention of finding some silly movies to spend the day watching. Isabelle has been so tired lately, that we've spent most of the last several days on the couch.

She looks to be around five and a half months pregnant, though we have no way of actually knowing that. She'll start waddling soon. I'm really looking forward to that.

Izzy gasps, and my heart leaps. She grabs my hand, placing it against her belly. That's when I feel a thud against my hand, coming from beneath her skin. She grins at me. "Do you feel it? Addie is kicking."

I smile back at her. She's so beautiful. I didn't think it was possible, but she's even sexier while she's pregnant. "Addie?"

"Short for Adalyn." She says, sinking onto the couch.

"It could be a boy." I say. I love to remind her of this. We are both hoping for a girl, though we'd love a boy just as much. She's got her heart set on having a daughter, and it irritates her every time I mention the possibility that she could have a son.

"Rylan or Adalyn is kicking." She says, finally.

-Magnus Bane-

I stumble blindly down the hallway, making my way toward the library. The heavy doors swing open silently, but crash closed behind me with a loud bang. "Magnus!" A voice calls from the left. "I was hoping to find you here."

I spin on my heel, meeting a pair of lifeless black eyes. "Why?" I ask, in a skeptical tone. "We've hardly spoken since I got here two years ago, Sebastian."

"You've studied psychology, right?" I nod, eying him curiously. Really, I took a psychology class in high school and read a few books since I got here. Nothing certifiable, but he doesn't need to know that. "Good. I need your help."

_He needs a psychologist? We all knew that, but no one thought he'd actually get one... _"You want me to be your therapist?"

Sebastian rubs the back of his neck awkwardly. "I don't know what else to do. Maybe it's a dumb idea, but I'm desperate, Magnus."

I sigh, and gesture toward two overstuffed armchairs. "Okay, sit down." We settle in across from each other, and the bugger just watches me like the creepy mother fucker he is. "What do you want to talk about?" Sebastian shrugs. _He sucks at this. _"Tell me about your childhood." I try again.

He blows out a long breath through his lips before speaking. "I've been here for most of my life." He says. "I don't remember my mother. I didn't even know I had siblings."

"How is your relationship with your father?" I press.

Sebby avoids making eye contact. "Not good."

"Go on."

"I'm mad at him." I nod, signalling for him to continue."He told me that when my mother was leaving him, she left me behind because he _rescued _me. I was the only one she couldn't get to. I wish she could have taken me, too. I wouldn't be this way. I'd be like Jonathan." He pauses, shaking his head. "I don't want to blame my father, but I do. This is how he made me."

"Is that why you hurt Clary? Because your father wanted you to?"

"No." He says, closing his eyes and clenching his fist. "I did it because he _didn't _want me to. It made me feel alive and powerful. I wanted her to feel as broken as I do."

I shift uncomfortably in my seat. "How did you feel afterwards?"

"At first I felt good. I wanted to be the one that destroyed her. I wanted to haunt her, because she would never know when I was coming back for her."

"And after the initial high wore off?" I ask.

"I felt sick. Not just because she's my sister, but because I know it was wrong. I'm not beyond knowing right from wrong. I just didn't care." Sebastian speaks in a low, sad voice. I've never seen him this way before. "But then I felt _sick. _I brought Jonathan here, not only as a way of saying I'm sorry, but in order to protect her. He'd never let me hurt her again."

I nod, and slick my hair back, getting glitter on my hands. "Do you want to hurt her again?"

Sebastian's black eyes bore into mine. "I'm afraid that I will."

"That wasn't the question, Sebastian. Do you want to hurt Clary again?"

He leans back in his chair, his expression unreadable. "I want to feel that way again. I want to see how afraid I can make her. The answer is both yes and no. I want to become a better person, and be her brother like Jonathan is. But I also want to feel her squirming beneath me."

I lift an eyebrow at him. "Conflicting emotions."

**Sorry it's short. I had an interview this morning, so I got a late start.**

**What do you guys think of Sebby's counseling session? Should I do more of that, later? Did you like the Sizzy? Do you want more of that? Anyone want me to do some Malec? Let me know what you're interested in.  
**

**Leave a review. It makes me smile.**

**-IWriteNaked**


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